From the inside out

Prov 31 30 1440x900

We often fail as parents. Although we love our children dearly, the truth is, we aren’t perfect. We make mistakes.  Since I’m older and one of the reasons I blog is to share something that might inspire, encourage or teach someone, I thought I’d share one of my failures.

One of the areas I missed the mark on was in putting too much emphasis on outer appearance.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I realize we want them to bathe, brush their teeth and look and smell at least somewhat approachable. This can be a feat in itself in those elementary years.

But, I was overly concerned with appearance. I didn’t realize I was doing this because I was verbalizing all the right things. Beauty is as beauty does, God looks upon the heart; out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks and what’s inside is what truly matters.

Here’s the quagmire……

While I was telling them all the right things, my actions were betraying my words. You see, I was standing in front of the mirror (in their presence because how often does a mom ever get alone time in the bathroom), saying, “Do I look fat in this?” while pointing out all of my imperfections. Effectively telling them one thing and showing them another.

Thankfully, by the help and grace of God, and the words of a very wise woman I stumbled upon on the radio one day, I realized this and began to concentrate more fully on the inside and kept my own insecurities to myself (for the most part, not always). Obviously, the reason I had struggled with this, was because it was also a personal struggle.

Although I do want to look nice and be healthy, my life no longer revolves around that. I have learned that I have a purpose in this life and it isn’t just to look pretty.

Concentrate on becoming the woman that God created you to be. If you are loving, kind and gracious, it will shine from the inside out. We’re all beautiful, in many different ways, but we are all also aging every moment. Beauty is indeed, fleeting. People will remember you, for WHO you were to them, not what you looked like.

Personally, I find myself praying for the ability to accept aging gracefully, to acknowledge that for every wrinkle, there are even more beautiful memories and experiences!

There is nothing wrong with taking care of ourselves and looking our best, but we can’t make this our God. It can’t become an obsession. I share this in case there are other mothers who can benefit from it, or girls or women who need to be reminded that they matter; their talents, their gifts and all of the wonderful things they bring to the lives of those around them.


  1. Excellent post and can I say “Hurrah” – fully said with all the Marines oomph behind it. I too have learned the hard way. It really came to light as my teenage daughter told me one day that she’d been taking diet pills and ONLY eating in front of me (and that was little as I knew she was trying to “watch” her weight) and that this had gone on for 2 months. A. It all started when her fellow teammates kept commenting on her “bubble butt” (let’s face it – many women will pay for that – but as a teenager she felt fat). B. I’m sure it didn’t help that I was constantly commenting about my gaining weight. C. How did I miss it? How did I not know that this was happening. Talk about feeling like a failure. All is well now…after many talks, many prayers between her, I and God, and lots of love. Thanks for sharing…hope my story will help other Moms too.

    • Haha, my son in law is a Marine 🙂 Thanks for your heartfelt comments and sharing such a personal experience. So glad all is well now; I think my girls came out of it relatively unscathed as well… We women have to stick together and encourage one another along! – God Bless!

  2. Reblogged this on Long walks and dark chocolate and commented:

    I posted this back in 2013, but I wanted to share it again.

  3. Amy Fouchea says:

    Always a woman of wisdom – I’m sporting my muffin top this summer and if I embarrass my family…. lol I will share this article with them! 😘

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