Family and Home – Long walks and dark chocolate

Come, Elegant Autumn

September 8, 2016 4 Comments

12029681_10153651247701763_6600053614237868420_o

I’ve said before that God created seasons because He knew we were fickle creatures who would get bored easily. My favorite one is Autumn so when I saw that the Daily Prompt was Elegant, I thought about the distinct beauty and grace of the season and wrote down a few of my very passionate feelings about the coming of Fall.

Come, elegant autumn and show off your style. I have been eager for your dignified arrival for months now.

Envelop me like a comfortable sweater and display for me the beautiful foggy nights by your harvest moon.

Tantalize me with the classic aroma of pumpkin and spice and not just on Thanksgiving Day.

Surprise me with briskly changing foliage before the colorful leaves are poised to plunge gracefully to the cool earthy ground at the first windy day.

Bring on your slight chill so we can forage in our closets for the stylish leggings, cozy boots and colorful scarves.

Let my eyes feast on the beautiful cornucopias, pine cones and amber colored candles smelling like apple cinnamon.

And be content to stay for a good long visit, you wondrous golden visitor.

Related stories: Come Autumn and especially October and Goodbye July

Filed Under: Family and Home, Uncategorized Tagged With: Autumn, cinnamon, Daily Prompt, fall, leaves, pumpkin, Thanksgiving

Just give me my binky

September 7, 2016 5 Comments

We sat there in the dark watching her fight sleep, contorting her little face every which way trying to hold on to her binky when it threatens to fall. A binky is otherwise known as a pacifier for those of you who may not have heard it referred to that way. She loves that thing. I’ve heard folks voice their opinions on them both pro and con and have probably stated my own in the past and likely in a negative way to some poor new parent. This is something else I have learned; don’t judge the child still sucking a binky or maybe still wearing diapers. I don’t know their journey.

13912343_280314879008026_5289825603233603215_n Cali will be 5 months old on the 13^th of this month and all she knows up until now is the inside of a room without outside windows. It is mostly white and very sterile. Thankfully, we can dress up the crib a bit and bring some toys in, but it’s just not home. We can’t roll around in the floor or fall asleep with her nestled on our chest. We have to wear yellow gowns to hold her and she is still attached to several lines or tubes.

I try to imagine her discharge day and the way her little eyes will behold so much newness in one day. She will leave the room she has grown up in thus far, see sunlight, ride in a car, see her own home and sleep in a new bed. As anxious as I am for all of this to occur, my heart goes out to these little ones making these big adjustments. They are used to the whiteness, the machines, the beeping and blinking and the cries of other little ones. Maybe I’m just emotional because this is my little granddaughter, but it’s something I have never once thought about until now.

I am determined to learn from this experience, resolved to be a better person because of it, and adamant about increasing in compassion and empathy for others. This brings to mind the verse in Hebrews, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin.”

We should be able to empathize with the weaknesses of others and consider their voyage through this life and the ups and downs and tests and turmoil. Maybe I’m being too transparent when I admit how blind to the predicaments of others I have been in the past. Perhaps some of you will think less of me because of it. But, when I decided to have a blog, I always intended to openly share experiences, always hoping my stories would help shed light on someone else’s path.

I am sincerely grateful to God for every opportunity I get to show love and compassion to someone else, even though I still often fail Him. I still fail in recognizing needs or simply stay too busy to do all that I would like to. You know, part of loving others starts with really listening, taking time enough to know a need exists. We are a busy people and we have to make a point to slow down and be attentive, even in our own families.

PS – Cali is doing much better. They removed her PICC line this week. Her bottle feeding has increased greatly as tube feeding has decreased. She is up to 8 lbs 1 oz and if she continues to do well on feeds and continues to gain weight, our discharge date will be closer 🙂

Filed Under: Christian, Family and Home, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: binky, children, empathy, grandchildren, hospitals, love, NICU, pacifier

Daily Prompt: Plop

September 6, 2016 2 Comments

The Daily Prompt was unusual but I gave it a shot anyway. My offering for “Plop”.

This old guy waits patiently for my husband to come in from fishing

As the leftover bait plopped into the water, the pelicans fought to be the first to snatch it up. You would think they hadn’t been trolling for fish all day long the way they knock each other out of the way to be first. I watched as the winner greedily snatched the bait and marveled as it seemed to threaten to burst through the elastic looking pouch under his bill. God’s creatures never cease to amaze me and they always remind me of His sense of humor.

I walked barefoot over to my favorite chair; the one I have sat and watched what I call “my” cardinals and mockingbird in for a couple of years now. The thing is… I haven’t seen any of them in months. The only birds I see frequently besides the water birds are crows and doves. The big black crows drive me nuts with their incessant cawing as they eat the stale bread a neighbor throws out for them daily. Lately, the doves are the lone visitors to my bird feeder and they are extremely skittish.

My friend said that she caught a snake eating a cardinal under her bird feeder the other day and so I mentioned this to my husband. He said, “Oh yeah, I’ve seen that rat snake hiding in the shrub right by the feeder. He blends right in”. I’m aghast that he knew this was going on and didn’t do something about it! He could have run the snake off or something, right?!?

In light of this disturbing news, I googled it and lo and behold, feeders do often attract snakes which makes sense now that I think about it. Now I have a decision to make. Do I continue to provide seed and hope the birds are stealthy enough to avoid Mr. Rat Snake or do I remove the feeders entirely for fear of unintentionally luring the poor birds to their death? The very shrub the evil thing likes to hide in will soon be sprouting berries that are particularly loved by the mockingbirds. If the same mockingbird visits that did last year, he was mean and territorial. Maybe he will run the snake off to another yard.

I’ve spent hours in my chair, enjoying the birds while I spend time with Jesus and bask in the sunshine or watch the sunset. This will be a difficult change for me. I’m saddened even thinking about removing the feeder and tossing the rest of the seed out in the open. Maybe someone has an idea that will save the day.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Photography, Uncategorized Tagged With: bird watching, birds, brown pelicans, cardinals, Daily Prompt, snakes

A Few of My Favorite Things

August 17, 2016 Leave a Comment

Inspiration from the Discover Challenge: The Poetry of List Making

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

Rising before dawn to have coffee and spend time with Jesus
Reading in bed until I am drowsy enough to fall asleep
Bear hugs from the ones I love
Good morning or good night texts from my daughters
A nice meal shared with friends or family around a table
Sitting outside in the shade enjoying God’s creation
Reliving old and making new memories with my girls
The hauntingly beautiful sound of a hooting owl outside my window
Time spent in worship or fellowship with my church family
Sunset boat rides and fishing with the love of my life
Travelling anywhere with someone I love along for the trip
My quiet devotion time in my favorite chair
The satisfaction of a full day’s work
Anything and everything to do with my granddaughters
Autumn and falling leaves, cooler temperatures and pumpkin everything

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: favorites, list making, lists, love, special, things I love

Cali; the gift that keeps on giving

July 28, 2016 6 Comments

13254081_10154138079501763_6115970640996603979_n

The prompt was “Crisis” and since NICU parents deal with this all the time, I thought this was appropriate.

My daughter and I had a great day with our little Cali yesterday. I blogged before about Cali’s premature arrival and the complications she has faced since. She is 3 ½ months old and we still don’t have a homecoming date.

We stayed in Miami last night so we were with her until around 9pm and my daughter even got to help give her baby a bath for the second time ever. It’s tricky with a PIC line. Also, when you live over 80 miles away and spend most of your days here, and the baths are given at night, it’s tougher to participate. Last night was the first time I had ever seen my beautiful little granddaughter’s skinny little behind. What a sight to behold!

13873095_269681100071404_8467463850780047871_n

All Clean!!

We got up this morning and had breakfast, anxious to arrive at the hospital. In good spirits, I parked the car and I chose the stairs as my daughter took the elevator. We usually park on the 5^th floor but I always beat her by taking the stairs. And believe me; I need the exercise with the delectable guava pastries (stress eating) that Nicklaus Children’s Hospital serves. Leave it to me to know about the food.

There was a long line at the check in and since I had left my monthly pass in the car (and I wasn’t going back outside and up those stairs or in the sweltering parking lot elevator) I had to wait in it. Impatiently, Morgan flashed her pass and went on up to the 2^nd floor, eager to see Cali.

When I arrived in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) a few minutes later, I could tell by Morgan’s face that something was wrong. The nurse explained that Cali had begun vomiting last night and her heart rate had dropped a little a few times. This can mean so many things, but they were immediately stopping all food and doing blood work to rule out infection. They asked us to leave so they could insert a second tube in her nose (opposite nostril from feeding tube) to pull excess air from her stomach.

My eyes welled up and in all seriousness, I wanted to curl up on the floor and cry. However motherhood kicked in and I knew I had to be strong for my baby girl. We went to the waiting room until the procedures were over and then my baby girl wanted to hold her baby girl. I sat in a chair beside her, more for moral support than anything. Cali slept and I looked around the room, which currently is home to approximately 7 babies; I overheard them say they have a total of 42 patients in NICU right now, which I understand is a lot for them.

12472489_270032600036254_3646072151503921002_n

Morgan and Cali

There are babies in much more serious condition than Cali’s. There are older ones, younger ones, bigger and smaller. Some cry a lot and some you never hear a peep out of (at least when I’m there). I pray for all of them and I ache for the parents and what they are going through.

They come here from all over, show their ID or passes, push buttons so doors will open and wash their hands thoroughly multiple times per day. They sit in a room that is filled with beeping machines that have the power to give them quite a scare and they listen and try to understand as doctors and nurses reveal plans and strategies. Some of their children are growing out of the clothes and diapers they got at baby showers and some have even outgrown some of the toys.

Yet, they face each crisis with a strength that I had never seen before, having had two healthy, and delivered at-term babies. I look at them and not only compassion floods my soul, but also respect and admiration. I will shed tears in my prayers over this little world I didn’t realize existed until April 13^th. Sure, I knew there were sick babies, but I had no idea of the big picture.

I have focused on one small group of breaking hearts in my post, yet there are hundreds of others. More people going through this life with a heavy load and dealing with things we can’t imagine unless we have been there.

I know I’ve said this over and over, but let’s give people the benefit of the doubt because we truly don’t know. That lady in line in front of you with the blank look on her face who doesn’t hear the cashier saying, “Next, please”, could have been my daughter this morning. Be patient with her.

We are praying and believe that Cali will bounce back from this step backwards and come home quickly and give her doctor’s a shock. This journey is increasing our faith and our strength and I thank God for that. God will continue to provide the strength, mercy and grace for each and every day. He always does!

I would also be remiss if I didn’t thank the amazing team of doctors, nurses and all other staff at Nicklaus. We couldn’t be in better, more caring hands and I’m truly grateful. Oh, and a special kudos also to the cafeteria staff for their tasty creations and their smiles of concern. We also have the best friends and family ever and our community has rallied around us like a great wall of love and protection. There is NO way to begin to thank them all appropriately!

Filed Under: Christian, Family and Home, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: Cali, empathy, Family, God, love, Nicklaus, NICU

Forward progress

July 19, 2016 3 Comments

13511042_10154214939926763_6505748762857644676_n Was the game called Sorry where you move game piece forward or back based on where you land? The other day my daughter said, “Two steps forward and ten steps back” and I visualized that game. She was referring to her baby’s progress this week after three months in the NICU. She was frustrated, exhausted both physically and mentally and was exaggerating just a tad. It would have been easy for me to say something trite like, “Well, it could be worse”, or “All in good time”, but I knew it was better to just stay silent and try to rub the knot out of her neck. I know my daughter and her patience level was waxing thin on that particular day.

I have learned that sometimes it is just better to say nothing. I should say that I am learning this, because I certainly haven’t mastered it. I have an entire library of “go to” clichés that are completely useless or even irritating in situations that I fail miserably at recognizing on occasion. Sometimes a smile or a hug or just your being there does more to ease the angst of the weary than a thousand words could ever do. Often, just listening is all that is needed; we don’t always have to feel compelled to “fix” things. This is hard for me, I will admit. I want to give advice, answers, help resolve and implement ideas! But, as I said, I am learning.

I don’t have the time or inclination to delve into the multitude of issues that I’ve been faced with in the last few months. However, suffice it to say that I understand being too tired to talk or too mentally exhausted to answer a simple question without emotions turning into teardrops. With that said, I know in whom I trust and I can approach my trials and tribulations without fear and with faith. This doesn’t mean I won’t get bone tired sometimes and need to seek a quiet peaceful place to re-fresh myself for the next battle. (Yes, there will be more this side of heaven.)

What always compels me though to think I have to have an answer or suggestion for every tough situation I see others going through? I don’t know. Most of the time, I truly believe it’s that I really do want to help and soothe someone’s heart and I’m just not always sure of how best to accomplish that. I do know that I had NO idea what people were going through when they spent months at a hospital with their child until our precious Cali was born.

Sheepishly, I think back at how silly or even heartless some of my pre-Cali comments must have sounded to others. The thing is, we really do not know what anyone is going through unless we have walked in those same shoes and even then, experiences still vary from person to person even in the same scenario.

It amazes me that even in the tough times; God teaches us if we let Him. As we go through pain, if we follow His lead, we can grow in the midst of it. We can come out on the other side with a better understanding of mercy, with more empathy.

The other day as we pulled into the hospital park lot, my daughter (who still needs to learn patience) was complaining about the SUV in front of us. She was anxious to get up to the 2^nd floor and love on her baby, and this car was too slow, and in the way. She spouted off something negative and I found myself right smack dab in the middle of a teaching moment. I gently reminded her that the person in the car could be arriving at the hospital for the first time with a sick child, or leaving alone, never to bring theirs home. She got my point and I have noticed her growing in grace through all of this.

So, have patience with me and I will try to have more patience with you. Forgive me when I say all the wrong things or end up doing nothing because I didn’t know what to do. As for me, I pray to practice giving people the benefit of the doubt, to recognize that their day might be going worse than mine and to try not to offer up trite, commonplace sentiments when a hug or a prayer might serve them better.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: children, empathy, love, mercy, Patience

Daily Prompt: Journey

July 13, 2016 1 Comment

Here’s a quick poem for today’s prompt….Journey

corduroy

Journey

I’m going on a journey

Don’t be surprised to see me smile

Please don’t try to bring me back

I’ll be gone a little while

I’ll back up from today

To a time when they were small

I’ll put years in reverse

Like they never passed at all

I’ll enjoy the chubby fists

And little chins covered with goo

The bumbling first steps

And baths and bedtimes too

The sleepless nights year after year

For one reason or another

From leaking diapers to broken hearts

Mom helped them to recover

This worn and yellowed photo album

Is bursting at the seams

It overflows with memories

Of their accomplishments and dreams

Yes, I’ve reminisced a while

So I’ll journey homeward very soon

Oops, I’ve been distracted now

With Corduroy and Goodnight Moon

Filed Under: Family and Home, Poetry, Uncategorized Tagged With: books for children, children, empty nest, Family, missing you, poetry, silly poems

Life is a saga

May 22, 2016 3 Comments

FullSizeRender (10)

Life is a saga, a long and complicated story with many details. It doesn’t matter who you are, if you live very long at all this applies. Our life begins on page one, with our birth and if you have ever been in a room of women discussing childbirth, that can be a saga in itself. We live, we learn, we grow and we change.

We all have a story but it’s what we do with our stories that can make a difference. I was discussing this a little bit in my Sunday school class this morning. We go through things sometimes that make no sense, seasons filled with trials and tribulations. They are going to touch each one of us, but oh the difference when we allow God to teach us through them instead of sinking and wallowing in a big warm pile of self-pity.

I’m not saying not to grieve or that it’s wrong to cry, but when we’re done, get up and move on and let what we have learned, even when it was a tough, teach someone else. Some of the things I have been through in my life have allowed me to counsel or encourage other mothers or wives who are now going through the same thing. Can God really take that year of weeping and hurting and use it to impart healing in someone else? Why, yes He can and I can attest to having been on the giving and receiving end of both trial and help.

At times we try to pretend like we don’t know the meaning of grief or affliction and I’m not sure why, as we all are familiar with its sting. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, as long as we are this side of heaven, we will encounter difficulty. It’s how we deal with it that sets us apart.

Wouldn’t it be great to know that your saga didn’t end at your death because even after your demise other lives were still touched because of you? I think we all want to leave this world knowing we have imparted wisdom, hope and truth into others.

I was cleaning out a closet the other day and found an old journal of my mother’s. I’m sure I saw it and positive that I would have looked inside near the time of her death. The other day coming across the old treasure again I opened it up and saw that old familiar handwriting on the yellowing front page. For some reason I leafed through the other pages and buried in the middle were about five more pages that I had never seen before. They were written in and around December of 95’ and into the first months of January 96’. Mom died in June of 96’ so these “new” words were like gold to me. They were a new discovery of some of her personal thoughts in her final months. More of the saga of her much shortened life and they meant so much to me. They touched me and as I read them, I again felt her faith and strength. She imparted another precious gift to me almost twenty years after she met Jesus.

I was blessed to have a mother whose wisdom and guidance has served me well over the course of my life. Whether we are mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters or friends, we too can choose to let our stories help us grow into better people and use their lessons to love on others. Isn’t that part of what love is all about?

Daily Prompt: Saga

Filed Under: Christian, Family and Home, Inspirational, Uncategorized Tagged With: Daily Post, Daily Prompt, Family, God, life, love, saga, stories

Daily Prompt: Pensive

May 19, 2016 6 Comments

12183926_10153666325746763_7447737793838516270_o The Daily Prompt was pensive; below is my humble offering….

She sat there, dreamily staring out the window; both hands around her favorite cup, which was still warm from the hot tea he had watched her pour earlier. She was in a pensive mood.

He was familiar with her moods and he’d seen this particular one more after the kids were gone. She would stare out the window, a hint of sadness on her face, sometimes wiping a tear from her eye. He was pretty sure he understood how she felt, but sometimes he wasn’t quite sure how to help. She had also mentioned some lady issue that started with an “m” that made her a little more moody on some days.

He walked over to her chair and embraced her in a hug and said, “Are you missing the girls, babe?” She said, “Yes” with a shaky voice. He gently pulled her up from her favorite chair and she melted into the arms that had held her close for over 20 years.

After a long embrace he asked, “How about we go across the bay and catch dinner?” The smile twinkled in her eyes before it reached her lips and he knew he had brought her back from the walk down nostalgia lane. She ran to grab a jacket and he smiled knowing he had been her hero once again.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Uncategorized Tagged With: Daily Post, Daily Prompt, hero, love, marriage

You can’t change their spots

May 12, 2016 3 Comments

My love and I in 94′

Since I like to impart knowledge to the younger crowd, I listen to their conversations with great attentiveness to things that bother them. When I hear them discussing relationships, my ears perk up because I have been married for 22 years and let’s just say I’ve learned a lot. So, in an attempt to save someone a little heartache or just to make you think, I wanted to share some thoughts. If you are currently in a relationship, it would behoove you to take great care to notice the things that irritate you now. Once you have been married for a few years, they will irritate you more. That cute little snuffling snore will become something you despise. Trust me on this one. I write more about it at Sleeping with the Enemy .

A good marriage is work; it doesn’t just happen and it’s not 50/50 like so many say; it requires each giving 100% for the best shot at making it work. Because it isn’t easy, you should be careful when you begin to consider a spouse; someone you intend to spend your life with (because in my opinion that should be the goal at the onset). If you are looking at it as something you can jump out of at a whim, you’re going in with the wrong attitude. Unfortunately, that seems to be how many younger folks see it, but I digress.

One of the things to consider is the fact that you cannot change someone. They are who and what they are and no amount of whining, griping, threatening, withholding or pouting is going to change that. That will only serve to make both of you more miserable. So, if you already have a growing list of the many things you do not like about your “love”, you better think long and hard about this.

When you’ve been married a couple of years and the baby has been up all night, the ac is out and your checkbook is in the negative, it takes patience and stick-to-itiveness. At times like these, when your knight in shining armor has let his facial hair get all prickly and he is sitting in his favorite spot in his boxers all puffed up like toad, you have to dig deep, sister. It’s not always like the movies…wait, it’s rarely ever like the movies.

What I am trying to convey is, don’t settle now thinking that your Mr. (or Mrs.) with the problem(s) is going to change once you marry, or once you have a baby, or once they get a job they like. If they have an addiction problem, they are going to carry it into the marriage and, in my opinion, keep it until they allow God to deliver them. If your “girl” has a spending problem, and you are very frugal, think twice or you might be paying off credit card debt for decades. If they aren’t romantic and you are sappy and schmaltzy and not happy if you aren’t having dinner by candlelight, think it through. I hear way too many of you young ones say, “Things will change when X happens”. No, they won’t. Don’t fool yourself.

No marriage is perfect, but figure out what your deal breakers are. I am saying this as a woman with a failed first marriage that lasted 10 years and a 2^nd one that has lasted 22. I love my husband dearly and I am grateful that we can talk things through and we have overcome many obstacles and have been through many storms together. We had family values in common and that is important. We don’t believe in going to bed mad so we don’t let things fester and get bitter over them. We are experts in the art of compromise. I would be remiss if I didn’t give glory to God for giving me the faith, grace and love to be a godly wife as I’m sure things wouldn’t have gone as well without His divine hand.

Remember what real love is and ask yourself if this is the kind of love you have. Obviously we all fail at some of this at times, but following is a good set of scriptures to meditate on and have been a source of strength for me in the darker hours. In the words of St Paul – Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.