Daily Prompt: Adult Visions

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Adult Visions.”

As a kid, you must have imagined what it was like to be an adult. Now that you’re a grownup (or becoming one), how far off was your idea of adult life?

At best, it was grossly inaccurate.  I couldn’t wait to grow up, to reach that pivotal 18 year mark and be my own boss, do my own thing, make my own decisions.  How many times since have I said, “If only I’d known then what I know now”.

Oh the joys of being provided for, loved unconditionally and yes, even the guidance and direction given to help me navigate the treacherous passages of youth.  At the time, all I desired was more freedom from my parents; these older folks who surely had never experienced anything quite like I was going through.   If they had, they had forgotten it by now.  They just didn’t get it.  Just wait until I was in charge!

Words of wisdom went in one bejeweled ear and out the other.  Advice was received with a nod of the head a smile, with a closed heart and mind.  You see, I already knew everything; well actually more than they did, or so I thought.

I don’t think I really “got it” until I was married and even more so after my first child.  Being a wife, mom and productive member of society was more difficult than I had anticipated.  The bills kept coming, emergencies happened, life didn’t go at all like I planned.  Even in my twenties, I was still making some bad choices, feeling like I had forever and I was invincible.

In my thirties, I lost my mom and found myself dialing her number for months after she was gone, craving words of wisdom, spoken from a heart of love.  I wanted her to help me make decisions, to tell me what to do and she was gone.

At fifty, I can tell you from years of experience, that I was wrong about being an adult.  I thought it meant all fun, frivolity, and doing what I wanted to, with no interference.   Although I have had my share of fun and I love my family dearly, I can tell you that being an adult isn’t all fun and games.  I love the wisdom that comes with being older, but the sheer reality of life is hard sometimes.   I didn’t realize the responsibilities of being a parent, that your love and devotion would continue to grow, even as your influence waned.  I didn’t know that my choices would all have consequences, some of them life long.  I couldn’t have imagined the joys of parenting, nor could I have anticipated the fear of getting it all wrong.

Yes, I was most definitely wrong about what I thought adulthood would be, but I am still happy I am here and glad that I am open to learning from those wiser than me.  I am blessed to have had so much great influence in my life and pray I can be a good example of an “elder” to others as long as I have breath.