Family and Home – Long walks and dark chocolate

Fiddler crabs and tomato gravy

June 29, 2015 11 Comments

Good afternoon, friends. I would like your help with something. The following is an excerpt from what I hope might possibly become my first novel. Can you take a peek and share your thoughts, please? If you read below, would you want to read more?

Susie’s bare feet sunk into the soft, cool mud, as she chased the fiddler crab back into the hole she had watched it emerge from. Her footprints made her think of the plaque on Granny’s wall. Granny said the plaque reminded her that when things got tough, Jesus carried her. Susie smiled as she thought of Jesus carrying Granny.

Granny was standing in the mud a few feet away from her, the hem of her pleated skirt damp from their adventure. Her silver hair was still tucked neatly in a bun and she was patiently watching Susie chase the crabs, as she dabbed at her face with her hanky. That’s what granny called her embroidered handkerchiefs and she always had one in her pocket or her bible.

Granny never rushed Susie the way some grown ups did. Most of the time, when Granny wasn’t “carrying a burden”, she acted just like one of the kids. She was always willing to play games, dance, draw, sing or go on treasure hunts and she always made it fun and encouraged imagination. Granny could turn her rocking chair into a pirate ship and Susie and her brother and sister would walk the plank on books with throw pillows masquerading as sharks waiting in the deep, murky water.

When it was nearly 5:00pm, it was time to get dinner ready. Papa like to eat early, go to bed early and rise early. Tonight, Granny was cooking pork chops and tomato gravy. She had made a fruit salad earlier and left it in the fridge to chill. Susie liked the sound of pork chops and fruit salad, but she would have to make sure she didn’t get a very big serving of the rice and tomato gravy. She liked the taste, but the big chunks of the tomato were just too much. She wished granny had made brown gravy instead.

Granny and Papa didn’t mind what you ate, but they sure didn’t like wasting. Susie thought that in their book, a wasteful person must be as bad as a thief. Mom said it was because they had lived during the Great Depression. That was when banks closed and no one had much money, so they were very careful. Mom and Dad didn’t like waste either, but it didn’t seem to bother them as much as it did Gran and Papa.

Susie didn’t care though; she just tried very hard not to waste. She loved to be at Granny’s more than anywhere else in the world, although she felt a little guilty about that sometimes and would never have told her mom and dad. There was a peacefulness at Granny’s that she just didn’t always feel anywhere else.

Daily Prompt: Smell you Later

June 4, 2015 5 Comments

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Smell You Later.”

Humans have very strong scent memory. Tell us about a smell that transports you.

In the late 70s, Cinnabar was a very popular scent and one of my mom’s favorites. It was strong, spicy scent, with a woodsy, cinnamon smell. It lingered. Thankfully, my nose was more tolerant back then and I enjoyed the smell. Allergies began to assault me in my late 20s and now my finicky nose can only tolerate the lightest scents.

My mom, my sister and I, and my aunt and two of my cousins all wore Cinnabar at some point during the late 70s and early 80s and I will never smell it without being whisked away to my teenage years.

We would spray it on before any of our frequent outings to the movies, roller skating or dinner. I would imagine that when we were all together, as we often were, that we unknowingly wreaked havoc on many poor unsuspecting noses.

I don’t smell it often, but when I do it brings a smile to my face and the realization of how blessed I was to have all of them in my life. I knew it then, but not in the way I know it now. Sometimes I think I will order a bottle so I can sniff it at will, but then that would take away the fun of my chance meetings with the lovely Cinnabar.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: cinnabar, Family, scent

Things that happen in small towns with good people

May 19, 2015 6 Comments

This afternoon I don’t have too much on the agenda; trying to write and getting sides ready for dinner. My husband will be cooking hamburgers and corn on the cob on the grill, so I’m just responsible for the potatoes. He came in to ask me if we had buns and I looked up wondering how he could have forgotten that he ate the last ones a few days ago. I just assumed we were having sans buns or using regular bread. He promptly left to go to the local supermarket to get buns and run another errand and I took a call from my eldest who was excited to tell me some news about some of her own writing and blogging.

I heard a knock on my door and opened it, phone still to my ear, and three of my favorite people were outside. When your kids have busy schedules and live hundreds of miles away, it’s hard to hang up early when they call. One of them said, “We brought you buns”. Now, this particular woman is so incredible, I figured that somehow she just knew my needs this afternoon. But lo and behold, they had passed my husband and stopped to talk to him. When he told them where he was going and why, they explained they had just purchased the last package of buns at the market. What to do when you live 30 miles from a regular grocery store? Well, my hubby said, “you need to give me two of those”. So they, being the selfless, giving people that they are, did just that. Since he had another errand to run, they delivered the buns right to my front door. This did not surprise me at all out of this family. They are all kind, gracious and supportive and always ready with a smile to help make your day better.

As they stood on my steps fighting mosquitoes, I did invite them in, but they declined. They chose to go walk out back and look at the water instead, seeing that I was on the phone. I came back in, killed a deer fly with my kitchen towel and sat down and smiled (yes, the towel is now in the laundry). I feel bad that I wasn’t more insistent on them coming in, especially after they delivered buns!

I asked my daughter if she caught all of the conversation. She laughed and I filled her in on the rest of the details. She said, “well that was a cute and interesting story”, so I figured if she thought so, you might too 🙂

And to the Lewis family, I love you all and you are amazing and I hope you had enough buns left for yourselves!!

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: friendship, grilling, hamburgers, sharing

A night owl but not by choice

May 18, 2015 2 Comments

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “To Sleep, Perchance to Dream.”

Sleep is one-third of our lives: write a post about it. Do you love naps? Have trouble falling alseep? Wish you could remember your dreams? Remember something especially vivid? Snuggle under a blanket, or throw the windows wide open? Meditate on sleep.

Ahh, sleep. Something I think about many times a day, as I yawn (and I just made myself yawn by thinking about it). A self-confessed morning person, sleeping in for me means 6:30 or 7:00 am at the very latest. This is great, I love the morning; the coffee, the sun rise, the dew on the ground. Now, if my body would just cooperate on the sleeping part, things would be great.

I have good intentions; I try to go to bed before ten; you know, the actual lying down part. Since my alarm goes off at 5:30 on most mornings, 9:30 should be the goal for slumber, providing I am aiming for a full 8 hours. There are times when I can fall asleep pretty fast, but if my husband comes to bed later, or is watching t.v., I will wake up. I am a very light sleeper; always have been. Often, I wake up when a coconut falls and hits our dock outside, or if the neighbor’s dog barks or if a helicopter flies over (which creeps me out anyway at night).

On a good night after being awakened, I can fall back to sleep in about an hour. Well, I could if it weren’t for the other problem. My husband is out like a light and can sleep through a hurricane, but all the while, he is snoring. Yes, I know I can get up and go to another room but then I’m looking at another hour to get settled. Since I have written about snoring before; a fictional story in That’s absurd and the real deal in Sleeping with the Enemy I won’t elaborate further about that struggle here.

I tell myself that the one nap a week I allow myself, on Sunday afternoons, somehow makes up for it, but I know that isn’t true. The only other time I nap is if I’m sick.

Tonight, as I turn down the thermostat and snuggle under the covers, I will dream (while I’m awake) of a full night’s sleep; the kind where you close your eyes and they don’t open again until morning, the kind I don’t remember ever having, although I’m sure I did in my younger days. For now, it’s time to start watching the clock and attempting once again to “go to bed earlier”, a plan I’ve been working towards for months now.

And yes, I do have dreams too, but the ones I remember are few and far between and often feature snakes so we won’t go there. Sweet dreams!

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: morning person, sleep, slumber, snoring

What to wear?!?

May 14, 2015 1 Comment

Image found at http://www.etsy.com/listing/116451631/1960s-girls-sewing-pattern-simplicity

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “The Clothes (May) Make the (Wo)man.”

How important are clothes to you? Describe your style, if you have one, and tell us how appearance impacts how you feel about yourself.

To think of when I first developed a love for clothes I have to flashback to mid-1970’s and think about wine colored gauchos, a leather shoulder bag and a mood ring. I was just a kid, but I remember feeling “put together” and a general sense of well being when I was dressed nicely, as opposed to my “play clothes”.

Unfortunately, I went through middle and high school and my younger adult years putting way too much emphasis on how I looked and what I had on. I was influenced, like most of us, by my peers and the current trend in Glamour magazine. Oh, how I wish I could make young girls and women understand that their heart and what’s inside is so much more important. And that most of what they try to live up to in a magazine isn’t even real.

I even failed my own girls sometimes when they were younger, by spending so much time in front of the mirror second guessing an outfit, or lamenting about a zit or perceived weight gain. I didn’t fully realize the impact that my self-absorption and self-consciousness could have had on them.

It’s important to instill confidence in our daughters but it should come from who they are, who God created them to be, not how they look or what they wear. I tried, but I don’t think I hammered this point in all the way.

My current style would have to be classic/feminine. I’ve never been bullied by current trends. If I don’t like it, I’m not wearing it. I wasn’t pleased at all to see high waist-ed pants come back and I’ll never have wings again, wear crocs or spend a lot of money on fake nails. I’m not interested in advertising for Coach or any of the other logo-ridden accessories, but if I truly love it, I’ll buy it. Again, it’s motive. In the past, I would buy something expensive just to flaunt it; now I see the error of my ways.

Modesty is important to me as I want to be remembered as a reflection of Christ and not someone who is overly consumed with themselves. Do I always succeed in that quest? No, but I’m learning.

I still love to buy clothes and I try to always look nice but my heart’s motives are different now. Of course, I am courting 50, and with that comes a strength and wisdom I just didn’t have at 20 (or 30). As long as I honor God and my husband is happy, no other opinion really matters to me.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Clothing, fashion, modesty, raising girls, self-absorbed

Macaroni noodles and boo-boos

May 10, 2015 3 Comments

Thank you mom for all that you taught me and all of the things you did to show your love.

Thank you for wearing necklaces lovingly crafted from macaroni noodles; for hanging countless masterpieces on the fridge, for making me believe I was gifted, talented, beautiful and brilliant, for all the boo-boo’s you made better (and yes that DID sting);for watching all the “plays” and dance routines and listening to the unending songs I made up as I went and never once making me feel stupid.

I thank you for your smile, you know, the one that told me I was your world. I thank you for your long nails that gently scratched my itches, even when I was dirty. I thank you for the soft, gentle voice that read to me and explained life to me. I thank you for all of the meals you crafted and I apologize for the many times I stubbornly refused to eat something “gross”.

Thank you for never leaving my side when I needed you, for all the coddling when I was sick, for wiping my nose countless times before I could do it myself, for all the diapering, wiping and cleaning duties, which I know you did the majority of.

I thank you for the dresses you made, the many times you baked after everyone else was asleep, so that my class would have cupcakes for a party, for the way you knew how to stretch a dollar in lean times to feed and clothe all three of us. Thanks for lying across my bed with me when I was a teenager and making me feel comfortable to tell you the truth, knowing that even if there were repercussions, they would be fair.

Thank you for never forgetting a birthday, an important event or to tell me you loved me. Thank you for your prayers and for teaching me about God, and for teaching your children morals and values.

Most of all, I thank you for being you; the wonderful, beautiful woman I called Mother. I miss you!

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Mom, mom and daughter relationship, Mother's Day

Lift them up

May 9, 2015 1 Comment

rain drops on hisbicus

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Cringe-Worthy.”

Do you feel uncomfortable when you see someone else being embarrassed? What’s most likely to make you squirm?

It bothers me to see anyone being embarrassed, but I think the worst I have ever been confronted with is when a man or woman belittles their spouse in front of others. It makes me sick. Sure, we all tease sometimes, and depending on how close you are with friends or family, there may be times you tease a little more due to histories together.

I was in Walmart the other day and a married (judging from the fact they both had on rings) couple were shopping for cards. He spoke to her with the most condescending tone and looked at her like she was beneath him. She was trying to find the perfect card and he was obviously tired of waiting. It was almost as if he knew I could hear him and was enjoying that fact that he could humiliate her in public. I was embarrassed for her and hurt for the pain she must be feeling.

When I see this situation, I can’t help but wonder what makes someone so bitter and miserable that they treat people the way they do. I realize that my glimpse into their lives was just that; a mere glimpse. To give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he was having a bad day, or had a medical condition or there was some logical excuse for treating her so poorly.

For the others, the ones who make it a habit and lifestyle of it, I pray that they would realize that others are not impressed, and that their behavior is not even remotely acceptable. Often, people do this because they are so insecure themselves and they are trying to prove they are in control.

I am thankful for a husband who shows love and affection and appreciation for me and never tries to humiliate me. We are here to lift each other up and support one another. And in keeping with my mother’s day theme this year, I will again express thanks to my mother who taught me better than this. She always taught me that you never disrespect someone you love, especially not in public. If you have something to discuss that could escalate, save it for later. Don’t put someone you love down, life them up.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: condescending, life people up, love, love for spouse, marriage, staying married

My heart

May 2, 2015 3 Comments

Ashley and Morgan; then and now

Chubby little hands, wet with slobber, getting caught in my hair

Up half the night rocking you with a prayer until the fever subsided

Chasing remnants of applesauce around your tiny lips with a tiny spoon

The spoon, now airborne and not because I’m pretending it’s a plane

Bath time; soggy toys, towels and floors until you were like ten

Drying a wiggle worm until the towel drops and you run away giggling

Treating Boo boos with kisses and rug rat bandages and Neosporin

Riding bicycles and scooters and go karts and four-wheelers

Going to Little league, Church camp, school plays and sleepovers

Checking out library books and Disney movies and The Nutcracker

Reminding daily about baths and brushing teeth and hair

Blond hair whipping in the wind as we caught our share of fish

Driving cars and blasting music and growing up too fast

Never-ending showers that leave the rest of us mad and cold

Little Miss Know It All who doesn’t really have a clue

Late nights, some fights, long talks and lots of prayers

High school, sports, dances and dates

Increasing beauty, decreasing days before graduation and then…..

Empty nest, quiet house, too much time on our hands

Phone calls, holiday visits and lots of texts

Agree to disagree, offer advice but realize my limits

Heart breaks when you feel pain or struggle

Loving you long distance, looking forward to your next visit

Missing you, lots of reminiscing, tears and prayers

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational, Poetry Tagged With: daughters, empty nest, growing older, growing up, Mother's Day, reminiscing

Mom or Mother?

May 1, 2015 Leave a Comment

As the day we celebrate Mother’s Day draws nearer, I can’t help but think about mine even more than normal. My mother was the epitome of the mother deserving of all the accolades the holiday encourages. Everywhere you look this time of year there are advertisements for the perfect gift or card or dinner; many choices to bestow them honor.

We actually called my mom “mother” until we were in our teenage years. As we grew older and I think due to the influence of our friends, we slowly, carefully tested out “mom” and eventually made the switch. I say slowly and carefully because my dad didn’t like the term “mom”; he thought “mother” was far more respectful.

Today I was remembering how all of our friends loved mom. She always had a smile, a kind word and a way of making them feel special. She was very discerning and could quickly tell if someone was going through something and needed a hug. She was always compassionate and loving, but they also knew she didn’t put up with any shenanigans and showed her the utmost respect.

On a fall day, if we had friends over to play football in the yard full of crunchy leaves, she was inside making a big pot of chili and brownies, enough for all to share. On a trip to the mall, our car was busting at the hinges with teenagers who weren’t the least bit ashamed to hang out with “Mom Goff” which is what most of them called her. I still have one of her old scrapbooks and it is full of pictures, cards and even poems that our friends gave to her through the years. The expressions of their love continue past high school, as some kept in touch with her long after they’d lost touch with us.

How I would love the chance to honor her on this Mother’s Day now that I am older and fully understand how truly blessed I was. Don’t get me wrong, I knew it then; we all did, but she died when I was a mere 30 years old, pregnant with my 2nd child. In the years since, my girls have grown up and moved out and away to begin their own adult lives and I am Nana to a precious five year old. I know so much more than I did then about the joy and yes, even the pain of motherhood.

I know more of how she felt at graduations, weddings, the birth of a grandchild. I know more about the sacrifice, the beauty, the love and the heartaches that every mom partakes of. I’ve walked in similar shoes, I guess you could say. I now understand that from the moment you birth that child, they own a piece of your heart. Because of that, you feel not only their joy, but their pain for a lifetime.

Motherhood is worthy of honor; it is a lifetime calling. You can’t quit, take a break, walk away and find yourself or turn off your emotions when you feel like they might pull you under. You are in it for life! For those of you who might be saying, some aren’t worthy of the praises you offer; some abandon, some mistreat. You are right, and I sincerely offer my heartfelt sadness and regret for those who can’t celebrate their childhood. However, those can begin a new chapter and leave a better legacy and those of us who know how, can help them. Women everywhere should try to help fill those voids in children who have broken hearts and low expectations with love and understanding.

And for those of you who still have your mother, whether you call her mom, mother, madre, or mamma, I would encourage you to spend time with her! Cherish every moment because I can assure you, you will be glad you did when she is gone.

I am glad my mom knew how deeply her children loved her and I am beyond grateful for the 30 years I had her in my life.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: children, home and family, Mom, Mother's Day, Parenting

Be All There

February 12, 2015 8 Comments

This morning, daylight found me missing my girls and my granddaughter. I was looking forward to the valentine card my granddaughter had put in the mail, which should reach me today and wishing I could hug her and shower her with kisses.

One thought led to another and I began to remember when mine were younger and how many times I was so busy with some pathetic task that was actually meaningless in the big scheme of things. They would scoot up next to me, needing some love and affection and too often, I didn’t take full advantage of the opportunity. I never ignored them, but I let a pat on the head with a promise for more attention later suffice when I should have stopped what I was doing and relished the moment.

The more I thought about it, the tears began to roll and I let them. My husband came to find me and kiss me goodbye and noticed the tears. I told him I missed the girls and that I was lamenting the hugs and kisses and undivided attention I didn’t always give. He understood perfectly, and gave me a big hug.

It’s not that I didn’t love my children deeply; I just didn’t know then what I know now. I was always busy cooking and cleaning and multi-tasking to make sure the household ran smoothly. If I could go back and re-do things, they would be quite different.

I would throw that mop down and rush outside to catch butterflies or draw chalk figures on the concrete; the laundry could pile up, while we played dress up and the dinner dishes could sit and crust over while I sat with one in my lap, just because.

I share this because I’m older now and I know that it’s all too easy to rush through a day and neglect the most important things, which are not things at all, but people.

We aren’t promised tomorrow and if you have children, they are growing as you read this. Before you know it, they will be adults and making their own way in the world. You will have some type of regret because no parent is perfect, but you don’t have to have this one. Give them the time and attention they need while they want it. As they age, it isn’t always as treasured. I am blessed with two loving daughters who think I’m the greatest (at least that’s what they tell me), but I know there were times I could have been “all there” and I let life get in the way.