Weekly Writing Challenge: That’s Absurd

from Dreamstime.com

The Challenge:

  • Write a fictional piece that incorporates the everyday life we’re familiar with — work, family, errands — and add a surprise twist through an imaginary character, absurd turn of events, or Sci-Fi-esque setting.

As I told my husband about this little story this morning over coffee, he laughed.  I’m not sure what we will ever do about the snoring, but I am hoping I just learn to sleep through it 🙂

It was one of those nights where the tiny sliver of moon that existed, stayed nestled behind the clouds.  I sat up in bed, surrounded by a blanket of darkness, then stood and groped my way to the bathroom.

As I returned to bed I remember wondering if I should just continue on to the couch or the spare bedroom.  My husband’s snoring had awakened me multiple times already and there was no sign of that ceasing.  All the frustrated grunts, pillow punching and cover jerking had provided only temporary relief from the incessant noise.  My annoyance had reached colossal proportion.

I looked up as a flicker of light from the lampshade on my bedside table caught my attention.  We never see lightning bugs here, so what in the world was going on?  Did my phone go off?  Or worse, was there someone outside with a flashlight, intent on coming in?

Then I saw him.  Had he not been so tiny, I am sure fear would have gripped me.  He was about an inch tall, standing there as bold as you please on my alarm clock.  He was dressed like one of the seven dwarves and sporting a beard as long as his body.  He looked very old, but was also very spry.

As I sat down on the bed to have a closer look, he exclaimed in a high pitched voice, “Hello, my name is Snuffer!”

“Where did you come from and why are you here?” I asked in a whisper, trying not to disturb my husband’s sleep, for reasons unknown to me.

He said, “When someone like you reaches a certain level of frustration with a snoring spouse, I come to snuff their breath!”

“Excuse me?  Snuff their breath? Do you mean as in stopping their very breathing?”

“Aha, you are a quick study!  “Yes, exactly”, he said with a smile.

Now, I began to panic.  “Oh no, you can’t do that!”  Then we began a dance of sorts, as he tried to get around me to get to my husband.  He was much quicker than you would imagine and I finally screamed, “Stop, you horrid little man!”

With this, my husband snorted, sat up and bed and asked me who I was talking to.  I looked up from my horizontal position, my head lying on the pillow at the darkness all around me and quietly said, “No one.”

Up and at em’ (or not)

IMG_4960

You cannot be a morning person AND a night owl.  You are either one or the other and the sooner you find out which it is and embrace it, the happier you will be!

When I was a child, I tried desperately to hang out with the night owls. Although I must admit, this was frequently because I didn’t want to go into the dark scary room without my sister (who is younger than me) to protect me.  More often than not, because she has a heart the size of Texas, she would give up her fun and go to bed so I could get to sleep.  (We’re talking weekends and summers of course; we had a strict bedtime on school nights, which I was deeply thankful for)  If nature called, she would also wake up and escort me through the door, not knowing what was on the other side, mind you!  Then, it was down the dark hall to the potentially murderer infested bathroom.

My brother and sister could stay up late and watch Creature Feature and then sleep as long as mom let them on Saturday.  We won’t even get into my hatred for Creature Feature.  Me, I was up with the birds on Saturday morning, ready to start my day.  My mom was also a morning person, so she and I were often the first ones up, which did give us some precious time together.

As childhood faded away, and the years of dating and driving arrived, I still savored my 10pm bedtime.  It was no problem for me to make my curfew because I was getting tired anyway.  Unfortunately, half the time I would arrive home to be told to go back out and find my sister, who wasn’t so good about hers.

This isn’t to say I didn’t have my late nights out on the rare occasion but I can tell you, I was probably fantasizing about my bed sometime around 10:30 or 11:00pm.  If I was out and about after that, there was something pretty important going on, or I was just following the crowd.  Can I say again how glad I am that the older you get, you don’t care about all that anymore?  I saw someone complaining once (after 10pm) about not being able to go out – I was shocked; I don’t understand those people.

Nowadays, I am usually up by 5:30 on weekdays and 7:00 is about the latest I can ever sleep in, unless I am ill.  My husband and my youngest are not morning people.  I am pretty sure that I irritate them every morning, not only with the noise but with my sunshiny disposition most mornings.   This is post coffee, of course, I will offer that.  They really hate it when I want to talk (a lot) as soon as they get out of bed.

On the other hand, I get annoyed when they beg me to stay up late with them and watch a movie; they start getting drinks and snacks, when my digestive system is long done for the day.  They “come alive” when I’m winding down.

So as their eyeballs seem to open wider and they hoot with the oncoming night, I find myself checking out and nodding off.  But come morning, my eyes will pop open and welcome another glorious day, glad to be alive and up to see the sun rise, to start my day the right way, as it should be, wide awake, eyes wide open.

And for my fellow morning people, just in case you really want to watch and sing along I have attached one of my favorites to sing in the morning.

Aren’t you glad we aren’t carbon copies of one another?  Where would the fun be in that?  And now for some of my favorite quotes….

Lose an hour in the morning, and you will be all day hunting for it.  ~Richard Whately 

I’ll tell you how the sun rose a ribbon at a time.  ~Emily Dickinson

Morning is when the wick is lit.  A flame ignited, the day delighted with heat and light, we start the fight for something more than before.  ~Jeb Dickerson

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