One step forward

Outside this morning, I remember being on my knees, in the dirt, pulling weeds.  I felt the slight pull from my incision site as I shifted positions and I was reminded how far I have come in just a few short weeks.  Mind you, as they passed, they felt like long grueling weeks.  Overwhelmed with thankfulness that I am over the worst of it, I sat back in the grass, listened to the birdsong and reflected.

I remember taking that first hesitant step.  It almost brought me to my knees, but I took it.  And, you don’t take one step without anticipating taking another and another.  That is how it’s been; a few more each day, less pain as the steps increase and healing is progressing.

As I reflect on my recent healing journey, I can’t help but see the parallels in emotional and spiritual healing.  We get wounded and we can either take steps toward healing or let fear of further pain stop us in our tracks, immobilizing us.  If we stay that way long enough, body and soul begin to atrophy.  

We often try to shelter ourselves from the unknown, behind our walls of fear keeping us from stepping into the blessed light of healing.

I’m limping now, but I’m moving.  The walk isn’t pretty, but it’s forward.  My steps are sometimes tentative, but step by step I am leaving this pain behind.  

The physical wound is healing, there isn’t as much fear of it splitting open again.  New, strong skin is weaving a covering over what was once a gaping wound.  I’ve covered it some, especially in the beginning for protection, but I’ve also let the sun shine on it.  Importantly, I haven’t touched it.  You can’t keep touching a wound, and expect it to heal.

Now that I am edging closer to full recovery, my progress is greater every day.  I don’t talk about it as much.  I have shed the crutches and the scooter.  It’s all quickly transforming into a memory, albeit one I have learned much from.

So, I think about what I have learned and the main points are three-fold; I need others to help me when I’m at my weakest and I must let them, empathy for others who have gone through something similar and understanding about this particular struggle.  Going forward, if I am wise, I will remember the lesson and encourage others.

Of course, above I have been speaking of my recent foot surgery, but as usual, if you keep your heart open, God will open your eyes and impart knowledge of deeper things through your struggles.

If you are going through any kind of pain, be it emotional, spiritual or physical, just take a step; one small baby step toward recovery and healing.  God will meet you where you are if you will let Him.

Blessings, 

Lisa

“Go back?” he thought. “No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!” So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.” 
― J.R.R. Tolkien