For me?

Author: Bagande

Okay ladies, let’s get real.  It’s almost Valentines Day.  For those of us who are married or involved with someone, a large percentage of us must admit that yes, in fact, we do want something.

Granted, some of us are easier to please than others.  There are those who say, “I really don’t want anything” who really mean it.  I don’t understand these people at all, so I’m not going to spend any more time exploring that.

You have those who are perfectly content to receive a romantic card.  These will tend to be the same people who like to give cards.  Then, you have what I believe to be the largest group of all, those of us who want gifts.  I belong to this group so it’s the one I’m most familiar with.

The thing I wanted to explore is why it isn’t enough just to receive from our “loves”.  We must also share, post, tweet, call a friend and dish out our good fortune with as many as possible.  So, it seems just the gift isn’t quite enough, we need pictures and at least a little fanfare.  Perhaps the chocolate is a little bit sweeter once we brag about it to our friends.  Oh, we don’t call it bragging.  We share.

I must grudgingly admit that I have done this – Bragging, masquerading like sharing, that is.  This is embarrassing to admit because I feel like it makes me look adolescent.  But, as I’ve said again and again, many personal secrets just don’t seem that sacred anymore; I’m way happier being transparent, partly because I know without a shadow of a doubt, I am not alone.

It’s funny how sometimes either our pride or some deep-rooted insecurity causes us to think we need approval from others.  We need to make sure, especially with our closest friends, that they love him too and that they realize he really does love us.

However, to cover all the bases we don’t always have the wrong motive and often we really are just sharing something wonderful that happened in our lives with people who we love, who love us back.  This is the good kind of sharing; nothing to be ashamed of here at all.

Truth be told, I love my husband and I don’t need a gift from him to prove his love; he shows it every day.  It’s bigger than the biggest card or heart he could buy.  This should be enough for me and my motives should be remain pure in all of my conversations, pictures and posting about it.

Hopefully as the day set aside for all things romantic approaches, we will remember this and think about our knight in shining armor who took his time to make the day a little more special for us and not worry so much about what others need to know or think about it.

Also, there are a lot of hurting people out there who have either lost someone by death, or recently divorced, even recently broke up who just might not need to hear our sap.  Let’s be thoughtful regarding this as well.

And if you do get a gift, even if it’s a light up plastic flower from the corner convenience store, be thankful.

I’m hoping my love remembers the dark chocolate 🙂

Weekly Photo Challenge: Love

My paternal grandparents before I was even though of

My paternal grandparents before I was even thought of

This picture represents love to me, because I know that they survived every storm together.  They honored the commitment that they made before God, and gave us an example of true love and devotion.  Things weren’t always easy, and I’m sure they had days when they would have liked to give up.  But they didn’t.

In these days we live in, where love comes and goes like the wind and people would rather run than fight for their marriage, their example shows that love can survive, in the midst of trials and tribulations and circumstances that come against every couple.

This picture isn’t the greatest quality and photo credits go to my Uncle if I’m not mistaken, but this photo moves me.  I can sense the love between them.

Your cousin’s sister’s husbands nephew

Cherish your human connections, your relationships with friends and family- Barbara Bush

Family Reunion

Family Reunion (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Granny, how am I related to him?  “Well, let’s see, you’re double kin because between Pop and me, you’re cousins on both sides”.  This was my life story, growing up in a small town.  It’s a wonder I ever found anyone to “like”.  Thankfully, by the time I was in for serious dating, we had moved away and there was a smorgasbord of available young men who I had no familial ties to whatsoever.

I originally had mixed emotions this past weekend about attending a family reunion.  When I was younger, it had seemed that being related was more trouble than anything.  The fact that I am a notorious introvert probably contributed to my angst.  The plus was that my husband would be with me and he is the opposite and usually fills in the gaps for me.

In the past, the mere thought of chatting it up all day with a large gathering of people would have sent me hunting an excuse to retreat.  This time though, I made reservations as soon as I heard about it and for the most part, looked forward to it.  Do we crave this type of interaction more as we age because we’re afraid of being old and lonely so we are trying to add to our list of go to friends?  Or, are my forties just going to continue being full of surprises for me?

We arrived at the beautiful park where it was being held and I was anxious to hear some of the almost forgotten stories, figure out who was who and get reacquainted with old friends and family. I also wanted to get a look at that family tree and try to figure out this double-kin stuff for once and for all.

I enjoyed watching the children running around, sounds of their laughter mixed with the lighthearted banter of the adults.  I took pleasure in the grandparents proudly displaying pictures of the most brilliant grandchild ever to be born and some of the “elder” cousins harmlessly arguing in the same way they probably did in their younger days.  The food was plentiful and delicious and I hoarded some of my Aunts delectable fudge for later in the hotel room.

I was honestly surprised at how much I enjoyed myself as in the past I ran from this type of event.  But on this beautiful Saturday, I found myself hoping for another one next year, making silent vows to see some of these people more often.  Some are old and we don’t know how much time we have left, to hear their stories and learn about them as well as from them.  So I ask myself again….Have I really changed that much or do I now just finally possess the wisdom to appreciate them more?

Whatever the answer, I am blessed to have so many wonderful and interesting relatives.  There are a lot of similarities and also some differences, but when all is said and done, we are blood.  We should get to know each other, be there for each other and love one another regardless of differences.

I wish it were me

My girls

My girls

I wish it were me instead of you.  If I could take your pain upon myself, I would.

How many mothers have said that over the course of your child’s life?

Whether soothing a feverish infant, watching your toddler get their shots with tears rolling down your face, waiting for that daredevil adolescent to have the cast put on or holding back the pony tail of a puking teenager, we’ve all been there.

This pain doesn’t have to be physical either; it can also be emotional.  Those cruel words spoken by a classmate, that first break-up, insensitive teachers and all the other situations they face as they grow.  We know these are life circumstances they have to bear alone, with our tender guidance.

I’ve often wondered what what my girls think when I utter the words,  “I wish it were me instead”.  They might find them comforting or maybe even hard to believe.  The truth is; they will never understand the sincerity or truthfulness in them, until they have a child of their own.  One of mine does understand completely now as she has already experienced this very thing with my granddaughter.

Another thing I know is that our feelings never change, no matter how old they are.  I’m still fairly young myself but I’m firmly convicted that “mother-love” is undying.  It’s too strong to die this side of heaven.

I can imagine being 90 and one of my girls suffering physical or emotional pain.  I know what will come to my mind and the words that will flow from my mouth.  “I wish it were me instead of you” and I will still mean them from the bottom of my old heart.

Some things never change

English: Barbie PortraitYesterday, the sweet smell of baby breath and powder

Today, the smell of body spray and perfume

Yesterday, smooth fresh, baby skin

Today, eyelashes curled, and makeup on

Yesterday, Barbie jeep then skateboard

Today, driver’s license and car keys

Yesterday, dolls and puzzles and dreams

Today, heels, dresses and Prom

Yesterday, a soft little hand griping mine ever so tightly

Today, a special boy grips hers just as tight

Yesterday, I loved her with all my heart and knew I would feel that way forever.

Some things never change.

My mother in law, my friend

Happy Birthday to you!

Happy Birthday to you!

Today, my blog is dedicated to my beloved mother in law, Nancy.

You know those people who everyone loves? Seriously…you don’t know one person who dislikes them or has anything unkind to say about them.  Nancy is one of those.  She always sees the best in people, always gives people the benefit of the doubt whether they deserve it or not.

She is merciful, kind, loving and giving.  When I lost my mom, back in 96’ she stepped in and without trying to take my mom’s place, became much more than a mother in law to me.  I’ve heard all the horror stories about mother in laws, but I can happily say I haven’t lived them.  Nancy has been by my side through thick and thin and loved me unconditionally.  I don’t feel like a daughter in law, I feel like a daughter.

Nancy loves her children and grandchildren and the rest of her family and friends.  She has dreams and hopes for all of them and prays for them continually.  Nancy is one of this communities most treasured occupants and I don’t think she realizes how many people love her deeply.

Yesterday I was on the phone with my granddaughter, Ayda and she was telling me about how she got into trouble for throwing her mommies cell phone.  She had spent some time in time-out over this infraction and wanted sympathy from Nana.  I said, “Your mommy loves you”, and began to elaborate on who else loved her.  I thought I’d go down the list.  I began with “Nana loves you and Papa loves you and Momo (her name for her aunt Morgan) loves you”.  She interrupted me and said, “Yeah yeah, yeah, Nana.  I know.  EVERYONE loves me!”   Nancy could say the same thing because EVERYONE truly loves her.

Nancy, I love you.  I don’t say it enough, but I do!  HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

It’s already been a month!

So, today is my 1 month blogging anniversary.  I think I have managed to post almost every single day of that month, even though some days were more challenging than others.  I’m enjoying myself immensely and already learning a few things that will improve my writing skills.   

I think this is a good time to thank those who faithfully read my attempts at insight and humor and those who encourage me with their comments and emails.  Some of my wonderful friends jumped right on board without even the knowledge of whether I could properly form a sentence.   Thank you all very much for your support!  My hope is that we can all become better friends, share knowledge and help each other in this journey we call life!

Love and Blessings!

Lisa

WIth love and prayers to CT

Image

My thoughts and prayers go out to all of those who are affected by the tragedy in Newtown, CT today.  There is nothing I can say or do to take away the pain or make sense of this horrific event.  What I can do is pray.  We are called to feel the pain of others, to share their burdens with them.  When I heard this on the news today, I immediately thought of my own children and my beautiful granddaughter. 

I tried to put myself in the place of all of those who got the calls this morning that something was amiss, in the place of the teachers and the children who witnessed this firsthand and the first responders who had to see this and probably knew some of the victims.

I want to continue to cry over this, I welcome the ache in my heart.  I want it to hurt and to feel the disgust for such a mindless, senseless tragedy and I want to have the overwhelming compassion that brings tears to my eyes.  We should.  It’s the least we can do.  Our prayers must be heartfelt and we must continue to lift these folks up, not just today, but for as long as we will.

Tell the ones you love how much they mean to you.  Hug them, kiss them, squeeze them.

Love the you that God created you to be!

This morning my facebook post said, “Thankful that I’m comfortable in my skin, with who I am, how I look, what I believe in and how I live – All the thanks goes to God ♥”.  I wrote it, walked away and began to get ready to go pick up some Christmas things.

For some reason, I was thinking…I wonder if people will in any way think that was vain, especially the part about being happy with how I look.  I’m hopeful people won’t take that the wrong way.

To elaborate, maybe I can take you back to high school.  Was anyone ever insecure, trying to “fit in” or mold yourself to a ever changing standard?  Did you think you were too fat, too thin, too quiet, too loud?  Were you jealous?  Did you secretly wish certain people liked you more, paid you more attention?  Were you a part of the ‘in” crowd, but too scared of the ramifications of reaching out to those who weren’t?  Did you morph yourself into every boyfriend you ever had taking on their likes, dislikes as your own, turning yourself into someone you didn’t recognize?  Everyone had their own set of issues, fears, concerns.

I don’t remember when things really began to change for me, maybe in my thirties, about the time I renewed my faith.  Coincidence?  Not for me.  I also know that the many things we go through in life also mature us and change us. 

I just know that one day I realized that I was no longer bound to what the world and the magazines and whoever was the most popular told me was socially acceptable or a worthy goal.  I am very capable of deciding how to dress, how to please my husband and raise healthy, happy children.  My guidebook is the bible, not Cosmo, and strangely enough, I’ve done well.

If I could give a gift, all wrapped up in a BIG RED BOW, to all of the younger women I know, I would tell them this.  Love the you that God made you to be.  We were not all created to be cookie cutter images of each other or of some pop culture icon.  Be healthy, exercise self-control, give much, love more, and cherish moments, not things (can never say this enough), be happy with your body; take care of it as you will need it for a long time, but don’t make it your God or an obsession.  After all, beauty is fleeting.  It’s what’s on the inside that’s going to last and make the biggest impression, good or bad.

Find that peace that comes with knowing who you were created to be.  Recognize your unique gifts and talents and use them to promote love, kindness and peace.  Keep the faith!

Be Blessed!

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