Ahh, a relaxing shower….HAH

Okay, so we all know if you’re expecting a call, the best place to wait for it would probably be in the shower, right (or at least the bathroom)?  No, of course it won’t come if you think of it that way.

However, it never fails, especially if I am home alone, enjoying the solitude and the free time, yes, the me time, that while I am in the shower, usually in the midst of shaving my legs or conditioning my hair, the phone will ring.

That horrid noise, breaking the peace, making you absolutely certain that this is THE call, the call of the big news you’ve been waiting for, or the call from a long lost friend, or, oh no, not that one, the call where your child has been injured at school.

The last is the worst, because for the remainder of the shower, you are entertaining usually ludicrous and sometimes gory and grisly ideas of what happened to them.  Did they just pass out?   Did they fall from the monkey bars and break a bone?  Did that bully hit them and they are missing their front teeth?  Oh, it just has to be something horrible.  These fears are greatly multiplied if a moment later the phone rings again, because then you just know…YOU KNOW….they have to reach you right away, as the situation is dire.  Sometimes, you even imagine someone at your door.

Just as you slice a hunk of meat from your leg because you are dragging the razor across the delicate skin way too speedily, the phone stops and the minutes seem like hours before you can get to the phone and read the caller i.d.  Or, you step out with suds dripping from your scalp, stinging your eyes so badly, that you can’t find the phone to check it.  If you are one of the clumsy ones, like I am (particularly at times of certain hormonal fluctuations), you may slip on all the water you’ve allowed to leak onto the floor and barely, by the grace of God, keep from injuring yourself.

Where is that phone anyway?  We have two of them and neither is ever in the proper place unless I have been at home long enough to take care of this mindboggling dilemma.  It’s mindboggling, because for the life of me, I cannot understand why NO ONE ELSE who lives here actively demonstrates the skill or ability to do the same.

You can guess what happens next.  I find the phone, after my world has been shaken up, my mind all set to all sort of imaginations.  It was not THE call, nor was it a long lost friend and nope, not the school number either, which I know by heart (like any self-proclaimed wonder woman mom would).

The number begins with 866…..a solicitor has done all of this.  Suffice it to say, there is a moment of anger, right before the relief.  And once again, all is quiet; all is right with my little world.