Turkey Troubles

I wrote this a couple of years ago and I hope I have not misrepresented all the turkeys out there!

IF I WERE A TURKEY
If I were a turkey I’d start training in April
to keep from becoming a Thanksgiving staple
In May you would catch me honing my skill
on how to avoid those missiles that kill
There’d be classes on dodging a sharpshooter’s aim
and how to outrun those arrows that maim
In June I would learn how to camo my feathers
and to quickly blend in no matter terrain or weather
In July and August under hot scorching sun,
the training would continue, none of it fun.
In September things would get really hard
this is the month I am banned from the yard
Any fat has to go, that fact remains,
No more picking at insects or gorging on grains.
October would bring full starvation mode for me
I can’t afford to look at all healthy you see
When the dreaded month arrives, if I’ve escaped the fate of many,
you would think I could relax and enjoy and eat plenty
But no! December looms as dark as the winter,
and there are some who would have me for their Christmas dinner.
So still I’ll lie low and eat less than I desire,
to keep myself, another year from of the fire.
In January I will gobble and let down my guard
and enjoy my dinner and prance through the yard.

Written By:  Lisa