Family and Home – Long walks and dark chocolate

Thankfulness in forward motion

November 3, 2013 Leave a Comment

On this third day of November, I have already noticed all of the “what I’m thankful for” posts on Facebook. I surmise that because November is the month of Thanksgiving, we are reminded of all the things that we sometimes take for granted. It’s encouraging and uplifting to see so many people thoughtfully posting their thanks throughout the month of November.

We are a blessed nation, even in the midst of some of our circumstances. However, I want to encourage all of you, my friends, that as we are thankful, as we express our gratefulness we would be mindful that this is a difficult month for many. As the holidays approach, there are those without family, those who are estranged from their families and those who aren’t feeling too particularly thankful at this time in their life.

I pray that we make it our business to search out, to find out who these people are in our neighborhoods. My hope is that as part of the demonstration of our thankfulness, we would reach out and somehow provide that feeling of home and comfort to the aged, the lonely and the downcast.

Many of us will bake and decorate, and our homes will smell of cinnamon and spices; we will surround ourselves with family and friends and feel that “thankful” spirit for our fellowship. Let’s spread it around; let’s be mindful of those less fortunate.

We can do this by our prayers and by giving, but it’s also in the simple knock on the door of a shut-in or a hot apple pie delivered to someone who might not be able to see well enough to do all the baking they once enjoyed.

Please feel free to share what your plans are to give back or things that you and your family have done in years past to share the love.

If we all just reach one, there would be hundreds of smiles that might not be possible otherwise.

Love, Prayers and Happy November!

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Apple pie, Children and Youth, Facebook, Gratitude, Holidays, Home, nablopomo, November, postaday, Thanksgiving

Thinking and thanking

October 21, 2013 Leave a Comment

spaghetti-squash-with-parmesan-cheese (Photo credit: famfriendsfood)

The smell of bacon permeates my kitchen as it pops and splatters noisily in the pan. Tonight is one of those “force yourself to put one foot in front of the other; just hurry up and get it all done so you can relax” kind of nights Tonight I find myself lamenting the fact that I pulled out new recipes to try, but stubborn enough to try them anyway. My back is achy because my job in front of a computer all day was a tense one and I can’t wait to hop in a warm shower. At least there is an extra piece of bacon I can munch on as I continue cooking.

Today has been the kind of day where I had to choose to make a conscious effort to see the positive, to choose happy. Throughout the day I reminded myself, “this too shall pass” and “you are blessed to have a job”. As time rolled around for dinner preparation, “I am thankful I have food to cook”.

By the time I pulled the spaghetti squash out of the oven and started removing the tender threads, my mood was already elevating. I don’t know what it was; the smell of the yummy food, the call from my husband (because once again our wedding song is playing on the radio and he likes to play it for me), the message from a friend, or a combination of it all. I just know I stopped and remembered to be grateful. Sometimes you just have to turn off the distractions and take a few moments to realize what you already know.

The truth washes over me afresh, that there are so many people out there who would see one of my “bad days” as one of their “very good” days. The truth stings as I begin to think about those people and some of their situations.

Something to think about as you reflect on your Monday.

Spaghetti Carbonara (splendidrecipes.wordpress.com)

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Cook, Cooking, Family, food, happiness, Home, love, mood, think positive

Not my usual Friday

October 18, 2013 3 Comments

Today dawned cool and quiet (well cool for SW FL) and after coffee, prayer and devotions, I was ready for whatever came my way.

My eldest called and we chatted about her family’s healthy eating and her participation in the Spartan Race tomorrow. She is one of those Crossfit crazed people, but whatever keeps her motivated sounds good to me. I mention this because later it would inspire me to dig deep.

I blogged a few days ago in “Painting in Circles”, about helping out my husband with his new venture into stone crabbing. Today he needed help loading several hundred crap traps onto a trailer, hauling them to the local fish house where he will sell his crabs and unloading them once there. They would be “poured” today with cement. (to help them sink)

Of course I offered to help and he gladly accepted since most of his friends were working or otherwise engaged today. Loading the first 200 or so was easy – I loaded onto the trailer while he stacked them. We drove slowly over to the unloading site and I began unloading as he prepared the rows and lined them up properly. I was easily lifting three at a time and stacking away, pretending at times that I was doing crossfit; bending at the knees, careful not to overextend, staying hydrated.

Before I knew it, we were getting back into the truck to come and get another load. My nephew who was helping us, would stay there and continue lining up the traps in neat rows, readying them for the concrete. I was hot and my elbow (the one with a tad of tendonitis was stinging), but all in all, I wasn’t much worse for wear. We loaded another 220 quickly and went back to unload. I’m not going to lie, I was getting tired of playing crossfit by now in the now 90 degree heat and began working harder and faster to finish the now grueling task.

We got that done and headed back for the remaining 90 or so which we loaded right away. “Babe, are you coming back over there with me”, he asked. “Well, I really need to get some laundry done”, I replied, doing my best to look tired and pitiful. He thanked me for the help, kissed me and rushed off to finish the job.

The ice cold air greeted me like a long lost friend as I opened the front door. My shower felt like a blessing from heaven and last nights left-overs satisfied my hunger and made me want to go to take a nap. Since I know what I put my body through today, I went ahead and took a pre-“onset of pain” Advil. It’s not that I don’t work out, walk and try to be healthy, but I used arm muscles today that I haven’t used since I carried a baby around.

After a glass of refreshing iced tea, I got a second wind and proceeded to finish a little wreath project I started the other day. Now, I am feeling accomplished and awash with that good tired, the kind where everything aches a little but it’s okay because you got stuff done.

With all that said, I will leave you with a picture of my wreath and I welcome any comments good or bad. For those of you who have followed me for a while, you know I don’t always have the best of luck with crafty things. You won’t hurt my feelings if you provide some corrective criticism for my next one. Good night and sweet dreams. I will be probably be dreaming about lifting something.

Owl fall wreath

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: crabbing, crafting, CrossFit, fall, owls, Physical exercise, traps

Rollin’ on back to Funky town

October 17, 2013 2 Comments

I could smell the leather and feel the wheels beneath my feet as I looked at the picture my aunt posted the other day. It portrayed several rows of roller skates, all lined up ready for rental; the old brown ones with orange wheels.

It took me back to a time in my life when I was precariously perched at the beginning of my teenage years, ready to dive in and begin the years that often felt like a roller coaster as my body and mind sped towards adulthood.

Often during this time of my life, my sister and I would pack up an overnight bag and head to my aunt’s house on Friday after school to begin a weekend of fun with our young, beautiful, hip aunt and her two daughters. Selfishly, I was thankful that my uncle spent a lot of time hunting. Therefore many times we had them all to ourselves. The weekend was usually spent at the movies, beach, mall and my favorite; the skating rink.

We would make a big deal out of getting ready to “go out” Friday night. I’m not sure if my aunt knew this or if this post will give me away, but I used to “borrow” from her makeup and there was a drawer which housed a particular hand cream that I know we weren’t supposed to use. I think it was called “pretty feet and hands”. It was an amazing thing to me at the time; it claimed to remove all the dead skin cells and when you applied and rubbed hands together, you did indeed get balls of something that resembled dead skin, so maybe it was. I just know I used way too much of it and always felt guilty about it. Obviously not bad enough to tell on myself or stop, but in my defense I was young and the forbidden was attractive.

After we primped and studied ourselves in the mirror, we were off to Skate land. We went so often that we all had our own skates so we got in and were ready to roll pretty quickly! We raced, slow skated, ate soft pretzels with mustard and flirted (well, maybe I was the only one who did that). We usually stayed until closing and I don’t ever remember wanting to leave.

The highlight of the afternoon or night session for me was always the “couples skate” (provided someone asked me to skate), but I loved the entire experience. I remember feeling cool as I skated backwards to “Funky town” or “Le Freak” in my black “hockey boots”, or holding hands as I circled the rink with someone to “Reunited”, or speed skating to “Another One Bites the Dust”.

Ahh, such wonderful memories and I had the plus of always having my cool aunt right there for any advice regarding hair, makeup and boys.

We would go home, tired but happy and snack on Entenmann’s donuts; the kind with the crumbly stuff on top, with nary a thought about our waistlines. We laughed and talked and made our plans for the next day, then drug out extra blankets and pillows so we girls could all sleep on the living room floor together.

My sister had the bright idea the other day to go skating. I told her I didn’t think I should risk the broken bones after all these years. Besides, the rentals are always wobbly; I know this because I tried them a few times after my skating phase had passed and I sold mine.

Now, I’m wondering if I’m just afraid it wouldn’t be the same; or if maybe I like those memories as they are and would rather keep them tucked away unchanged and unbeaten by new skating memories.

Skates Buying Guide (walmart.com)
Skating rink re-opening after 30 years (ocala.com)

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: 70s, 80s, good times, Music, Roller skates, rollerskating, skating, skating rink

Painting in circles

October 15, 2013 3 Comments

Yesterday I did something I haven’t done in approximately 35 years. I painted buoys that will be used on our recently acquired stone crab traps. I have really tried to distance myself from this particular venture and vowed inwardly that I would not get sucked into the labor crew in any capacity.

However, finding myself looking out the window at my hubby hard at work yesterday as I sat inside contemplating what to do, I caved. I changed clothes, marched right out there and said, “What can I do to help?” A few moments later, there I was, brush in hand; yellow paint drops already appearing on my flip-flop clad feet, as I made my way down the line of buoys.

As I painted, fond memories assailed me of a line of buoys strung between 2 big fichus trees in the front yard. My brother, sister and I, adorned in “play clothes”, were anxious to paint blue circles on my dad’s buoys. My dad was a commercial fisherman and stone crabber at the time, and depending on the task and our skill level, we could occasionally provide cheap labor. However, if I remember correctly our great desire to work never lasted through many lines of buoys. I will have to remember to ask my dad if we gave up on them or if he and my grandfather just grew impatient with us and encouraged us to go play.

I do remember when the buoys first arrived, prior to the branding and painting, we would usually get into trouble due to the “buoy fights” we had with neighborhood kids. Yes, it was just as it sounds; everyone would grab a buoy and try to hit someone; if you were hit, you were out.

I remember the smell when dad would brand the buoys with his own set of numbers. It’s funny how that smell still evokes so many childhood memories.

My husband and I both have other careers, but this will be a “supplemental” one for him and I pray it proves to be fruitful. It is something he has always wanted to try. So, I have decided that instead of lamenting his longer hours, fearing the imagined problems, and distancing myself from it all, it is far better to jump in, support and even try to muster up some excitement about it.

But for now, I have buoys to paint.

line of buoys stretching to the sky

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Buoy, commerical fisherman, crab traps, crabbing, family life, fishing, Paint, Southwest Florida, stone crab, working hard

Empty nest but a full heart

October 10, 2013 6 Comments

As the curtains gently sway with the beautiful fall breeze on this quiet Thursday morning, I sit in the midst of the leftovers from the wedding; the items that they couldn’t quite squeeze into the very packed black Jetta now bound for Texas; the one with “just married” fading on the back window.

As I take a few moments to reflect on the past several days, I smile broadly and my heart warms. She said, “The wedding ceremony and the reception were everything I wanted them to be”. (and wasn’t that the goal?)

We were blessed before, during and after the wedding with friends and family who smoothed out the potential wrinkles prior to their occurring with their support, love and encouragement. During the wedding ceremony, love permeated the crowd; the love between the bride and groom and also the love felt for both of them by so many family members and friends who came to share in the joy of their nuptials.

This now official “empty nester” knows that days will come when the sense of loss brushes across her heart in large, sweeping strokes. But, at this moment I feel nothing but excitement and thankfulness; excitement about all that God has in store for them and thankfulness that another daughter has found love and happiness with her soul mate.

Yes, mom and dad may be all alone now but as the youngest takes that final leap and clears the nest; we will look on and smile knowing she has been equipped to soar.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: bridal, empty nest, God, love, mother of the bride, nuptials, October wedding, Relationships, Texas, wedding

This too (the chaos) shall pass

October 2, 2013 8 Comments

Morgan and a FL sunset

How did the time get away from me so quickly this morning? My daily routine was all out of whack and it wasn’t even 8:00am yet.

As my daughter reminded me that we had to drop off her car before her hair appointment, the phone rang, adding a few minutes more delay. Finally, I was in the car and on my way and then I saw him. Our elderly neighbor was slowly making his way to the side of the road, waving his hands up and down holding what appeared to be a card. I had to stop, even though I knew this would make me even later.

He had a card for the bride and groom, but expressed his apologies that he and his wife couldn’t attend the wedding. He hung in my passenger-side window and began to remind me of how my children used to plant flowers with them. As much as I knew I needed to go, I couldn’t. This little bit of conversation and the card and well wishes to my daughter were important to him and appreciated by me. He solicited a promise from me that I would remind my daughter of the times planting flowers and encourage her to teach her children to garden as well. As I made my way to pick up my daughter, I remember thinking about how fortunate I’ve been to have great neighbors and friends.

Fast forward past long appointments, crazy traffic, and Costco crowds, and “the list”; the one that never seems to shorten and once again, the stress level seemed to reach it’s almost breaking point. I just had to call my sister. Just hearing her voice helped right away and she began to remind of a few things.

First she said, it’s all going to work out and then she provoked me to remember; these emotions aren’t just about the many “to dos”, or even about the chaos of preparing for a wedding. More than anything, it’s the deep-down inside knowing that in a few days, my baby will be gone. I’m holding that part in, to deal with it later, alone, after all the relatives and friends return to their everyday lives.

With that realization, we both gushed fresh tears, but they were cleansing ones. They absolved my earlier guilt that said I couldn’t handle all of this planning and preparation without wanting to hide in my bedroom. She left me with a heartfelt prayer and hung up to begin cooking dinner for her family and mine. It’s the little things that mean so much.

I can’t even count the number of people who have called, emailed, messaged or sent word by a family member that they are there for me, if I need any help as “wedding day” looms closer. Then there are the wise voices of counsel that comfort and provide that faith bolstering word when things get overwhelming. And as for me, I’m smiling now as I write, although I still have tears. They are happy tears though. I’m so blessed with so many people who love me.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Bride, Bridesmaid, clock, Costco, Event Planning, Family, Mother, Parent, relationship, wedding

Dust bunnies and Diaries

September 30, 2013 4 Comments

Will I even miss the mess?

“My mom used to force us to do this at least twice a year”, I said, as we sifted through each and every item in her closet and drawers. My daughter is quite the packrat and I knew we had better take a day (and preferably a full one) before her move to Texas to dig in deep.

As we went through every box, purse, bag and crate piece by piece, she painstakingly decided which pile the item would make its home.

Memory after memory assaulted my mind as I tried to keep this a lighthearted event. There were the multiple pairs of Toms that she began wearing after her first trip to Mexico, when she learned she could supply another child with a pair if we bought them. This reminded me of how compassionate she has always been. There was the birthday card from Granny that still had the crisp $2 bills tucked inside that she had been saving; the tiny pee wee cheerleader uniform she once wore; the drum sticks that light up when you play from her days of drum lessons; the Dr. Seuss books, stuffed animals and old report cards.

She laughed as she opened an old diary and began to read. As I listened to the words written by a nine year old, describing her days in detail, the thing that brought me the most pleasure was the happiness reflected in her entries. So, as we laughed over silly diary entries and I again hid tears, we reflected on the past.

When you clean the cobwebs and dust bunnies from things long forgotten, it’s akin to cleaning the cobwebs from the recesses of your mind, or removing the layers of dust accumulated from years of not remembering.

Thankfully, my mind is alive tonight with so many beautiful memories that I had tucked away. It’s a joy and a pleasure to revisit them, to recall all the good times with my family.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Children Youth and Family, daughter, Diary, empty nest, Granny, memories, Mexico, Mother daughter relationship, Texas

Falling into a new season

September 29, 2013 6 Comments

“You’re gonna miss this, mom”, she says after I halfway scold her for one of her annoying habits of doing something to about 95% completion. And I know that she is right. That all too familiar constriction begins in my throat and I silently pray that I won’t be forced to speak any time soon. My eyes are damp too, but she won’t notice that from the next room. It’s not that I’m afraid to show my emotions; we’ve been a tangled mess of emotions over the past few weeks.

I’ve thought about it and written about, but now the time is here. Our youngest will leap headlong from the nest this coming Saturday and when she gets up and brushes herself off, she will have a new last name and a new protector.

If time permits and the words flow, I will share it all in the coming days, the ups and downs, the panic and the quiet and all the other pre-wedding drama.

I’ve always said that fall is my favorite season and it is, but I find myself wondering if now it will also represent the time of year that I fell into the “empty nest”.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Autumn, daughter, empty nest, life as a mom, Mother, new season, wedding

Weekly Writing Challenge: Dialogue

September 17, 2013 13 Comments

Poppy and Granny with Ashley (my youngest)

“Lee-see-o, Where are you?” I could hear my grandmothers voice growing louder the closer I got to her back porch. Granny, complete with silver bun and glasses, was easygoing and lenient, but when dusk fell it was time to go inside.

“Coming, Gran”, I would yell back as I begin to say my goodbyes as my friends also turned homeward.

Inside? Already? After all there were more cartwheels and handsprings to be attempted, games of tag left un-played and more stories to hear and to tell. Who wanted to go inside with two old people who didn’t own a television?

Well, I did. I could spin a yarn about how I hung my shoulders down and stuck my bottom lip out and lamented my horrible fate. But, it’s just not true.

I remember it more like this.

“Hey Granny!” I would say with a big grin spreading across my dirt-stained face. “Hey, doll baby, what did you get yourself into? Come on inside and let’s get you washed up”.

Poppy would be in his favorite chair, reading the newspaper, relaxing after his day as a fishing guide and tending to his garden when he got home. He didn’t talk as much as granny did, so all I would hear from him for a while was likely to be the rustling sound, as he turned the pages of his paper.

All clean and in my pj’s or jammies as we liked to call them, I would come back into the living room and Poppy would make some funny comment. He loved to tease his grandkids.

“Granny made chocolate pie”, I would her say in a sing-song voice from the little kitchen. She would cut me a hearty slice and we would begin to talk about my day. Granny always listened more like another kid instead of an adult. She looked at me, right in the eye, when I was speaking and she didn’t interrupt. She listened with seemingly rapt attention to every detail.

Of course, I didn’t realize as a child, how much adults can glean from our ramblings if they just pay attention. Yes, as I shared my heart, Granny was listening because she loved me, and also so she knew how to pray for me and others. When I reached my tumultuous teen years, I sometimes resented that she actually had a use for my freely given information, but her motives were always for my good.

Poppy, already having enjoyed his pie right after supper, would get up and give me a hug and a kiss goodnight to meet his early bedtime. As silly as it sounds, I can still feel the roughness of his cheek and smell that sweet, distinct smell of Poppy.

Oh what I would give to spend one more quiet, pie partaking, newspaper rustling evening with them. I crave the quiet, the conversation uninterrupted by various electronic devices, sharing the Sunday funnies, the hot tea mornings with toast and jelly.

Poppy is gone now and Granny’s mind isn’t what it used to be, but I treasure all the time I spent with them and the memories that seem like yesterday. I was blessed to have them and I pray that one day my grandchildren look back at time spent with me and my husband with as much fondness.