2016 September – Long walks and dark chocolate

One of the best days

September 26, 2016 10 Comments

14333016_298730933833087_5619537209019762505_n Thursday, September 22^nd, 4:22am – The bright lights on my bedside clock confirm that I am up way too early for a day that I don’t have to work. As I often do upon awakening, I let the fog dissipate for a moment and realize why I am off today. Today is the big DAY, the day we have prayed and believed for, for over five months now. Barring any complications, you are busting out of Nicklaus Children’s Hospital for your long anticipated homecoming! Of course after I remember all of this, there is no way I will be going back to sleep, work or not. I might as well enjoy my favorite time of the day.

Teeth brushed, I meander to the kitchen and get a cup brewing and moments later, warm cup in hand, I settle into my chair, careful to find glasses first and crank up heating pad. My tummy is full of butterflies as I being to pray and thank God for this day and your continued progress.

Nervous energy continues as I text a few close friends and family members. I am having trouble deciding what to do next. Do I go to town and buy balloons and food first? Do I go down to your house and do some cleaning and finish organizing your room and hang the “Welcome Home” banner?

Mommy spent the night with you last night and when she facetimes me, Nana realized you are not a morning person yet. We will see what we can do about that. I wonder how you felt last night with Mommy in the same room, right beside you all night for the first time since you were delivered on April 13^th. I know Mommy was thrilled and so excited it was hard to sleep.

Nana is so emotional today and I heard that your Grammy is too. I think of your sweet face all situated in your car seat, or imagine the goodbyes of the doctors and nurses that have taken such good care of you, or what you will think of sunlight and grass and flowers and how mom and dad will feel driving away with you settled securely in the car with them, and I cry.

I remember the beginning of your journey and your tiny body being wheeled away and loaded into a helicopter and friends and family holding hands in a circle and praying and I cry again.

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I think about the surgeries and the complications and the good days and bad days and the crazy roller coaster ride of the past few months. Emotional doesn’t even seem to describe it, I feel overwhelmed with joy and thanks. I feel like dancing and singing and doing cartwheels, all while praising God. So I do all of these things, except the cartwheels. I do want to be here well and uninjured when you arrive.

Throughout the day, Mommy calls and Nana helps her call pediatricians; we have to find one that can get you in on Monday in order for you to be released. What a feat, but it’s done. We will do anything to get you home!

After going to town and getting a Welcome Home cake that you can’t even eat yet, Nana arrives at your house to finish what Mommy had started in your room. Did you know that you have been so blessed by friends and family that you have too many clothes and shoes and bows? Nana spends a lot of time just looking at all of your cute stuff.

Oh Cali, you are so loved! People follow the reports on your progress and pray for you daily. They have been more than generous with donations to help mom and dad spend more time with you and pay for gas and hotels and food. They have offered words of hope and advice and encouragement to all of us who call you our own. We have been abundantly blessed and we are all so overwhelmed and grateful.

As the last ray of the afternoon sun casts a warm glow through your bedroom window, I got the text I had been dying for all day long; you were on your way! Mommy posted a picture on Facebook of you nestled in your car seat with a big smile so she could share the news with all of the people who love you. You looked like you knew exactly what was going on.

After that, the hardest part of the day began; the waiting. Nana paced and checked my phone over and over again for the latest report of where you were on your journey. Mommy and Daddy hit the 5 o’clock Miami traffic and then had to stop and feed you along the way. Oh, would you ever arrive?

When Papa and I got the message that you were close, we went outside to wait on the porch. My stomach did flip flops when I saw the headlights come around the corner. You were finally home! Papa was concerned you might get a bug bite so he reminded your daddy to rush you up the stairs. The time had finally arrived and not one moment too soon.

We were all exhausted at the end of the day, but it was a good kind of tired and our hearts were filled with joy. We are anxious to watch you grow and learn and thrive. Cali girl, you are our little miracle and such a strong little girl. We love you ❤

Come, Elegant Autumn

September 8, 2016 4 Comments

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I’ve said before that God created seasons because He knew we were fickle creatures who would get bored easily. My favorite one is Autumn so when I saw that the Daily Prompt was Elegant, I thought about the distinct beauty and grace of the season and wrote down a few of my very passionate feelings about the coming of Fall.

Come, elegant autumn and show off your style. I have been eager for your dignified arrival for months now.

Envelop me like a comfortable sweater and display for me the beautiful foggy nights by your harvest moon.

Tantalize me with the classic aroma of pumpkin and spice and not just on Thanksgiving Day.

Surprise me with briskly changing foliage before the colorful leaves are poised to plunge gracefully to the cool earthy ground at the first windy day.

Bring on your slight chill so we can forage in our closets for the stylish leggings, cozy boots and colorful scarves.

Let my eyes feast on the beautiful cornucopias, pine cones and amber colored candles smelling like apple cinnamon.

And be content to stay for a good long visit, you wondrous golden visitor.

Related stories: Come Autumn and especially October and Goodbye July

Filed Under: Family and Home, Uncategorized Tagged With: Autumn, cinnamon, Daily Prompt, fall, leaves, pumpkin, Thanksgiving

Just give me my binky

September 7, 2016 5 Comments

We sat there in the dark watching her fight sleep, contorting her little face every which way trying to hold on to her binky when it threatens to fall. A binky is otherwise known as a pacifier for those of you who may not have heard it referred to that way. She loves that thing. I’ve heard folks voice their opinions on them both pro and con and have probably stated my own in the past and likely in a negative way to some poor new parent. This is something else I have learned; don’t judge the child still sucking a binky or maybe still wearing diapers. I don’t know their journey.

13912343_280314879008026_5289825603233603215_n Cali will be 5 months old on the 13^th of this month and all she knows up until now is the inside of a room without outside windows. It is mostly white and very sterile. Thankfully, we can dress up the crib a bit and bring some toys in, but it’s just not home. We can’t roll around in the floor or fall asleep with her nestled on our chest. We have to wear yellow gowns to hold her and she is still attached to several lines or tubes.

I try to imagine her discharge day and the way her little eyes will behold so much newness in one day. She will leave the room she has grown up in thus far, see sunlight, ride in a car, see her own home and sleep in a new bed. As anxious as I am for all of this to occur, my heart goes out to these little ones making these big adjustments. They are used to the whiteness, the machines, the beeping and blinking and the cries of other little ones. Maybe I’m just emotional because this is my little granddaughter, but it’s something I have never once thought about until now.

I am determined to learn from this experience, resolved to be a better person because of it, and adamant about increasing in compassion and empathy for others. This brings to mind the verse in Hebrews, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin.”

We should be able to empathize with the weaknesses of others and consider their voyage through this life and the ups and downs and tests and turmoil. Maybe I’m being too transparent when I admit how blind to the predicaments of others I have been in the past. Perhaps some of you will think less of me because of it. But, when I decided to have a blog, I always intended to openly share experiences, always hoping my stories would help shed light on someone else’s path.

I am sincerely grateful to God for every opportunity I get to show love and compassion to someone else, even though I still often fail Him. I still fail in recognizing needs or simply stay too busy to do all that I would like to. You know, part of loving others starts with really listening, taking time enough to know a need exists. We are a busy people and we have to make a point to slow down and be attentive, even in our own families.

PS – Cali is doing much better. They removed her PICC line this week. Her bottle feeding has increased greatly as tube feeding has decreased. She is up to 8 lbs 1 oz and if she continues to do well on feeds and continues to gain weight, our discharge date will be closer 🙂

Filed Under: Christian, Family and Home, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: binky, children, empathy, grandchildren, hospitals, love, NICU, pacifier

Daily Prompt: Plop

September 6, 2016 2 Comments

The Daily Prompt was unusual but I gave it a shot anyway. My offering for “Plop”.

This old guy waits patiently for my husband to come in from fishing

As the leftover bait plopped into the water, the pelicans fought to be the first to snatch it up. You would think they hadn’t been trolling for fish all day long the way they knock each other out of the way to be first. I watched as the winner greedily snatched the bait and marveled as it seemed to threaten to burst through the elastic looking pouch under his bill. God’s creatures never cease to amaze me and they always remind me of His sense of humor.

I walked barefoot over to my favorite chair; the one I have sat and watched what I call “my” cardinals and mockingbird in for a couple of years now. The thing is… I haven’t seen any of them in months. The only birds I see frequently besides the water birds are crows and doves. The big black crows drive me nuts with their incessant cawing as they eat the stale bread a neighbor throws out for them daily. Lately, the doves are the lone visitors to my bird feeder and they are extremely skittish.

My friend said that she caught a snake eating a cardinal under her bird feeder the other day and so I mentioned this to my husband. He said, “Oh yeah, I’ve seen that rat snake hiding in the shrub right by the feeder. He blends right in”. I’m aghast that he knew this was going on and didn’t do something about it! He could have run the snake off or something, right?!?

In light of this disturbing news, I googled it and lo and behold, feeders do often attract snakes which makes sense now that I think about it. Now I have a decision to make. Do I continue to provide seed and hope the birds are stealthy enough to avoid Mr. Rat Snake or do I remove the feeders entirely for fear of unintentionally luring the poor birds to their death? The very shrub the evil thing likes to hide in will soon be sprouting berries that are particularly loved by the mockingbirds. If the same mockingbird visits that did last year, he was mean and territorial. Maybe he will run the snake off to another yard.

I’ve spent hours in my chair, enjoying the birds while I spend time with Jesus and bask in the sunshine or watch the sunset. This will be a difficult change for me. I’m saddened even thinking about removing the feeder and tossing the rest of the seed out in the open. Maybe someone has an idea that will save the day.