Christian – Long walks and dark chocolate

Post Irma musings

October 5, 2017 6 Comments

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As I sit on my cousin’s porch here in Tennessee, the air is cool in the midst of my favorite season. The birds are filled with song and two little squirrels are chasing each other up, down and around a tree. In the midst of one of the most chaotic seasons of my life, I sing praises to my Creator and thank Him for His abundant mercy and the beauty of my surroundings.

After losing our home in hurricane Irma, I am a grateful guest in a household that is filled with the love of Christ.

Due to my granddaughter’s health condition and fearing long lines and possible fuel shortages, we fled the state of Florida prior to Irma’s approach. Some said we were over-reacting but I had prayed about it, discussed with my husband and had peace with our decision. He would stay and continue to make preparations and be close to assess the aftermath and my daughter, granddaughter and I would head for the hills.

The first weekend I was here I remember sitting in Sunday school thinking that if I let one tiny teardrop fall, I was going to bawl a big ole ugly cry in front of a room full of people I didn’t know. I did cry during service as the Pastor described efforts already underway to send trucks of essentials and workers down to assist in our area.

The emotions pre-Irma, mid-Irma and post-Irma have been like the tea-cup ride at Disney. One minute you’re screaming as someone spins the cup faster and faster and the next minute, you need to throw up. And, all of my emotions have been from afar, so add a strange sense of guilt for not being there with and for my friends and family. All I could do was pray, and that I did and continue to.

Mid-Irma, we watched with horror as we experienced wind and storm surge in real-time, thanks to Facebook, face time and videos sent to us. We sometimes watched along with the people we love who stayed to ride it out, hearing the fear in their voices as the waters continued to rise. Thankfully, technology also provided a way to let us know everyone was safe immediately after the worst of it.

Post-Irma my husband sent pictures of the destruction as he walked for the first time back into what we once called home. We cried along with him. We lamented some of our most painful material losses together, always thankful that we still had each other.

Then we shed overwhelming tears of gratitude as we saw people from all over; loved ones, clients and strangers begin to load up trucks like the hands and feet of Jesus, destination Everglades City, to unload a little bit of love and hope.

Homeless Irma victims, we have so much to be thankful for. We have family who immediately opened their home to us until we can find a place of our own, more family and friends, clients and colleagues who have blessed us with gift cards, money, prayers and encouragement, and a place for my husband to stay while he is down there working. We have our lives and our precious memories of how things used to be.

We have a lot to do and some new paths to forge but I remain steadfast in the knowledge that my God will provide. He has not forsaken us, nor will He. This life is fragile and our things are perishable but His love is everlasting and His promises are sure. I pray for wisdom to follow without hesitation His perfect direction and plan for my life.

My deepest gratitude to all who have helped in any way. May God richly bless you.

Filed Under: Christian, Family and Home, Uncategorized Tagged With: Emotions, faith, Family, God, Hurricane Irma, Wisdom

Killing Orchids

June 25, 2017 3 Comments

My thumb is not a nice dark green. I suppose it’s more of a seafoam or chartreuse color. What I am trying to say is that I seem to have about a 60/40 chance of growing beautiful things. Many of my plants do indeed thrive. They have deep, robust color and if a bloomer, they have plentiful and hearty offerings.

Then there are those that start off with a bang, bring me viewing pleasure for months and then die a slow and pitiful death right before my eyes. Others limp along, making little progress only to become diseased.

In the past I attempted to grow orchids. My sister does a great job with them and hers always look beautiful. My friend, Rudy has several that thrive. She shows pictures of them on Facebook and I gaze in wonder at their beauty. One of my uncles used to have many different varieties and he also seemed to believe they were not hard to grow successfully.

I have brought several of them home with high hopes and visions of grandeur, imagining an entire shelf popping with several blooms in every shade of color in various heights. I have cringed as I watched one after another succumb to my inefficient treatment (and they aren’t cheap!). Much to my dismay, I’ve never seen one last for more than a month or so. Yes, I have read about the lighting, fertilization and watering and I have also solicited advice from the above mentioned orchid hall of famers. All to no avail I might add.

Then, I read something the other day. It was about how when the bloom falls off; you can cut the stem a little below the bloom and wait. Often, although it can take a long time, your orchid will bloom again. No one told me this. I always thought that once that flower was gone, it was as good as dead. Now I learn that as long as my leaves still have some life to them, it is very possible that my orchid will rise again to its former splendor. I just needed to wait! Isn’t the waiting always the hardest part? I’m sure some of you are laughing at my ignorance right now and I can’t say that I blame you.

So, I considered my hydrangea which is my favorite flower ever and not the easiest to grow this far south (at least not for me). All the leaves had fallen off. I could barely remember the last flower. But, I haven’t had much time for yard work lately so I hadn’t dug it up yet. I went out and took a peek and lo and behold, there are several green leaves gracing that once barren little collection of sticks. Therefore, I will wait.

In life, one of the things we have the hardest time with is waiting. We wait for the phone to ring, we wait for the water to boil, and we wait in line. We wait for the answer to that prayer. We hear, “good things come to those who wait”, extolling the virtue of patience. And in our exasperation, we throw out the orchid, we dig up the hydrangea and we avoid the plant aisle for fear of another failure.

I have learned today in my mediation on this topic and my prayer is that you have too. We will have to wait for the fruition of good things. We might have to look at an ugly barren stem for a while before we realize the beauty. May we be more patient with things, but more importantly with people. Let’s set our sights on the coming growth and glorious blooms instead of the dead branches of the now. I want to see what God see’s when He looks at me; His plan and the possibilities.

Filed Under: Christian, Family and Home, Uncategorized Tagged With: faith, god's gifts, growth, Hydrangea, orchids, Patience, waiting

Door number two

June 2, 2017 Leave a Comment

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Let’s face it, some days are just harder than others. Every once in a while you wake up realizing immediately that your attitude needs adjusting and sometimes all seems well until a challenging situation comes out of nowhere.

You wake up on time feeling ready to take on the day. The aroma and taste and just right temperature of your coffee pleases 3 of your senses. Your devotion reaches down to touch you in the very depths of your soul and your prayer time is heavenly.

Your cereal doesn’t get soggy and your toast doesn’t burn and you find the perfect outfit on the first try. You get out of the door with time to spare and notice that your hair looks almost perfect in your rear view mirror.

You run some errands. Everyone is pleasant. Traffic is light and you find a nice shaded parking spot. You’re in a marvelous mood. That’s a pretty easy accomplishment when everything is going your way.

Then boom, out of the blue, just like that it can all change. The day that was so agreeable just a few moments ago takes a turn for the worse. Sometimes its a call or a text. At other times, it is something more subtle and sneaks up behind you and grabs you before you know what hit you.

Either way, from this point forward something shifts, the atmosphere around you that was filled with peace and hope now feels like turmoil and dread. Your once sincere smile turns into a pinched and pained one. Tension hovers over you like a cloud ready to burst.

It is what you do at this point that sets your course. You can choose door number one, the one our flesh wants to chose every time, and open it up to continued strife. You can embrace the sour mood, wallow in the unpleasantness, welcome the surly attitude and guarantee more negativity.

Or you can choose door number two, and press in to prayer and worship. Find your strength, peace and love in Christ and let Him be your rock. Lift your head up, forgive quickly, remember to Whom you belong and encourage yourself! Amaze yourself (and others) in your reaction to what the enemy tried to use to defeat you.

I’m learning to choose the second approach and save myself a lot of stress and grief (and repentance). I don’t always succeed but I can definitely say my percentage is improving and that’s a start. Mom always said, “it’s the little foxes that spoil the vines”. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Filed Under: Christian, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: advice, faith, God, life, moods, peace, strife

Uncharted territory

March 29, 2017 2 Comments

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Life is like an expedition of uncharted territory.

We start out wide eyed, confident and seeking adventure, anxious to see the spectacular sights along the way. We want to see, smell, taste, touch and hear it all to our hearts content. We don our traveling apparel and forge ahead. We are explorers, making our way across the great unknown. We are blessed to have direction and signs along the way but we don’t always pay attention. Sometimes we choose to go our own way and end up in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

At times the terrain is flat and easy going, filled with fragrant green grass and flowers. At other times it can be cavernous, cold or treacherous. There may be perils ahead, hiding in the darkness. The mountains loom, the seas rage and the valleys can be daunting. We often travel on with scars, hungry and afraid. At times it doesn’t seem as if we will ever make it, but when we think all hope is gone, mercy shows up and alas, we continue.

Our companions come and go and we meet new friends along the way. Even in this, we must use discernment as everything isn’t what it appears to be. Some are sent by the one who would kill, steal and destroy to make us lose our way.

As the seasons change, we learn new lessons if we are wise and teachable. We are given the tools for a successful journey if we but utilize them properly.
The scenery is beautiful and changes frequently, but time begins to become more precious as it seems to pass by ever so quickly. We live and laugh and love and experience so many new things along the way. We also hurt, cry and mourn the loss of hopes, dreams, and others.

We alone can choose how we will participate in this expedition and where our journey will ultimately take us. The trip will be much more pleasant if we choose love, hope and joy; if we choose a positive outlook and have faith. If we on the flip side, approach it with negativity, dreariness and dread, we will certainly find more of that ahead.

When our final destination is looming, we become more thoughtful and realize more than ever what was really important. If we are granted more time on this earth, we attempt to impart that to others.

Time withers away like grapes on a vine and finally, our journey must come to an end. After all, we were only pilgrims passing through! Let us pray we have left someone better than we found them and shared the way to heaven with many.

Filed Under: Christian, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: Daily Post, journey, life, territory, Travel

Optic Flow

March 28, 2017 1 Comment

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At lunch today, I enjoyed warm sun, a nice breeze and fresh air; an elixir guaranteed to induce tranquility and on occasion deeper than normal thought.

The chair I was lounging in was positioned so that I could look across the creek to a more densely wooded area. Although there is a small clearing, the foliage is pretty dense, so I have never seen much except a few birds and a lone raccoon foraging for food. Birdsong is plentiful from that direction though and today with me having just scared all the black birds away from my cardinal feeder and scattering over there, it was exceptionally loud.

There are always multiple bird species around, but today I noticed something I had never paid attention to before. I was watching a particular bird fly from somewhere behind me into the wooded area and I noticed that he flew into the foliage and managed to dodge branches without even slowing down. Having just watched the raccoon pick its way along the branches and move along carefully, the difference was made all the more obvious.

So, once again, I sat amazed at the wonders of our Creator. I googled it later and found out that birds do this by a trick of the eye called optic flow. Optic flow is the way our eyes perceive motion as we travel thru a landscape. It is the illusion that trees and buildings are passing us by; the greater the optic flow the more quickly things seem to be moving. Below is a short pbs.org video, in case you are interested in knowing more.

Optic Flow Video

As I sat and thought about this, it reminded me how the bird fully trusts his Creator; he forges on ahead using the talent God gave him. And as God cares for this little bird, He cares for me. He sees every obstacle ahead and prepares me to meet them head on. I just have to do my part and trust Him every step of the way.

Matthew 6:25-27 “That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?

Filed Under: Christian, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: birds, Creator, Daily Post, Daily Prompt, elixir, God, optic flow

The Anything But Ordinary Day

March 24, 2017 6 Comments

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Today started out like most ordinary Fridays, with me peering through half closed eyes at the clock to check the time, then realizing its almost seven and feeling like I’m wasting the day away. I stumbled to the bathroom and on to the kitchen for coffee. Thursday is my Friday, so today I allowed myself to sleep late (for me) and take my time getting the day started.

Most Friday’s I do errands and this day would be no exception. As I journeyed to town, I took the time to thank God for the beauty all around me and to ask for His mercy throughout the day. I thanked Him for loving me and loved on Him as I enjoyed the view and the drive. I felt such peace and such a spirit of gratitude enveloped me. I determined in my heart that nothing would take that perfect peace away today.

I thought of a quote I had read this morning that said something about how we could be standing right next to someone who is completely broken and never even know it. I would approach others with this thought in mind and show love.

As I drove on, I didn’t sense any agitation over other drivers or traffic. I had a busy day ahead and many things to do, but I turned up “The Message”, sung along and resolved to do each errand without rushing and with patience and kindness.

Part of my list today included picking up some of my granddaughter’s medications. This can be a test in and of itself because often they aren’t ready, doctor hasn’t approved yet, they require a specialty pharmacy or a compound pharmacy (all things I would have never known about until Cali). I called the farthest pharmacy away (the compound pharmacy) and although that one wasn’t ready yet, they said they would text me when it was. My first actual stop was another pharmacy. The prescriptions weren’t quite ready here either, but they told me to come in and by the time I got to the counter, they would have them. They weren’t all covered by insurance, but the cashier offered to find a coupon that saved me $20.

One of these meds needed to be refrigerated, so I bought an inexpensive cooler and ice and was on my way to grab lunch. My hubby’s business needs required my next two stops and I found what I needed without delay and readied myself to kill time waiting on the other prescription. But, I got a text hours earlier than anticipated and proceeded to the other place, where everything was ready.

I went on about my day and every single conversation and experience was a pleasure. Traffic seemed to be waiting to give me the best spot in line; everyone was kind and helpful and returned my smiles. At my last stop, I talked to lady who was busily stocking shelves and she gave me a much appreciated compliment and then at the checkout I got to hear a story about a man who is helping build homes in earthquake devastated countries.

I left there with a grin on my face and the realization that today had been an extraordinarily good day; a day filled with peace and laughter. Many days are filled with impatience and agitation. Some “errand Fridays” I complain about traffic, rude people, long lines and anything else I can think of. Today, I didn’t!

Yes, I know that all days aren’t amazing and bad things happen, and we are faced with trials and troubles. However, I also know that how you approach your day makes a big difference in the outcome. Oh, the problems are going to show up. It’s how we deal with them that matters.

If I mediate on and implement the scriptures that say “love is patient and kind and long suffering” and the ones that say “think on good things” and “say things that edify others and build them up”, I know without a shadow of a doubt my day is going to go better than if I gripe, grumble and complain and look for the bad. If I meet others with a long face or a scowl, guess what I will probably get in return? If I greet the day with a grateful heart, thankful that I am saved by grace and given this precious gift that comes with such amazing peace I am much more likely to stay on the positive side of things.

As I sit here, errands done and the day winding down to a close I am thanking God again for His many blessings and for this anything but ordinary day.

Filed Under: Christian, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: Christian, Daily Post, Daily Prompt, God, god's gifts, God's Grace, grace, lessons from God, love

Dreading the end of the season?

December 26, 2016 Leave a Comment

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This morning before leaving for work, my husband kissed me and said, “Babe, try to just relax today”. His recognition of my recent relentless efforts to ensure everything went smoothly for Christmas made them all the more worth it, but also reminded me that my favorite holiday was over.

I refilled the lovely coffee cup, covered in cardinals and pinecones, a cherished gift from my youngest and opened the festive Ziploc bag filled with mint chocolate chip cookies baked days ago. Even as I took one out, I lamented the number I have eaten this season.

Sitting in my chair, coffee cup in hand, I looked at our Christmas tree, the floor beneath it now bare, except for one stray shiny ornament and a lone undelivered present. Moments later, I saw a snapchat notification from my youngest and opened a picture of her Christmas tree with the caption, “I don’t want Christmas to be over”.

Since I was entering my time of devotion and prayer, this topic was something I reflected on during my quiet time.

Why do I dread the arrival of December 26^th? To answer that question, I must first ask myself why I love the days preceding it. That’s easy, right? The month of December is filled with hope, with expectations, the joy of giving, and the arrival of friends and family for long overdue visits. People take days off and spend them at home, we search for that perfect gift for those we love and for the most part people seem more cheerful. There are more commercials and movies crafted to observe the joy of the season and it truly does seem that more love abounds or at least a better sense of family and fellowship.

As we celebrate the Christmas season, we reflect more on that life changing gift of our Savior, Jesus Christ. We honor the greatest love ever known and we are constantly reminded of it. We are surrounded by Christmas carols, and many of them honor the Holy One and the virgin birth. We see joy manifested in human form in the faces of our children and grandchildren. We see that giving a gift means we sacrifice something to give to another. Often, but sadly not often enough, we see forgiveness and healing in relationships.

So, if all of the above is what I love, why do I dread what I perceive in my mind to be the “end” of this glorious season?

It isn’t over.

Yes, the Christmas season is over; the last carol has been sung, the last sugar cookie decorated like a candy cane for a while, the gifts are all open, the decorations are already starting to sag and look out of place and some of our families are already homeward bound.

The seasons will change, as they should as new seasons bring new growth. But, the reason for the season never changes and that reason always has been and always will be Jesus! He truly is the Gift that keeps on giving! We are abundantly blessed and we can continue to be a blessing all year long. We can keep the spirit of Christmas strong and alive and well by loving hard all year long, by finding the perfect gifts to bless the poor, lonely and hurting. We can freely and diligently give the gift of prayer. We can decorate lives with compassion, empathy and laughter. We can put God first, family second and everything else below that. We can fellowship more often and be generous in gifting our time to those we love and we can certainly choose to allow a fresh wind of forgiveness to blow through our hearts when needed.

All of this should be obvious of course, but sometimes we need to take the time to allow God to remind of us of old truths and I for one, am glad I did that this morning. Today is a brand new day, filled with life, breath and salvation and I intend to enjoy every minute of it!

Filed Under: Christian, Family and Home, Uncategorized Tagged With: Christmas, Christmas tree, December 26, love, salvation

The other side of the fog

December 11, 2016 1 Comment

Sunday morning Word

This morning I was studying the story of Joseph from his coat of many colors and the telling of his prophetic dreams, to the jealous brothers casting him into a pit, and then selling him into slavery. But all along God had a plan and He positioned Joseph to save Egypt and Canaan from famine. A good outcome didn’t look possible to the human eye, guided by the flesh.

I was reminded of one of my recent trips to Miami to be supportive to my youngest daughter and visit my almost 8 month old granddaughter, struggling with an infection in her lungs. Since her diagnosis of Cystic Fibrosis, she has fought and won many battles in the short time she has been around to bless us. I attribute this to many prayers.

On the particular morning, the fog was thick and blanketed everything for miles. My travelling progress was impeded as I slowly navigated my way through the unknown. Visibility was limited, and I found myself a little nervous because I couldn’t see the cars coming toward me from miles away and I was unsure of what was creeping up behind me until the headlights broke through the fog. I found myself focusing on the fog and its dangers, ready for the sun to break through and begin to burn it all away.

I felt the stirring of the Holy Spirit as I realized that once again, God was trying to teach me something. You know, if we slow down and pay attention long enough, we can hear that still small voice.

Such is life. In this journey through the vast unknowns with Cali, I know that on the other side of it, there is clarity. I cannot begin to figure it all out now, to predict what is coming or to visualize the hidden hazards along the way. I can apply this to so many situations in life; those where I can barely navigate on a daily basis, much less discern the outcome.

But, this I do know; on the other side of the fog, there is a Son and He always burns for me. His will may not be understandable at times, the outcome may not always make sense to me, but I will continue to live in the knowledge that He wants the best for me. In the midst of a broken, fallen world, He is my hope, my strength and my refuge.

Remember, it was never God’s intention that we live in a broken, fallen world that is filled with sin and hurt and hate. And, He loved us enough to send His Son, to give us a chance at redemption, restoration and an eternal life, a life much more important than the short one we will live out on this earth.

Filed Under: Christian, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: babies, Cali, CF, children, Cystic Fibrosis, God, grandchildren, Jesus, Religion & Spirituality

Just give me my binky

September 7, 2016 5 Comments

We sat there in the dark watching her fight sleep, contorting her little face every which way trying to hold on to her binky when it threatens to fall. A binky is otherwise known as a pacifier for those of you who may not have heard it referred to that way. She loves that thing. I’ve heard folks voice their opinions on them both pro and con and have probably stated my own in the past and likely in a negative way to some poor new parent. This is something else I have learned; don’t judge the child still sucking a binky or maybe still wearing diapers. I don’t know their journey.

13912343_280314879008026_5289825603233603215_n Cali will be 5 months old on the 13^th of this month and all she knows up until now is the inside of a room without outside windows. It is mostly white and very sterile. Thankfully, we can dress up the crib a bit and bring some toys in, but it’s just not home. We can’t roll around in the floor or fall asleep with her nestled on our chest. We have to wear yellow gowns to hold her and she is still attached to several lines or tubes.

I try to imagine her discharge day and the way her little eyes will behold so much newness in one day. She will leave the room she has grown up in thus far, see sunlight, ride in a car, see her own home and sleep in a new bed. As anxious as I am for all of this to occur, my heart goes out to these little ones making these big adjustments. They are used to the whiteness, the machines, the beeping and blinking and the cries of other little ones. Maybe I’m just emotional because this is my little granddaughter, but it’s something I have never once thought about until now.

I am determined to learn from this experience, resolved to be a better person because of it, and adamant about increasing in compassion and empathy for others. This brings to mind the verse in Hebrews, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin.”

We should be able to empathize with the weaknesses of others and consider their voyage through this life and the ups and downs and tests and turmoil. Maybe I’m being too transparent when I admit how blind to the predicaments of others I have been in the past. Perhaps some of you will think less of me because of it. But, when I decided to have a blog, I always intended to openly share experiences, always hoping my stories would help shed light on someone else’s path.

I am sincerely grateful to God for every opportunity I get to show love and compassion to someone else, even though I still often fail Him. I still fail in recognizing needs or simply stay too busy to do all that I would like to. You know, part of loving others starts with really listening, taking time enough to know a need exists. We are a busy people and we have to make a point to slow down and be attentive, even in our own families.

PS – Cali is doing much better. They removed her PICC line this week. Her bottle feeding has increased greatly as tube feeding has decreased. She is up to 8 lbs 1 oz and if she continues to do well on feeds and continues to gain weight, our discharge date will be closer 🙂

Filed Under: Christian, Family and Home, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: binky, children, empathy, grandchildren, hospitals, love, NICU, pacifier

What lies beneath?

August 11, 2016 Leave a Comment

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Today’s prompt hit a nerve as soon as I read the word….surface. My mind immediately began to form poems about layers and things hidden deep within. It affected me because it reminds me of a topic that I’ve been contemplating for days.

A few nights ago, I taught on Motives; those deeply private and often impure reasons we do the things we do. As I studied in preparation, I thought a lot about my own motives. I asked myself questions like, “What is hidden in this heart?” and “Are my motives usually pure?” I know better than to ask “always” because I think we all know that our hearts deceive us sometimes and there are other times when we have just allowed the wrong things in and our actions correspond.

I knew I had written on this very topic before so I did a quick search on “motives” and lo and behold, I find Check My Motives. This post was from 2014! So two years ago, God was dealing with me on the same topic. I’m thankful for God’s long-suffering towards me as obviously He is re-addressing this with me once again. I am either a very slow learner or my human heart just needs a reminder from time to time.

We do find ourselves with messy motives though, don’t we? Have you ever done something for someone else with the hope that someone else will notice and praise you? Would you do some of the good things you do if there was to be no visible payoff? Do you hide behind social media and post something with a motive to hurt someone or embarrass them, but tell yourself you are innocent of such?

In all seriousness and honesty, I really do want to have pure motives all the time. In order for that to happen my heart has to be pure, because out of the abundance of it, the mouth speaks (or writes, or posts).

Sometimes things done with insincere motives unwittingly benefit others and often we don’t even realize where our motives are coming from when we act. It is a topic definitely worth reflecting on in your quiet time.

Proverbs 16:2 says, “People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives.” We know God looks upon the heart, but we may forget what that means. He examines our motives. If that isn’t reason enough for me to examine my own, I don’t know what is.