Turkey Troubles


I wrote this a couple of years ago and I hope I have not misrepresented all the turkeys out there!

If I were a turkey I’d start training in April
to keep from becoming a Thanksgiving staple
In May you would catch me honing my skill
on how to avoid those missiles that kill
There’d be classes on dodging a sharpshooter’s aim
and how to outrun those arrows that maim
In June I would learn how to camo my feathers
and to quickly blend in no matter terrain or weather
In July and August under hot scorching sun,
the training would continue, none of it fun.
In September things would get really hard
this is the month I am banned from the yard
Any fat has to go, that fact remains,
No more picking at insects or gorging on grains.
October would bring full starvation mode for me
I can’t afford to look at all healthy you see
When the dreaded month arrives, if I’ve escaped the fate of many,
you would think I could relax and enjoy and eat plenty
But no! December looms as dark as the winter,
and there are some who would have me for their Christmas dinner.
So still I’ll lie low and eat less than I desire,
to keep myself, another year from of the fire.
In January I will gobble and let down my guard
and enjoy my dinner and prance through the yard.

Written By:  Lisa

One of those days

Okay, time to humiliate myself again in front of all my blog followers.

Do you ever have those days?  You know….the ones where you wonder where you left your brain?   I prefer to think that mine is just so full of great information, that it can’t possibly process anything more.

We won’t even go into work today and how wonderful that went.  We’ll just begin this little story right after I got off.  We also will not discuss the interminable phone call with Verizon or the barking dogs.

First, although I am loathe to admit it, I had to take down the Christmas tree today (yes, it is artificial) and pack up the decorations that have been sitting on a table for two weeks now.  This is so unlike me.  Usually that stuff disappears by January 2nd at the latest.  I will blame it on the traveling, and the strep and all the other little things that got in the way.

So today was the day.  I meant it would get done today or else (or else what, I don’t know?  Don’t you find that expression strange?).  I got started and was immediately on a roll.  I was packing up the decorations while my daughter cooked dinner.  She made a meatloaf and was peeling potatoes and we were listening to music and enjoying our conversation.

In my haste to complete this detestable task, I was snatching ornaments off right and left and dropped one of the most expensive ones and it broke into a million (well, more like 5) pieces.  This irritated me, but was grateful that I didn’t even cut myself.

About that time I go into the kitchen to check on things with Morgan and she is mixing the potatoes with the blender and she asked me to check on the meatloaf.  I pulled it out of the oven, poured some ketchup on top, and intended to put it right back in the oven.  My husband had also walked in and was watching and waiting, in anticipation of a tasty dinner.  I went to open the oven door and I have no idea what happened next except that the meatloaf pan went flying out of my hands, the hot grease in the bottom of the double layer pan flew in Morgan’s direction.  She was hit with some of the grease and frightened at the same time and the blenders went flying slinging mashed potatoes everywhere.

I did have the sense to reach up and snatch the plug out of the blender.  Then, I checked on Morgan, and made her go rinse her foot where she sustained the worst of it.  I salvaged enough meatloaf for dinner (barely) as there was some that didn’t hit the floor.  Then, I had to mop the floor, clean the cabinets and wash the rugs.

Finally we ended up eating a delicious dinner of meatloaf, mashed potatoes and peas.  I’m very thankful that Morgan is okay and I realize that this could have been much worse.  And, I am earnestly ready to call it a night and not touch anything else breakable or potentially injurious to anyone.  I think my brain needs a break and so does everyone around me!

Oh, and this was supposed to be posted last night, but my internet quit working about the time I was ready to post…whew, what a day!

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