friendship – Long walks and dark chocolate

Things that happen in small towns with good people

This afternoon I don’t have too much on the agenda; trying to write and getting sides ready for dinner. My husband will be cooking hamburgers and corn on the cob on the grill, so I’m just responsible for the potatoes. He came in to ask me if we had buns and I looked up wondering how he could have forgotten that he ate the last ones a few days ago. I just assumed we were having sans buns or using regular bread. He promptly left to go to the local supermarket to get buns and run another errand and I took a call from my eldest who was excited to tell me some news about some of her own writing and blogging.

I heard a knock on my door and opened it, phone still to my ear, and three of my favorite people were outside. When your kids have busy schedules and live hundreds of miles away, it’s hard to hang up early when they call. One of them said, “We brought you buns”. Now, this particular woman is so incredible, I figured that somehow she just knew my needs this afternoon. But lo and behold, they had passed my husband and stopped to talk to him. When he told them where he was going and why, they explained they had just purchased the last package of buns at the market. What to do when you live 30 miles from a regular grocery store? Well, my hubby said, “you need to give me two of those”. So they, being the selfless, giving people that they are, did just that. Since he had another errand to run, they delivered the buns right to my front door. This did not surprise me at all out of this family. They are all kind, gracious and supportive and always ready with a smile to help make your day better.

As they stood on my steps fighting mosquitoes, I did invite them in, but they declined. They chose to go walk out back and look at the water instead, seeing that I was on the phone. I came back in, killed a deer fly with my kitchen towel and sat down and smiled (yes, the towel is now in the laundry). I feel bad that I wasn’t more insistent on them coming in, especially after they delivered buns!

I asked my daughter if she caught all of the conversation. She laughed and I filled her in on the rest of the details. She said, “well that was a cute and interesting story”, so I figured if she thought so, you might too 🙂

And to the Lewis family, I love you all and you are amazing and I hope you had enough buns left for yourselves!!

They hurt, so we love

Teardrop on Fire (Photo credit: tj.blackwell)

Why can’t we see that people are hurting? Why do some people rush to spread bad news, but don’t bother to take the time to clear up a nasty rumor?

We are all touched by pain, turmoil and tragedy, are we not? We all suffer so how do we forget what that feels like. How do we forget what would have made us feel better and then not offer that instead of judgment and gossip?

Please know that I am searching my own heart as I share. I hate gossip and try to stay far from it, but don’t we all get roped in sometimes? Aren’t we also partakers even if we just listen? Isn’t that just as bad? And how does that help, what does it accomplish?

When I think on the times that I have felt ravished and torn by life’s trials and troubles, I quickly remember the friends who showed up, who covered me in prayer; the ones who stood up for me and my family. I think of those who quickly discerned that it wasn’t a time for observation and speculation, but a time to show love and concern. They realized that it was a time to love and hold and listen.

I have been studying the book of Job, and just like everything else God does, this was divine timing, because it has been helpful to apply some of what I have learned to hurting people. It is teaching me to be a better friend. One who understands that there is a big picture and I can’t figure it all out and I don’t have all the answers. Sometimes the most helpful thing I can do is to pray for them and listen. Notice I said “listen”, not always speaking, not always thinking I have all the answers.

Most of us, by the time we have reached my age, have experienced the death of a loved one, severe illness in ourselves or others, financial difficulty or even ruin, marital discord and sometimes divorce, problems with children and grandchildren, and the list goes on and on.

God help us to remember some of those times; the way we felt, the people who cared and the things that counted. What made us feel better, what caused a smile to tug at the corners of our mouth and what made us feel loved and warm inside? May we remember and pay it forward.