Family and Home – Long walks and dark chocolate

Painting in circles

October 15, 2013 3 Comments

Yesterday I did something I haven’t done in approximately 35 years. I painted buoys that will be used on our recently acquired stone crab traps. I have really tried to distance myself from this particular venture and vowed inwardly that I would not get sucked into the labor crew in any capacity.

However, finding myself looking out the window at my hubby hard at work yesterday as I sat inside contemplating what to do, I caved. I changed clothes, marched right out there and said, “What can I do to help?” A few moments later, there I was, brush in hand; yellow paint drops already appearing on my flip-flop clad feet, as I made my way down the line of buoys.

As I painted, fond memories assailed me of a line of buoys strung between 2 big fichus trees in the front yard. My brother, sister and I, adorned in “play clothes”, were anxious to paint blue circles on my dad’s buoys. My dad was a commercial fisherman and stone crabber at the time, and depending on the task and our skill level, we could occasionally provide cheap labor. However, if I remember correctly our great desire to work never lasted through many lines of buoys. I will have to remember to ask my dad if we gave up on them or if he and my grandfather just grew impatient with us and encouraged us to go play.

I do remember when the buoys first arrived, prior to the branding and painting, we would usually get into trouble due to the “buoy fights” we had with neighborhood kids. Yes, it was just as it sounds; everyone would grab a buoy and try to hit someone; if you were hit, you were out.

I remember the smell when dad would brand the buoys with his own set of numbers. It’s funny how that smell still evokes so many childhood memories.

My husband and I both have other careers, but this will be a “supplemental” one for him and I pray it proves to be fruitful. It is something he has always wanted to try. So, I have decided that instead of lamenting his longer hours, fearing the imagined problems, and distancing myself from it all, it is far better to jump in, support and even try to muster up some excitement about it.

But for now, I have buoys to paint.

line of buoys stretching to the sky

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Buoy, commerical fisherman, crab traps, crabbing, family life, fishing, Paint, Southwest Florida, stone crab, working hard

Empty nest but a full heart

October 10, 2013 6 Comments

As the curtains gently sway with the beautiful fall breeze on this quiet Thursday morning, I sit in the midst of the leftovers from the wedding; the items that they couldn’t quite squeeze into the very packed black Jetta now bound for Texas; the one with “just married” fading on the back window.

As I take a few moments to reflect on the past several days, I smile broadly and my heart warms. She said, “The wedding ceremony and the reception were everything I wanted them to be”. (and wasn’t that the goal?)

We were blessed before, during and after the wedding with friends and family who smoothed out the potential wrinkles prior to their occurring with their support, love and encouragement. During the wedding ceremony, love permeated the crowd; the love between the bride and groom and also the love felt for both of them by so many family members and friends who came to share in the joy of their nuptials.

This now official “empty nester” knows that days will come when the sense of loss brushes across her heart in large, sweeping strokes. But, at this moment I feel nothing but excitement and thankfulness; excitement about all that God has in store for them and thankfulness that another daughter has found love and happiness with her soul mate.

Yes, mom and dad may be all alone now but as the youngest takes that final leap and clears the nest; we will look on and smile knowing she has been equipped to soar.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: bridal, empty nest, God, love, mother of the bride, nuptials, October wedding, Relationships, Texas, wedding

This too (the chaos) shall pass

October 2, 2013 8 Comments

Morgan and a FL sunset

How did the time get away from me so quickly this morning? My daily routine was all out of whack and it wasn’t even 8:00am yet.

As my daughter reminded me that we had to drop off her car before her hair appointment, the phone rang, adding a few minutes more delay. Finally, I was in the car and on my way and then I saw him. Our elderly neighbor was slowly making his way to the side of the road, waving his hands up and down holding what appeared to be a card. I had to stop, even though I knew this would make me even later.

He had a card for the bride and groom, but expressed his apologies that he and his wife couldn’t attend the wedding. He hung in my passenger-side window and began to remind me of how my children used to plant flowers with them. As much as I knew I needed to go, I couldn’t. This little bit of conversation and the card and well wishes to my daughter were important to him and appreciated by me. He solicited a promise from me that I would remind my daughter of the times planting flowers and encourage her to teach her children to garden as well. As I made my way to pick up my daughter, I remember thinking about how fortunate I’ve been to have great neighbors and friends.

Fast forward past long appointments, crazy traffic, and Costco crowds, and “the list”; the one that never seems to shorten and once again, the stress level seemed to reach it’s almost breaking point. I just had to call my sister. Just hearing her voice helped right away and she began to remind of a few things.

First she said, it’s all going to work out and then she provoked me to remember; these emotions aren’t just about the many “to dos”, or even about the chaos of preparing for a wedding. More than anything, it’s the deep-down inside knowing that in a few days, my baby will be gone. I’m holding that part in, to deal with it later, alone, after all the relatives and friends return to their everyday lives.

With that realization, we both gushed fresh tears, but they were cleansing ones. They absolved my earlier guilt that said I couldn’t handle all of this planning and preparation without wanting to hide in my bedroom. She left me with a heartfelt prayer and hung up to begin cooking dinner for her family and mine. It’s the little things that mean so much.

I can’t even count the number of people who have called, emailed, messaged or sent word by a family member that they are there for me, if I need any help as “wedding day” looms closer. Then there are the wise voices of counsel that comfort and provide that faith bolstering word when things get overwhelming. And as for me, I’m smiling now as I write, although I still have tears. They are happy tears though. I’m so blessed with so many people who love me.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Bride, Bridesmaid, clock, Costco, Event Planning, Family, Mother, Parent, relationship, wedding

Dust bunnies and Diaries

September 30, 2013 4 Comments

Will I even miss the mess?

“My mom used to force us to do this at least twice a year”, I said, as we sifted through each and every item in her closet and drawers. My daughter is quite the packrat and I knew we had better take a day (and preferably a full one) before her move to Texas to dig in deep.

As we went through every box, purse, bag and crate piece by piece, she painstakingly decided which pile the item would make its home.

Memory after memory assaulted my mind as I tried to keep this a lighthearted event. There were the multiple pairs of Toms that she began wearing after her first trip to Mexico, when she learned she could supply another child with a pair if we bought them. This reminded me of how compassionate she has always been. There was the birthday card from Granny that still had the crisp $2 bills tucked inside that she had been saving; the tiny pee wee cheerleader uniform she once wore; the drum sticks that light up when you play from her days of drum lessons; the Dr. Seuss books, stuffed animals and old report cards.

She laughed as she opened an old diary and began to read. As I listened to the words written by a nine year old, describing her days in detail, the thing that brought me the most pleasure was the happiness reflected in her entries. So, as we laughed over silly diary entries and I again hid tears, we reflected on the past.

When you clean the cobwebs and dust bunnies from things long forgotten, it’s akin to cleaning the cobwebs from the recesses of your mind, or removing the layers of dust accumulated from years of not remembering.

Thankfully, my mind is alive tonight with so many beautiful memories that I had tucked away. It’s a joy and a pleasure to revisit them, to recall all the good times with my family.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Children Youth and Family, daughter, Diary, empty nest, Granny, memories, Mexico, Mother daughter relationship, Texas

Falling into a new season

September 29, 2013 6 Comments

“You’re gonna miss this, mom”, she says after I halfway scold her for one of her annoying habits of doing something to about 95% completion. And I know that she is right. That all too familiar constriction begins in my throat and I silently pray that I won’t be forced to speak any time soon. My eyes are damp too, but she won’t notice that from the next room. It’s not that I’m afraid to show my emotions; we’ve been a tangled mess of emotions over the past few weeks.

I’ve thought about it and written about, but now the time is here. Our youngest will leap headlong from the nest this coming Saturday and when she gets up and brushes herself off, she will have a new last name and a new protector.

If time permits and the words flow, I will share it all in the coming days, the ups and downs, the panic and the quiet and all the other pre-wedding drama.

I’ve always said that fall is my favorite season and it is, but I find myself wondering if now it will also represent the time of year that I fell into the “empty nest”.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Autumn, daughter, empty nest, life as a mom, Mother, new season, wedding

Weekly Writing Challenge: Dialogue

September 17, 2013 13 Comments

Poppy and Granny with Ashley (my youngest)

“Lee-see-o, Where are you?” I could hear my grandmothers voice growing louder the closer I got to her back porch. Granny, complete with silver bun and glasses, was easygoing and lenient, but when dusk fell it was time to go inside.

“Coming, Gran”, I would yell back as I begin to say my goodbyes as my friends also turned homeward.

Inside? Already? After all there were more cartwheels and handsprings to be attempted, games of tag left un-played and more stories to hear and to tell. Who wanted to go inside with two old people who didn’t own a television?

Well, I did. I could spin a yarn about how I hung my shoulders down and stuck my bottom lip out and lamented my horrible fate. But, it’s just not true.

I remember it more like this.

“Hey Granny!” I would say with a big grin spreading across my dirt-stained face. “Hey, doll baby, what did you get yourself into? Come on inside and let’s get you washed up”.

Poppy would be in his favorite chair, reading the newspaper, relaxing after his day as a fishing guide and tending to his garden when he got home. He didn’t talk as much as granny did, so all I would hear from him for a while was likely to be the rustling sound, as he turned the pages of his paper.

All clean and in my pj’s or jammies as we liked to call them, I would come back into the living room and Poppy would make some funny comment. He loved to tease his grandkids.

“Granny made chocolate pie”, I would her say in a sing-song voice from the little kitchen. She would cut me a hearty slice and we would begin to talk about my day. Granny always listened more like another kid instead of an adult. She looked at me, right in the eye, when I was speaking and she didn’t interrupt. She listened with seemingly rapt attention to every detail.

Of course, I didn’t realize as a child, how much adults can glean from our ramblings if they just pay attention. Yes, as I shared my heart, Granny was listening because she loved me, and also so she knew how to pray for me and others. When I reached my tumultuous teen years, I sometimes resented that she actually had a use for my freely given information, but her motives were always for my good.

Poppy, already having enjoyed his pie right after supper, would get up and give me a hug and a kiss goodnight to meet his early bedtime. As silly as it sounds, I can still feel the roughness of his cheek and smell that sweet, distinct smell of Poppy.

Oh what I would give to spend one more quiet, pie partaking, newspaper rustling evening with them. I crave the quiet, the conversation uninterrupted by various electronic devices, sharing the Sunday funnies, the hot tea mornings with toast and jelly.

Poppy is gone now and Granny’s mind isn’t what it used to be, but I treasure all the time I spent with them and the memories that seem like yesterday. I was blessed to have them and I pray that one day my grandchildren look back at time spent with me and my husband with as much fondness.

Weekly Writing Challenge: Dialogue (dailypost.wordpress.com)
Weekly Writing Challenge: Dialogue – Country Tale (teepee12.com)

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: children, Creative writing, Daily Post, dpchallenge, grandparents, listening, love, reminiscing

Daily Prompt: Regrets, I’ve had a few

September 6, 2013 5 Comments

What’s your biggest regret? How would your life have been different if you’d made another decision?

This prompt spoke to me in a big way this morning, causing me to reflect on my life thus far. I can’t say that I have one regret in particular and since I believe all things happen for a reason, I believe I am exactly where I am supposed to be today.

With that said, I have many regrets:

• The times I withheld forgiveness instead of forgiving freely and quickly and completely.
• The times I chose to clean house instead of making mud pies.
• Every minute I spent in the mirror criticizing my appearance, and especially the times in front of my girls.
• For the careless word spoken that wounded, sometimes deeply.
• The conversations I merely endured that should have been feasted upon.
• The years I spent running from God.
• The “I love you” left unspoken and the phone calls never made.
• Every hour wasted on hatred, jealousy, anger and strife.

And finally, the time I have spent dwelling on past regrets instead of choosing to leap past them, learn from them and strive to live out the remainder of this life with fewer of them.

This was a great writing prompt and it’s good to force yourself to think back sometimes and glean from past mistakes, to remember where you came from and who you have become. Of most importance though is to move forward and live this beautiful life out loud, with great expectations, faith and hope. May we all fully implement the lessons learned that they never influence our lives negatively again.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational, Photography Tagged With: Bible, children, Christianity, God, motherhood, regret, Religion and Spirituality, Sin

Retro rainy day

September 2, 2013 4 Comments

Vintage lady bug radio

A symphony of rain cascades down from skies that were blue only moments ago. It’s as if there is a drummer at each window and one on the roof above, each playing from a different set of music, yet somehow blending into a most worthy concert.

As the rain falls, I sit, pen in hand, drowsy gaze resting on my 2 day old pink pedicure. I smile, suddenly catching a glimpse (in my memory’s eye) of my mom brushing the last stroke of her favorite mauve shade on her toenails. She looks up at me and says, “How’s the book?” “It’s great, hard to put down”, I say as I back away, the heavy scent of nail polish assailing my sensitive nostrils. Mom and I shared a great love for reading, so she understood my brevity.

I step inside the room I share with my younger sister, adjust the Holly Hobbie curtains to let some more light in, and resume my devouring of “The Hobbit”.

Across the hall , a towheaded little boy sporting a coon skin cap bought on vacation in the Great Smoky Mountains, and a red-headed little girl, lie on their stomachs on the “groovy gold” shag carpeting. They are surrounded by an army of “Best of the West” figures, set complete with Johnny West, Geronimo and General Custer.

Soon I hear the sound of dishes as mom begins dinner preparations and I turn on my little am radio, which is sitting on the Holly Hobbie table between our twin, Holly Hobbie spread laden beds. The radio was a lady bug and the wings opened when I turned it on. It was one of my most prized possessions at the time.

Music playing and all was right and peaceful in my pubescent world, not a care on my mind. Reading while the rain fell outside was one of my favorite things. The hard thing would be leaving my book when Dad arrived and dinner was on the table.

As I snap back to the present, the rain has ceased. I’m thankful for a few wonderful moments caught up in seemingly austere, but precious childhood memories.

Holly Hobbie Sheets (creoleindc.typepad.com)

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: 70s, childhood, Geronimo, Great Smoky Mountains, growing up in the 70s, Hobbit, Holly Hobbie, Johnny West, ladybug radio, memories, Rain, retro, vintage

Mistaken identity

August 26, 2013 5 Comments

I was about half a mile through my walk when I saw them in the distance. There were three of them, rather large, down a darkened path on the corner I was approaching. One was definitely black and another appeared to be a black and white mottled color. This was strange because I didn’t know anyone who had dogs fitting this description in my neighborhood.

My heart began to race and I knew the smartest thing to do was turn around as quietly as I could and head for home, hoping they hadn’t noticed me. One unknown dog is bad enough, but three could have dire consequences. I turned around and walked quickly toward home, glancing back a time or two to make sure I wasn’t being pursued by a pack of dogs.

All the while I was getting angrier and angrier. How dare people let their big dogs out to run around without any supervision when I was trying to get my daily exercise? This walk was my sanity and now it was getting cut short due to someone’s negligence. I planned and plotted in my head what I would say to the owner, the heated post I could make on Facebook. So much for the calming effects this walk usually affords.

Whenever I got home, I explained to my husband why I was back so quickly. He, being my protector and all, said he would find out who they belonged to and talk to them. Later that day, after he had spoken with the closest neighbor to where I had spotted the dogs, we still knew nothing. She didn’t have big dogs and didn’t know who they might have belonged to.

The next day, my desire to walk won over my fear of encountering them again, and thankfully, I haven’t. All I could surmise was that perhaps they were just visiting with someone or lost and they were long gone.

Imagine my surprise today when my husband comes in the house with a big smile on his face and asked me if it were possible that the “dogs” were goats? He saw the neighbor again and she said there were some goats nearby that had been getting out of the fence. The animals that I saw were on the outside of the fence looking in, almost like they wanted to get back in. I had no idea anyone nearby even owned goats, so never would have considered that a possibility.

One thing I have to admit is that my eyesight isn’t what it used to be. As I’ve said many times, I love my forties and yes, I even love that I can laugh at myself and share embarrassing moments. However, I do miss my 20/20 vision and looking back on that day, it infuriates me that I lost so much peace over goats!

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Animal Welfare, Dog, eyesight, Facebook, Goat, Livestock, Pets, Recreation, vision, walk

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words break my heart

August 23, 2013 2 Comments

I heard the rain long before I saw it pounding on the roof inside Wal-Mart. It was so loud people were actually looking up and around as if they might actually catch a glimpse of it. When I arrived at the exit, pushing my grocery laden cart ahead of me, I just looked out in dismay. This was no ordinary Florida afternoon storm, the rain was sideways and the parking lot already flooded.

Finally, I made it to the car, flip flops soaked and my umbrella threatening to fly away or pull my arm out of socket. The wind was incredible. Common sense was telling me I shouldn’t even drive in it; just stay parked and wait it out. But, my body was saying “homeward bound”. I eased out onto the highway about the time it appeared to slack up, or so it seemed. As soon as I had accelerated and was progressing toward home, there came a deluge.

I saw a truck coming up fast behind me and as the driver began to ride my bumper, I put my blinker on, pulled over and let Mr. “I’ll probably kill someone with my driving” proceed. I watched in amazement, although not too clearly as it was still pouring, as he passed vehicles ahead of me, when I knew he couldn’t see far enough in front of himself to do so safely.

As I slowed down and waited to see lights and a crash ahead, I thought about bullies once again for about the tenth time this week. He was a “road bully”, the kind who wants to be in charge of the road and punish and taunt those who drive slower than them by racing by while shaking their head, as if they’ve accomplished some great feat.

Since my husband and I watched a movie on bullying the other day, I have been unable to shake the topic from my mind. I don’t remember ever being bullied and I was taught not to bully people, or make fun of others for any reason. My parents were very strict about that and I am thankful.

It seems like the traditional bully has changed into a whole new breed. When I was in school, I remember a few and none of them fit the image of the one you see portrayed in older movies. I don’t ever remember anyone stealing lunch money or beating someone up because they wouldn’t do their homework.

There was the “athlete bully”, who thought they were the best at everything sports oriented and would hog the ball and shove people around or criticize their efforts. This person rarely had the grades or the motivation and dedication to actually play a sport.

There was the “boyfriend bully” who thought she got first dibs on any new guy at school. If this poor unsuspecting creature ended up liking someone else, it was usually bad news for the object of his affection. This gal rarely got the guy, but it was always someone else’s fault; it couldn’t possibly have been because jealousy and hatred marred her personality so.

There was always the “bully on the bus” who forced others out of whatever seat he wanted and made what should have been an uneventful ride home from school, miserable for several. Fortunately this one was typically suspended from the bus before the school year was over.

I think in recent years, bullying can be so much more subtle and due to technology, sneaky and hidden. Kids have grown smarter and teachers sometimes have their hands tied because if they try to discipline, they are often targeted instead of supported, which is sad.

The bullying now also seems to be more emotional and less physical in some situations. Words can hurt just as much or more than a fist and their effects can linger a lifetime. Whereas fighting is seen and punished (hopefully), words and looks can demean just as easily, with a much lower percentage of ever getting caught. The bullies can easily recruit hateful, spineless minions who support them via Facebook, Instagram, Vine or whatever media they used to attack their victim.

Kids do unfortunately take to heart much of what is said to them or about them. Their reactions and the damage others can cause, is often dependent on their personalities and their self-image. Those of you with children know exactly what I mean. That is why it’s so important that your own children or those who you know and care about hear your praise and know that they are loved and were created for a purpose; that they are unique and shouldn’t feel pressured to be like anyone else.

I wish we had all the answers, but we don’t. What we can do is pray for the bullying to cease, pay attention to the children we love and watch for signs of it and take an active role in preventing it in any situation that you can.

“If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressor. If an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse, and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality.” ― Desmond Tutu

Bullying (hollbrock.wordpress.com)
What if I’m Being Bullied? (illustrationstoencourage.wordpress.com)

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: bad drivers, bullies, bullying, Desmond Tutu, hatefulness, jealousy, love your children, Violence and Abuse

Painting in circles

Empty nest but a full heart

This too (the chaos) shall pass

Dust bunnies and Diaries

Falling into a new season

Weekly Writing Challenge: Dialogue

Daily Prompt: Regrets, I’ve had a few

Retro rainy day

Mistaken identity

Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words break my heart

Goodreads

Show me some love

These things keep coming up!

Archives

Follow Blog via Email

Check out some of my most popular photos and ramblings

Blogs I Follow

How many people have stopped by to check it out?

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Share this:

Related articles

Share this:

Share this:

Related articles

Share this:

Share this:

Related articles

Share this:

Goodreads

These things keep coming up!

Archives

Follow Blog via Email

Check out some of my most popular photos and ramblings

Blogs I Follow

How many people have stopped by to check it out?