Warning signs

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As I opened up the mirrored door on my closet, I caught a glimpse of my downcast expression.  As I began to reflect on my mood at such an early morning hour, I stopped what I was doing.  At that moment, I knew one thing.  All cleaning had to cease and desist.  A navy dress in mid-air about to meet its hangar home was tossed into the heap of clothing.

I was compelled by an overwhelming desire for my knees to hit the floor and His ears to hear my heart.  I had to meet with my King and the sooner the better.

The signs are always obvious.  I have been acquainted with them for years.  My thinking turns dark, bleak and negative, or my mood plummets, or my reactions to others become sarcastic or haughty, or I may just feel somewhat hopeless about something.  There are other indicators, but these are some I recognize right away.

At this point, I can choose to obey the signs and heed the direction they are leading me or find myself lost, anxious and floundering until I backtrack to what I knew to be the right course from the outset.  This time, I do the right thing and soon find myself in my office on the floor.

Why do we sometimes ignore the signs and symptoms that our joy is being stolen, our hope is fading and our faith is weak?  I believe the biggest reason is our busyness.  We neglect to pencil in the time on our already too-full, appointment laden calendars for God.  Our most important appointment, the one that should be the springboard for all other appointments, is missing.

As God continues to deal with me about this, I know this…

When He isn’t in first place, nothing falls into place.

As I poured out my heart to Him this morning and the joy, that only He can give, flooded my soul, I was reminded once again why I set my clock early (on most mornings).  The day that is bathed in prayer while the sun still sleeps, is a day that brings with it the peace and courage to face whatever might come my way.  It’s a day faced with renewed faith and strength.  Most importantly, it’s a day where I have once again relinquished control and chose to place it in His all-knowing, ever-loving hands.

It’s a bad day, not a bad life

Flowers in NC park

The alarm woke me up angrily as if to say there is no time to spare, not another blink of sleep is to occur on my watch!  The door reached out to clobber me in the side of my head as I dragged a less than cooperative body to the bathroom.  The water was cold as it bitterly splashed my awakening skin, and my eyes simply refused to focus properly; then the scale was particularly hateful.

Off to the kitchen where the red light on my keurig flashed impatiently, shouting, “refresh me or else”!

Finally seated in front of my computer, I attempted to begin my work day.  Of course on days like this, fingers fail to move where your mind tells them to go and logins are incorrect.

It was as if my blood pressure was rising while my patience was waning and it wasn’t yet 6:00am.

As the day schlepped on, ever so slowly, it was one irritating thing after another.  There was the way my bank (for reasons still unclear to me) locked out my online banking feature, and the only way that I could prove that I truly was who I proclaimed to be was by me knowing the amount and date of my very last transaction.

This may seem a walk in the park to you, but since I was dealing with my hubby’s business account, I knew my getting this right was as likely as him remembering to tell me he even used the card; therefore, highly unlikely.  I was so amazed when the last receipt he had thrown in a crumpled up pile on the counter actually matched.  I could have cried tears of joy!  Yes!  I had received my first miracle of the day.

Even after this turn of events, my mood continued to darken and my appetite threatened to destroy my resolve against all things unhealthy.  My husband and daughter felt the tumultuous waves of my hormonal raging.  I even had to make one apology…harrumph!

About this time one of my co-workers and I were discussing a timeline for a future fix and something she said shook my resolve to be angry today.  I made a negative comment and she said, “hey, you’re always the positive one”.  Ouch!  God was showing me, crystal clear, that my attitude needed adjusting.  But, I didn’t heed at that point; I was too deep in the yuck-mode.

Later, once I got off work and sat basking in the afternoon sun, remembering that today is my Friday, I looked back on today and actually smiled.  Okay, I admit it was one of those wimpy, embarrassed smiles, but it was a smile nonetheless.

Somehow, at that point, I quickly repented for my negativity and forced myself to realize (once again)  all that I have to be thankful for in life.  I heard the words, “it’s a bad day, not a bad life” resonate from somewhere deep within.

Yes, I can blame SOME of it on hormones, but this selfishness, thinking it’s all about me, forgetting the blessings, is something I feel I will be blogging about over and over until I get it.  And, then maybe I will continue until others get it as well.  If you’ve had a bad day, get alone somewhere quiet, say a prayer, read a verse, breath in and out and begin to count those blessings.  It will do you good!

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