Lift them up

rain drops on hisbicus

rain drops on hisbicus

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Cringe-Worthy.”

Do you feel uncomfortable when you see someone else being embarrassed? What’s most likely to make you squirm?

It bothers me to see anyone being embarrassed, but I think the worst I have ever been confronted with is when a man or woman belittles their spouse in front of others.  It makes me sick.  Sure, we all tease sometimes, and depending on how close you are with friends or family, there may be times you tease a little more due to histories together.

I was in Walmart the other day and a married (judging from the fact they both had on rings) couple were shopping for cards.  He spoke to her with the most condescending tone and looked at her like she was beneath him.  She was trying to find the perfect card and he was obviously tired of waiting.  It was almost as if he knew I could hear him and was enjoying that fact that he could humiliate her in public.  I was embarrassed for her and hurt for the pain she must be feeling.

When I see this situation, I can’t help but wonder what makes someone so bitter and miserable that they treat people the way they do.  I realize that my glimpse into their lives was just that; a mere glimpse.  To give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he was having a bad day, or had a medical condition or there was some logical excuse for treating her so poorly.

For the others, the ones who make it a habit and lifestyle of it, I pray that they would realize that others are not impressed, and that their behavior is not even remotely acceptable.  Often, people do this because they are so insecure themselves and they are trying to prove they are in control.

I am thankful for a husband who shows love and affection and appreciation for me and never tries to humiliate me.  We are here to lift each other up and support one another.  And in keeping with my mother’s day theme this year, I will again express thanks to my mother who taught me better than this.  She always taught me that you never disrespect someone you love, especially not in public.  If you have something to discuss that could escalate, save it for later.  Don’t put someone you love down, life them up.

When you give up on the white horse, read this

love is

When I listen to young women and even read some of their Facebook posts, I realize one way that we have failed them.  It seems their ideas of love and what it is or what it should be originates from fairy tales or the latest box office hit.   They believe there really is someone out there who will give them chills every time they see them forever.  Honey, trust me; if you have chills it usually means you have a fever and I don’t mean some heat induced love coma either.

For those of you desperately waiting for Brad Pitt’s twin to come riding up on a white horse in all his handsomeness and sweep you off your feet and carry you to his castle, well, have you ever heard the term “fantastical wish”?

Yes, when you meet Mr. Right, there are emotions and feelings and I will even go as far as to say butterflies on occasion, but what is love?  Is it just a feeling or is it something much more?

Love isn’t even remotely about the size of the ring, the exorbitance of the wedding, or how many ways he charms you on social media for all your friends to see (and be jealous!).  It’s certainly not about looks or size because all that will change as time marches on.

True love is an enduring promise; it doesn’t come and go with your moods and selfishness.  And as the hot flames die down, they turn into something warm and stable and more comfortable; like glowing embers that can be reignited.

Love is staying when you have every reason to go, its forgiveness whether you think they deserve it or not, it’s being patient when your patience is running out.  Love is what you have, when at the end of a long, horrible day, he can walk in and just know and give you a long, hard hug.  Love is telling you to lie down and rest and let him take a turn with the baby you were up with last.  Love is looking across the room and knowing that person has your back, whatever the situation.  Love goes through deaths, crisis and pain and grows stronger.

Love is making a choice to love on the days you just aren’t feeling it.  Love is caring enough to figure out someone else’s needs before they even ask you to.  Love is a tear in their eye, merely because there is one in yours.  Love realizes another’s dreams and helps them achieve them.

Love is not dragging people through their past and it should never glean satisfaction from an “I told you so”.  Love is not giving 50%, it is giving your all and then some.  Love isn’t easy, it is long-suffering.  Love isn’t for cowards.  Love has respect and would never ask you to do things that make you uncomfortable.

Love is long conversations, marked with smiles and laughter and him grabbing your hand while driving down the road.  Not so anyone can see, but because it’s what he wants.  Love is when he never leaves the house without a hug and kiss and an, “I love you”, because he realizes life is precious and sometimes short.  Love is a text when he knows you are struggling with something that says, “I love you and I’m here if you need me”.

Love can be messy.  It isn’t always dancing through the meadows with a song on your lips and flowers in your hair.  There usually aren’t any castles involved at all unless you go to the beach.  And the closest you might get to a white horse, is his dirty pickup truck.

Do I still get butterflies?  Yes, I do, but more importantly, when they are gone, or fail to appear for a while, I am not discouraged, because I know love is more than that and the longer you fan the flames of love, the stronger and more powerful it gets.

 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy;

love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely,

does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  

I Corinthians 13:4-7

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