Someone needs a Valentine

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I love Valentine’s Day and I’m not the least bit ashamed to admit it.  I have always been a sucker anything heart shaped, although I’ve always wondered where the shape originated from, because it certainly isn’t the human heart.  Add to that my adoration for chocolate and cards with loving sentiments, and I’m a goner.

Today I have perused a plethora of posts and blogs about the hatred of hearts and cupid and even love.   That’s fine, I hate Halloween.  I always thought it odd that parents would dress up their children in costumes and masks where they can’t maneuver around or see very well, and send them out in the dark to beg for free candy from strangers (yes I gave in too), but I digress.  I could start a Halloween haters club.  I could dress up in black and plaster my face with hateful expressions, but I would just fit right in, so I think I will continue to do what I have done in recent years, which is simply ignore it.

Most of the Valentine’s Day haters have one thing in common; they are single.  But, who says Valentine’s Day always has to be associated with “lovers”.   Okay, I admit, it is a holiday about love and cupid and his arrows.  For me personally, still in love with the man I married almost 21 years ago, it is a “lovers holiday”.

However, I also think it’s a great time to acknowledge other Valentines in your life.  We always say, “don’t forget to hug your loved ones”, and “if you love someone, let them know”.  Well, what an opportunity and the retail world is more than ready to help you find the right sentiment.

If you are feeling negative or cynical about hugs and kisses and all things smoochie, opt for celebrating with a friend, or a relative, or your kids!  I have been told that I often look at the bright side of things, and I take it as a compliment, although sometimes I’m not sure it’s meant that way.  In the spirit of looking at things from a “glass half full” perspective, I encourage you to try something new this year.

I assure you that if you choose Valentine’s Day to share a little love, whether it’s a box of chocolates, some flowers or even some of your precious time with someone you love, you will not regret it.  It may even melt away some of your Valentine’s Day angst.  I dare you ❤

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

C.S. Lewis

Valentines shoe box

Puppy Love Valentine CardsI remember when my girls were young and we had to buy or make valentines for the entire class.  There were big decisions to be made about who got which one.  Patience was a necessity as they carefully pondered the possible ramifications of each selection. “But mom, if I pick this one, he might think I like him”, and “Which one should I give my teacher?”

Some years we would carefully transform a shoe box into a glittering, shimmering, pink or red valentine mail box.  After the inevitable Valentine party with punch and cupcakes, they would bring it home and excitedly show me all of their cards. I would catch them perusing them again later in their room and maybe tucking one in the frame of their dresser mirror.

We used to make some of them together with construction paper and doilies.  We would cut out shapes, make drawings and pen our own verse, then deliver to family, friends and neighbors, often along with valentine cookies. Their smiles were the only reward I needed for my help. I imagine I could still find some of these treasures if I looked in the right boxes.

Time passes and those memories grow more precious to me as I try to hold on to every one of those sweet moments.  Love grows and changes and those precious little children, who captivated us at birth, weave their own unique and precious pattern deeply and permanently into our hearts.  Once again, I am so grateful for all the times I took the time to really enjoy them, to look in their eyes and listen to them.

Time flies and you never know what is waiting around the next corner. Live well and spend plenty of time with your family.

For me?

Author: Bagande

Okay ladies, let’s get real.  It’s almost Valentines Day.  For those of us who are married or involved with someone, a large percentage of us must admit that yes, in fact, we do want something.

Granted, some of us are easier to please than others.  There are those who say, “I really don’t want anything” who really mean it.  I don’t understand these people at all, so I’m not going to spend any more time exploring that.

You have those who are perfectly content to receive a romantic card.  These will tend to be the same people who like to give cards.  Then, you have what I believe to be the largest group of all, those of us who want gifts.  I belong to this group so it’s the one I’m most familiar with.

The thing I wanted to explore is why it isn’t enough just to receive from our “loves”.  We must also share, post, tweet, call a friend and dish out our good fortune with as many as possible.  So, it seems just the gift isn’t quite enough, we need pictures and at least a little fanfare.  Perhaps the chocolate is a little bit sweeter once we brag about it to our friends.  Oh, we don’t call it bragging.  We share.

I must grudgingly admit that I have done this – Bragging, masquerading like sharing, that is.  This is embarrassing to admit because I feel like it makes me look adolescent.  But, as I’ve said again and again, many personal secrets just don’t seem that sacred anymore; I’m way happier being transparent, partly because I know without a shadow of a doubt, I am not alone.

It’s funny how sometimes either our pride or some deep-rooted insecurity causes us to think we need approval from others.  We need to make sure, especially with our closest friends, that they love him too and that they realize he really does love us.

However, to cover all the bases we don’t always have the wrong motive and often we really are just sharing something wonderful that happened in our lives with people who we love, who love us back.  This is the good kind of sharing; nothing to be ashamed of here at all.

Truth be told, I love my husband and I don’t need a gift from him to prove his love; he shows it every day.  It’s bigger than the biggest card or heart he could buy.  This should be enough for me and my motives should be remain pure in all of my conversations, pictures and posting about it.

Hopefully as the day set aside for all things romantic approaches, we will remember this and think about our knight in shining armor who took his time to make the day a little more special for us and not worry so much about what others need to know or think about it.

Also, there are a lot of hurting people out there who have either lost someone by death, or recently divorced, even recently broke up who just might not need to hear our sap.  Let’s be thoughtful regarding this as well.

And if you do get a gift, even if it’s a light up plastic flower from the corner convenience store, be thankful.

I’m hoping my love remembers the dark chocolate 🙂

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