Family and Home – Long walks and dark chocolate

Vacation my way

November 7, 2014 4 Comments

Cape Breton N.P.

The Prompt: Where is the one place you would never want to go on vacation that other people seem to love?

The first place that came to mind when I saw this post was Vegas, but I think other large cities known for up-all-night parties and non-stop entertainment would also be deal breakers for me.

Since I would rather not bash any particular city since they are all hometown to someone, I decided to look at this from the perspective of what makes a vacation enjoyable to me, based on my personality and preferences.

When I was younger, I loved to go where there were crowds and rides and entertainment. There were summers on Panama City Beach, baking in the hot sun all day, riding the waves on our boogie boards in the warm salty water until the sun’s light started to wane, then getting ready to go across the street to the theme park. I remember my hair flying behind me while, “Another One Bites the Dust” blared from the speakers as I circled a track at high speeds, which would render me nauseous and require a trip to the chiropractor if I attempted now. I licked the cotton candy from my sticky fingers, while perched at the top of the ferris wheel, the metal chair cool against my sunburn, secretly wishing the shady looking character below would start the wheel spinning again. We hid from our parents and chased boys, giving them false names and numbers and giggling about it in our hotel room, which was joined with my parents.

Fast forward to the summer of 2014 and my husband and I are casually strolling down the street in Bar Harbor, ME, a cool misty rain falling as we seek out the best place for lobster. We sat on park benches and people watched, ate ice cream and tried blueberry tea and watched the sunset.

We meandered up the coast and into Canada, stayed at bed and breakfasts through New Brunswick, and Nova Scotia. We luxuriated in sleeping in, had French press coffee and spent time just soaking up the scenery. We took long walks in parks, inhaled the heavenly scent of balsam fir, welcomed longer lunches and relished each other’s company.

We sat on the rocks around a lighthouse, tranquil enough for my husband to doze off. (I think I even heard him snore) The waves splashed against the rocks, which were nicely heated by the sun which was a comfort on a breezy, cool day. We took pictures of old churches, tasted fresh water at the base of a waterfall, ate too much candy and acted like teenagers.

It was one of the most memorable trips we have taken together. I find nowadays that I enjoy and appreciate God’s creation more and vacation to me means spending time outdoors; somewhere peaceful, where I can just relax. Fewer plans, less noise and crowds and I am a happy camper.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Photography Tagged With: beach, Canada, Maine, vacation

Check my what?

November 6, 2014 8 Comments

We have all heard the phrase, “check your motives” but how often do we really check them? I am finding personally as I try to make a habit of it, that they aren’t always as pure as I had once imagined. This motive checking has been on my radar for quite some time now as I knew it was something God was dealing with me personally about. Not surprisingly, it is way easier to judge someone else’s motives than your own and your family members are easy prey.

My husband and my youngest daughter have always had this thing that they do when I am fussing at them about something. While I am in mid-sentence, they say, “I love you”. There were times when this was infuriating, but a large percentage of the time, it garnered a smile from me and the change of subject that had been their intent all along. Their motive behind saying it was to change the topic and my train of thought, or to derail my indictment. Thankfully, I know they both adore me and that although their motive wasn’t entirely pure, they still meant what they said.

If we pay close attention to our conversations, our emails, and our Facebook posts, they can speak volumes regarding motive. Has anyone ever posted something seemingly innocuous on Facebook, but the reason you did it was to get back at or prove a point to someone? What about the argumentative email that you go back and forth with someone at work? Is it perhaps because you are determined to be right or prove them wrong? Are all of your questions about others out of genuine concern or do you ever have an ulterior motive? Think about times when you are discussing something and you say something that you later regret. Why did you say it? What was your motive behind it? Were you being kind, compassionate, loving and merciful?

Now, for the difficult part of this post, the part where I am completely transparent. Often when I speak, my motive is to prove that I am right, to make myself look good (attain praise), to get attention, or sometimes even to call attention to a fault in someone else. Ouch! The truth hurts, doesn’t it?

Now, you can see why God is dealing with me personally. Thankfully, this journey has opened my eyes to some of the little hidden things of the heart and I have learned about myself and others. I have asked for forgiveness and for God’s help that that my motives will always be pure; that the words I speak are from a heart filled with love.

I want to challenge you to pay attention to your own motives in conversations, as you go about your day and see if you have any “wow” moments in this area. Then, be brave and come back and post something you learned.

I dare ya!

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational Tagged With: check your motive, conversations, motives, nablopomo

Your writing voice

November 5, 2014 1 Comment

Note: For those of you who are wondering about my choices for blogging topic, I am participating in NaBloPoMo, which means I will try to post every day of November. The prompts are provided to help inspire.

The Prompt: Do you feel you have found your voice on your blog? What techniques have you tried to develop your voice in your writing? What are some characteristics of your personality in your writing?

I do feel like I have found my voice on my blog. My goal when I began this blogging adventure was to learn to be a better writer, by practicing; to encourage and inspire others and to share wisdom gleaned from years of being a wife and mother.

I don’t know that I have tried to employ any particular technique other than being myself, being transparent and honest and not being afraid to say what is on my mind, even though others may disagree. This blog has actually helped with the latter, because I detest confrontation. In the past, I would often be silent for fear of repercussion. I have come to realize that my voice isn’t everyone’s voice, but it’s mine and I have a right to speak it.

Interestingly, to me anyway, is that the often hidden aspects of my personality, being the introvert that I am, often surface in my blog posts. My sense of humor, for instance, shows up in my writing when it might not be as obvious in person. I wax poetic here, and I tend to only do that in writing. The biggest part of my everyday personality that shows in my blog is my positive attitude. I am definitely looking for the good and searching for things to be thankful for daily. My devotion and dedication to God, my family and friends should be obvious in my posts as well.

I am grateful for those who have read, commented, sent emails and texts encouraging me to continue. They motivate me to become a better writer and to keep walking on this journey towards being a published author one day.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: blogger, finding your voice, online personality, personality

Pieces that fit just right

November 4, 2014 1 Comment

The Prompt: What is your favorite holiday memory?

My favorite holidays are definitely Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I have so many glorious memories! As I was trying to remember my favorite holiday memory, I searched the recesses of my brain for that favorite gift or that one special memory, but to place one above another just doesn’t seem right.

The memories all fit together like pieces of one big jigsaw puzzle. One piece brings me to another and without some, others wouldn’t have fit. They are all different, yet together they create a beautiful picture. Some lay the framework so that all the pieces in the middle will have a nice snug border. Some are in muted tones and others share vibrant colors.

I have memories from early childhood of opening that easy bake oven on Christmas and feeling like the whole world had been handed to me on a silver platter. A few years later, that Ultima 2 makeup set would rock my world. Somewhere between teenage years and adulthood, the giving became more fun than the getting and it was about finding that special something. With my own children came teaching them the true meaning of Christmas and baking together and surprising them with that one thing they just had to have.

Thanksgiving always reminds me of cooking with my Mom, with the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade playing in the background. After losing her, I had to learn to cook from her recipes and carry on the family traditions. Sharing the food and fellowship at Thanksgiving has always warmed my heart and the season reminds me more than ever of how much I have to be thankful for.

We are truly blessed and I am grateful for each and every memory and looking forward to making more in a few short weeks.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Christmas, Gratitude, Holidays, thanks, Thanksgiving

Can I just crawl in a hole now?

October 10, 2014 4 Comments

The Daily Prompt said, Time to confess: tell us about a time when you used a word whose meaning you didn’t actually know (or were very wrong about, in retrospect).

At first glance, I thought, “Hmm, I just don’t do that.” I’m one of those people who is so paranoid about actually misusing a word that I would simply refrain from using it unless I was 100% sure of its meaning.

Since I really want to write today I sat and thought about the prompt for a moment to see if I could come up with something. Lo and behold, I remembered WHY I don’t dare use a word I don’t know.

It happened in middle school, in front of a group of kids, most of them older than me.

Okay, so we all know that middle school is tough anyway. You are going through so many changes, some of which are wreaking havoc with your hormones and your emotions. Your accelerated physical development is surpassing your maturity level, making you feel like a freak of nature. Impressing the male species comes into play, because boys are no longer gross. For me, honestly, they never were, but I digress. Your feelings tend to shift between feeling superior to inferior, depending on who you’re around and life feels like a roller coaster.

In spite of all that, I think I was a pretty confident junior high student, one of the young and the restless, managing to keep most of my fears at bay. I went to a very small school and I knew everyone, making some things easier.

This particular day, if memory serves me correctly, there were approximately 4-5 kids around, and we were talking during lunch break. We were just hanging out, each of us trying our best to be the center of attention, or at least capture the attention of “the one”.

For some reason, there was a discussion of an older person who drank a lot. I don’t remember any details of the conversation or even who we were talking about, but boy do I ever remember my faux pas! I decided to put my ever-growing vocabulary to use and described the poor man as a “slush”. Yes, I said a slush. Have you ever heard of that? It means the same thing as a lush if you are 12 and speaking of something you know not.

In my defense, I have always had a large vocabulary and didn’t often make this type of mistake. Imagine my horror when one of my best friends called me out on it. We couldn’t just pretend that it didn’t happen and forget it, nor could I slither off into a hole somewhere and stay there until summer. No, we had to announce the blunder, repeat it and laugh hysterically until everyone within earshot had begged to be in on the merriment. I was mortified and wanted to run to the office and call my mom and go home (after I choked my friend to death on the sidewalk). Things like this can be very traumatic for a pre-teen.

This wasn’t the only time I wanted to die at school, but it’s definitely one of the most memorable and probably single-handedly responsible for my inability to think of a time that it has happened since.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Daily Prompt, embarrassment, faux pas, middle school, mistakes, vocabulary

The Who trumps the What

October 6, 2014 1 Comment

What do you want to be when you grow up? I want to be a policeman, a fireman, a dancer, an astronaut. You might hear any of these if you ask a child this question. Today as I sit here and contemplate on the aforementioned subject, I am reminded that WHO you are is so much more important than WHAT you do.

I firmly believe that everyone has a god-purposed calling and are bent towards it at a very young age. Our role as adults and mentors is to help children discover it, encourage it and feed it well and watch it grow. There is something we are all instinctively good at and naturally have a passion to do.

However, I propose that who we are while we are doing it is what will glean the greater good. I can be the best in the world at whatever I do, but if I can’t influence a life for good, what is it really worth? Yes, there are some cases in which you could be a jerk and what you have done would still bring good to the world around you. You could discover a cure for a disease, for instance, and that would bring good, regardless of your personal impact on society. As a rule though, the who far outshines the what!

Who we are determines how others are impacted. Do we exude kindness, generosity and love as we encounter others? How we treat people has such a lasting effect, for good or bad. There is a quote attributed to Maya Angelou that says, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel”.

Who am I today as I carry on with my work and life, as a mom, wife and friend? That is what will be remembered and leave a potential life-long impression.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational Tagged With: kindness, love for people, peaceful

When you give up on the white horse, read this

September 30, 2014 7 Comments

When I listen to young women and even read some of their Facebook posts, I realize one way that we have failed them. It seems their ideas of love and what it is or what it should be originates from fairy tales or the latest box office hit. They believe there really is someone out there who will give them chills every time they see them forever. Honey, trust me; if you have chills it usually means you have a fever and I don’t mean some heat induced love coma either.

For those of you desperately waiting for Brad Pitt’s twin to come riding up on a white horse in all his handsomeness and sweep you off your feet and carry you to his castle, well, have you ever heard the term “fantastical wish”?

Yes, when you meet Mr. Right, there are emotions and feelings and I will even go as far as to say butterflies on occasion, but what is love? Is it just a feeling or is it something much more?

Love isn’t even remotely about the size of the ring, the exorbitance of the wedding, or how many ways he charms you on social media for all your friends to see (and be jealous!). It’s certainly not about looks or size because all that will change as time marches on.

True love is an enduring promise; it doesn’t come and go with your moods and selfishness. And as the hot flames die down, they turn into something warm and stable and more comfortable; like glowing embers that can be reignited.

Love is staying when you have every reason to go, its forgiveness whether you think they deserve it or not, it’s being patient when your patience is running out. Love is what you have, when at the end of a long, horrible day, he can walk in and just know and give you a long, hard hug. Love is telling you to lie down and rest and let him take a turn with the baby you were up with last. Love is looking across the room and knowing that person has your back, whatever the situation. Love goes through deaths, crisis and pain and grows stronger.

Love is making a choice to love on the days you just aren’t feeling it. Love is caring enough to figure out someone else’s needs before they even ask you to. Love is a tear in their eye, merely because there is one in yours. Love realizes another’s dreams and helps them achieve them.

Love is not dragging people through their past and it should never glean satisfaction from an “I told you so”. Love is not giving 50%, it is giving your all and then some. Love isn’t easy, it is long-suffering. Love isn’t for cowards. Love has respect and would never ask you to do things that make you uncomfortable.

Love is long conversations, marked with smiles and laughter and him grabbing your hand while driving down the road. Not so anyone can see, but because it’s what he wants. Love is when he never leaves the house without a hug and kiss and an, “I love you”, because he realizes life is precious and sometimes short. Love is a text when he knows you are struggling with something that says, “I love you and I’m here if you need me”.

Love can be messy. It isn’t always dancing through the meadows with a song on your lips and flowers in your hair. There usually aren’t any castles involved at all unless you go to the beach. And the closest you might get to a white horse, is his dirty pickup truck.

Do I still get butterflies? Yes, I do, but more importantly, when they are gone, or fail to appear for a while, I am not discouraged, because I know love is more than that and the longer you fan the flames of love, the stronger and more powerful it gets.

Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy;

love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely,

does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

I Corinthians 13:4-7

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational Tagged With: love, love for spouse, marriage, Romance

Weekly Writing Challenge: That’s Absurd

September 21, 2014 9 Comments

The Challenge:

Write a fictional piece that incorporates the everyday life we’re familiar with — work, family, errands — and add a surprise twist through an imaginary character, absurd turn of events, or Sci-Fi-esque setting.

As I told my husband about this little story this morning over coffee, he laughed. I’m not sure what we will ever do about the snoring, but I am hoping I just learn to sleep through it 🙂

It was one of those nights where the tiny sliver of moon that existed, stayed nestled behind the clouds. I sat up in bed, surrounded by a blanket of darkness, then stood and groped my way to the bathroom.

As I returned to bed I remember wondering if I should just continue on to the couch or the spare bedroom. My husband’s snoring had awakened me multiple times already and there was no sign of that ceasing. All the frustrated grunts, pillow punching and cover jerking had provided only temporary relief from the incessant noise. My annoyance had reached colossal proportion.

I looked up as a flicker of light from the lampshade on my bedside table caught my attention. We never see lightning bugs here, so what in the world was going on? Did my phone go off? Or worse, was there someone outside with a flashlight, intent on coming in?

Then I saw him. Had he not been so tiny, I am sure fear would have gripped me. He was about an inch tall, standing there as bold as you please on my alarm clock. He was dressed like one of the seven dwarves and sporting a beard as long as his body. He looked very old, but was also very spry.

As I sat down on the bed to have a closer look, he exclaimed in a high pitched voice, “Hello, my name is Snuffer!”

“Where did you come from and why are you here?” I asked in a whisper, trying not to disturb my husband’s sleep, for reasons unknown to me.

He said, “When someone like you reaches a certain level of frustration with a snoring spouse, I come to snuff their breath!”

“Excuse me? Snuff their breath? Do you mean as in stopping their very breathing?”

“Aha, you are a quick study! “Yes, exactly”, he said with a smile.

Now, I began to panic. “Oh no, you can’t do that!” Then we began a dance of sorts, as he tried to get around me to get to my husband. He was much quicker than you would imagine and I finally screamed, “Stop, you horrid little man!”

With this, my husband snorted, sat up and bed and asked me who I was talking to. I looked up from my horizontal position, my head lying on the pillow at the darkness all around me and quietly said, “No one.”

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: dpchallenge, fiction, short story, sleeping, snoring, spouse issues, weekly writing challenge

Missing my girls

September 16, 2014 18 Comments

The girls when they were young

As the holidays loom ever closer, I find myself reminiscing about the simple things I miss. Being an empty nester for almost a year now hasn’t been as bad as I feared. Dad and I have had more time for each other and it’s been peaceful and quiet.

But sometimes a mama just has one of those days.

Today, I miss one hand in mine, while your dad held the other as we propelled you over a puddle or a crack or just for the thrill of hearing you giggle. You would always plea, “do it again”, until our arms were worn out. I miss tiny feet coming down the hall with sleepy eyes that beckoned me to pick you up and hold you for a while until you were fully awake.

I miss play-doh, yes, even play-doh and playdates and parks; climbing up the slide with you in my arms and sliding down while holding on to you for dear life.

The dinner table is much quieter now and there are never any spills or anyone scrunching their nose up at my choice of veggies. It only takes a minute to clean up afterwards and there is no one volunteering to help. Oh wait; there wasn’t when you were here either!

I miss the wide, trusting eyes that believed everything I told them and somehow instinctively knew I had their best interest at heart.

Oh yes, I even miss the makeup encrusted counters, because they remind me of “getting ready” with you to go on one of our outings. I miss a house full of friends, being your taxi and proudly watching you play all your sports. Today, I even miss the smelly tripled amounts of laundry.

I miss the way I rarely had to drag you to church because you always wanted to go. I miss your excitement over mission trips and the way you told stories of the life changing experiences you had upon your return from them.

I am sure I’ll have other days like this, because I have so many wonderful memories with you. You were a pleasure to raise (most of the time). Don’t get so teary and filled with sympathy that you think this means you have to return for good, but a visit in the near future would be nice!

Make sure that you enjoy the “simple” things, as those are the ones you will remember with such fondness.

Love,

Mom

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: daughters, empty nest, girls, kids, parental love

Wish I was eating cake with you

August 18, 2014 6 Comments

After all these years, I can still see you standing there. You, in your blue jeans, with your unruly curls, your lipstick on, nails polished, smelling like Cinnabar.

It is hard for me to imagine that if you were still here, today you would be celebrating your 68th birthday. Time stands still and I remember you forever at 49.

Time hadn’t etched many lines in your face and your eyes were clear and bright. The hand that only ever got to feel Morgan, when she kicked in my 8 month pregnant belly, was steady and bore no signs of age spots. Before sickness took it’s toll, you were energetic and vivacious!

I don’t question why anymore, as I trust God’s timing in all things, but oh, mother, how I still miss you!

My heart still aches with grief sometimes and yes, the tears still fall, but not nearly as often. There are so many things I would love to be able to share with you and I can’t count the times I still desire your wise counsel and advice.

Until heaven, I must be content with memories, so I am eternally grateful and immensely blessed to have a million good ones with you.

Feeling highly favored to have called you mine,

Lisa