Dust bunnies and Diaries

Will I even miss the mess?

Will I even miss the mess?

“My mom used to force us to do this at least twice a year”, I said, as we sifted through each and every item in her closet and drawers.  My daughter is quite the packrat and I knew we had better take a day (and preferably a full one) before her move to Texas to dig in deep.

As we went through every box, purse, bag and crate piece by piece, she painstakingly decided which pile the item would make its home.

Memory after memory assaulted my mind as I tried to keep this a lighthearted event.  There were the multiple pairs of Toms that she began wearing after her first trip to Mexico, when she learned she could supply another child with a pair if we bought them.  This reminded me of how compassionate she has always been.  There was the birthday card from Granny that still had the crisp $2 bills tucked inside that she had been saving; the tiny pee wee cheerleader uniform she once wore; the drum sticks that light up when you play from her days of drum lessons; the Dr. Seuss books, stuffed animals and old report cards.

She laughed as she opened an old diary and began to read.  As I listened to the words written by a nine year old, describing her days in detail, the thing that brought me the most pleasure was the happiness reflected in her entries.  So, as we laughed over silly diary entries and I again hid tears, we reflected on the past.

When you clean the cobwebs and dust bunnies from things long forgotten, it’s akin to cleaning the cobwebs from the recesses of your mind, or removing the layers of dust accumulated from years of not remembering.

Thankfully, my mind is alive tonight with so many beautiful memories that I had tucked away.  It’s a joy and a pleasure to revisit them, to recall all the good times with my family.

Falling into a new season

IMG_5689

“You’re gonna miss this, mom”, she says after I halfway scold her for one of her annoying habits of doing something to about 95% completion.   And I know that she is right.  That all too familiar constriction begins in my throat and I silently pray that I won’t be forced to speak any time soon.  My eyes are damp too, but she won’t notice that from the next room.  It’s not that I’m afraid to show my emotions; we’ve been a tangled mess of emotions over the past few weeks.

I’ve thought about it and written about, but now the time is here.  Our youngest will leap headlong from the nest this coming Saturday and when she gets up and brushes herself off, she will have a new last name and a new protector.

If time permits and the words flow, I will share it all in the coming days, the ups and downs, the panic and the quiet and all the other pre-wedding drama.

I’ve always said that fall is my favorite season and it is, but I find myself wondering if now it will also represent the time of year that I fell into the “empty nest”.

Weekly Photo Challenge: From Lines to Patterns

From the Weekly Photo Challenge:

lines to patterns. We see lines and patterns in the world around us, in nature and things man-made. Sometimes we don’t realize they’re there: on the street, across the walls, up in the sky, and along the ground on which we walk.

IN A NEW POST CREATED FOR THIS CHALLENGE, SHARE A PHOTO (OR GALLERY) OF SHAPES, LINES, TEXTURES, OR PATTERNS.

Weekly Writing Challenge: Dialogue

Poppy and Granny with Ashley (my youngest)

Poppy and Granny with Ashley (my youngest)

“Lee-see-o, Where are you?” I could hear my grandmothers voice growing louder the closer I got to her back porch.  Granny, complete with silver bun and glasses, was easygoing and lenient, but when dusk fell it was time to go inside.

 “Coming, Gran”, I would yell back as I begin to say my goodbyes as my friends also turned homeward.

Inside?  Already?  After all there were more cartwheels and handsprings to be attempted, games of tag left un-played and more stories to hear and to tell.  Who wanted to go inside with two old people who didn’t own a television?

Well, I did.  I could spin a yarn about how I hung my shoulders down and stuck my bottom lip out and lamented my horrible fate.  But, it’s just not true. 

I remember it more like this.

“Hey Granny!” I would say with a big grin spreading across my dirt-stained face.  “Hey, doll baby, what did you get yourself into?  Come on inside and let’s get you washed up”.

Poppy would be in his favorite chair, reading the newspaper, relaxing after his day as a fishing guide and tending to his garden when he got home.  He didn’t talk as much as granny did, so all I would hear from him for a while was likely to be the rustling sound, as he turned the pages of his paper.

All clean and in my pj’s or jammies as we liked to call them, I would come back into the living room and Poppy would make some funny comment.  He loved to tease his grandkids. 

“Granny made chocolate pie”, I would her say in a sing-song voice from the little kitchen.  She would cut me a hearty slice and we would begin to talk about my day.  Granny always listened more like another kid instead of an adult.  She looked at me, right in the eye, when I was speaking and she didn’t interrupt.  She listened with seemingly rapt attention to every detail. 

Of course, I didn’t realize as a child, how much adults can glean from our ramblings if they just pay attention.  Yes, as I shared my heart, Granny was listening because she loved me, and also so she knew how to pray for me and others.  When I reached my tumultuous teen years, I sometimes resented that she actually had a use for my freely given information, but her motives were always for my good.

Poppy, already having enjoyed his pie right after supper, would get up and give me a hug and a kiss goodnight to meet his early bedtime.  As silly as it sounds, I can still feel the roughness of his cheek and smell that sweet, distinct smell of Poppy.

Oh what I would give to spend one more quiet, pie partaking, newspaper rustling evening with them.  I crave the quiet, the conversation uninterrupted by various electronic devices, sharing the Sunday funnies, the hot tea mornings with toast and jelly.

Poppy is gone now and Granny’s mind isn’t what it used to be, but I treasure all the time I spent with them and the memories that seem like yesterday.  I was blessed to have them and I pray that one day my grandchildren look back at time spent with me and my husband with as much fondness.

 

The little foxes

English: Common foxes in the snow. Français : ...

English: Common foxes in the snow. Français : Renards roux dans la neige. W.Kuhnert. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Mom used to repeat that long-ago penned slice of wisdom originating from The Song of Solomon; “It’s the little foxes that spoil the vines”. In my younger days, when I had never yet set my gaze on a real live fox much less these vineyards he desired to spoil, it didn’t make much sense to me. A lot of things didn’t then.

But, oh have I found that saying to be accurate and worth adding to my arsenal of proven truths.

We expect trials and tribulations to manifest in some big, easily recognizable way. We presume that when we enter throes of temptation, we will always show up, eyes wide open, prepared and completely alert.

However, it starts with the little things…

That one phrase spoken in a sugar sweet voice, laced with black, dark, hate.

That tiny wound that rages red, becoming infected with revenge.

That look of contempt, the kind where a disgusted shaking head follows.

Sometimes it starts as a barely noticeable disengaging from life, a slow giving in to despair.

A pinch of jealousy, fertilized with just the right mix of self-loathing and insecurity can turn into an ugly beast, hard to control.

One small plank thrown up to shelter a tender heart can turn into a fortress.

Yes, I am confident that a lot of the “little things” become very big things if we don’t catch them and deal with them immediately.

The little foxes do spoil the vines, but only, if we let them.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Inside

Weekly Photo Challenge:  Inside

I thought I would focus on something very important to me….Chocolate! The first is inside my candy jar and the second is inside my candy wrapper.

Dark chocolate heaven

Dark chocolate heaven

Remembering

 

Cover of "9/11 [Region 2]"

Cover of 9/11 [Region 2]

I will always remember that violent day,

 

Where I was, how my heart broke, how we gathered to pray.

 

For the victims, I felt horror, for their families I cried.

 

On that day my belief in security died.

 

The pictures and video with power to haunt,

 

Most nations supportive, but others would taunt.

 

I always wonder about the heroes who died on that day.

 

If they could send us a message, just what would it say?

 

I believe they would say hold your family near,

 

And don’t let this continue to consume you with fear

 

Enjoy every moment of this life! Go and live it!

 

Lift up prayers for your country and those who protect it.

 

Yes, I’ll always remember no matter how long it’s been

 

As 9/11 rolls around again and again.

 

 

By:  Lisa

 

 

 

Weekly Photo Challenge: A different point of view (Take 2)

Weekly Photo Challenge:  A different point of view (Take 2)

Took this at Olympic National N.P., I think it was at Rialto Beach

Weekly Photo Challenge: An Unusual Point of View

Weekly Photo Challenge:  An Unusual Point of View

My husband and daughter were in a fishing tournament today. Instead of shooting the boats straight on, I noticed a storm cloud brewing overhead, so I angled the camera up. The result was pretty cool.

Daily Prompt: Regrets, I’ve had a few

Thursday night

What’s your biggest regret? How would your life have been different if you’d made another decision?

This prompt spoke to me in a big way this morning, causing me to reflect on my life thus far. I can’t say that I have one regret in particular and since I believe all things happen for a reason, I believe I am exactly where I am supposed to be today.

With that said, I have many regrets:

• The times I withheld forgiveness instead of forgiving freely and quickly and completely.
• The times I chose to clean house instead of making mud pies.
• Every minute I spent in the mirror criticizing my appearance, and especially the times in front of my girls.
• For the careless word spoken that wounded, sometimes deeply.
• The conversations I merely endured that should have been feasted upon.
• The years I spent running from God.
• The “I love you” left unspoken and the phone calls never made.
• Every hour wasted on hatred, jealousy, anger and strife.

And finally, the time I have spent dwelling on past regrets instead of choosing to leap past them, learn from them and strive to live out the remainder of this life with fewer of them.

This was a great writing prompt and it’s good to force yourself to think back sometimes and glean from past mistakes, to remember where you came from and who you have become. Of most importance though is to move forward and live this beautiful life out loud, with great expectations, faith and hope. May we all fully implement the lessons learned that they never influence our lives negatively again.

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