Laughing with Mother

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Mom loved getting cards!

With vivid clarity, I can remember her laughter coming from the other side of the Hallmark aisle, where she had found a card funnier than the one we had just shared a laugh over.   She would say, “We better stop laughing so loud, or they are going to kick us out of here”.  My sister will remember the good times in the Hallmark stores with Mother too.  She loved cards, loved giving and receiving them and we could spend half an hour finding funny ones and reading them aloud to each other.  Then, we would get the giggles and with tears coming from our eyes and our bellies sore from laughing, we would finally move on to another store.

This is just one of the memories I cherish with Mother, who went home to be with the Lord almost 20 years ago.

A couple of days ago, when I walked the aisles of the card store, picking out cards, I felt that old, familiar pang of loss like I always do around Mother’s Day and several other times throughout the year.  You don’t ever stop missing a presence that made your world brighter.  My mom was like a ray of sweet sunshine and anyone who knew her can attest to that.

So, for those missing your mom on this special day, who like me, have already experienced their departure from this world, take time to honor their memory today.  Look at old pictures, laugh, reminisce.  You can have one of those downright ugly cries and use a whole box of tissues if you need to.   But when you’re done, get up and honor that memory by being the best mom you can be.

For those of you who have lost children or desperately long for them and are unable to bear them, my heart breaks for you and I pray God’s peace and presence with you on this day and always. If you don’t have children of your own, or yours are grown and gone, there are plenty in this world that need a mother figure to guide them.  Surely there is one out there, just waiting and yearning for your nurturing.  God instilled that nurturing in us and we can greatly impact this world if we share it freely and broadly.

And for those of you who don’t know your mother, don’t feel like you have one or maybe your childhood wasn’t like the ones you dreamed about; God bless you!  And in the words of my daughter last night at dinner, “Jesus can be a mother or father to anyone who needs Him to be”.   Yes He can.  He can fulfill any desire that your heart is longing for.

Happy Mother’s Day my friends.  Enjoy!

 

 

Daily Prompt: Contrast

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The Daily Prompt was to write a post in response to the word “contrast”.  Here is my humble offering. (and this isn’t about anyone I know, just made it up)

He could be unpleasant, but she was a dear

How they ended up united remained quite unclear

She was charming and gracious, always polite

He was quiet, and none too appealing by sight

But oh how they loved and no matter the weather

Contrasting characters but together forever

Daily Prompt: Divide

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After work today, when I clicked on the Daily post and saw that the Prompt was to write a post using the word Divide, I headed outside.  I wanted to park myself in my chair and enjoy this already spring-like SW FL weather and meditate on the topic and see what transpired…..

In this season of political uncertainty, amidst the myriad major issues facing not just our beloved United States, but the entire world, can we just stop for a minute?

Can we take a moment to remove our focus from the voices telling us the numerous reasons we should be divided and instead remember all that we have in common?  Social media and the news media are ripe with ideas on how to tear each other apart, but who says we have to buy into the hate and the drama?

We are all humans; we have a heart, mind, body and soul, with warm rich blood flowing through our veins.  We all have feelings, even though we may express them differently.  We were all created in the image of God, our Divine Creator.

Let’s love one another.  Who knows what tomorrow will bring?

This may seem a little too maudlin for some, but it’s what’s on my heart.  Peace.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.  I Corinthians 13:4-8

Costco conflict

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The lady was rude; there was no doubt about that. She was rude in a way that made me physically hurt for the person the rudeness was directed to. My much younger companion, the victim of the remark, swallowed the bait and bit back, with a snotty retort, more to assuage her wounded pride than anything else. I wanted to hide under my shopping cart.

“Just walk away, I pleaded. It’s not worth it, she is an elder, and she may have recently lost her husband or something equally traumatic. I didn’t raise you to behave this way.” Alas, there is only so much you can say to an adult child.

My youngest responded, loudly enough for everyone on the same aisle to hear her “Well, I will report her to management for how she is treating customers, then.” I was mortified as I felt the stares. I loathe confrontation to begin with, and I certainly didn’t like the unforgiving spirit I saw in my precious woman-child. She continued to mumble and complain about Costco and how it’s too full of people and she was never going back as I wondered who she really belonged to and how I could get her out of there before she blew a gasket.

Gently and cautiously, I continued to suggest reasons people behave insensitively and how we give them the benefit of the doubt. She calmed down but when we got close to check-out, she said, “I’m still reporting her”, but I noticed she smiled when she said it. Then she said, “I tell you what, Mom, buy me a hot dog and I won’t say anything.” I said, “Done, while I reached into my wallet and grabbed a bill”.

This was her way of pleasing me without having to admit she had lost the zeal to persecute. This made it look like I had to bribe her to keep her from doing the deed, but she knows I would have bought her the $1 hot dog, either way. I’m calling it a win.

Who will cast the first stone?

another FL sunset

another FL sunset

Sometimes I feel it building up and if I don’t get it out, I will explode or maybe implode.  I don’t know, but I do know it means I have to write.  Today I am frustrated with people who say things flippantly and sometimes ignorantly, seemingly calloused to the impact their words may have on others.

I live in a small town and like many small towns we seem to be facing an increasing drug problem and everyone is on edge about it.  It’s everywhere, but you feel it most where you live.

Let me say right up front that I hate drugs.  As a matter of fact, I hate alcohol, a drug that has caused me far more pain than anything illegal ever did.  The definition for drug that I found is “a medicine or other substance which has a physiological effect when ingested or otherwise introduced into the body”, so yes; I throw alcohol right in there.  It’s the one that has ruined many of the good “stories” in my life; I’ve watched many loved ones struggle and thankfully, some overcome that battle.  Those on this side of that conflict will tell you that their victory came through Christ.

Now, with that said, does it do any good for me to belittle people who are fighting what very well could be the biggest battle of their life; the battle of addiction?  Does that help them in any way?  Do they not already have a clue that they are in serious trouble?  Does my loving them in spite of it mean I condone the action or behavior?  Not hardly.

Here is what bothers me the most, especially now that we have so much airing of dirty laundry (usually not our own, just everyone else’s) on social media.  When we report things in an insensitive manner, using names and harsh words and innuendo, there might be a child out there who loves that parent who is getting blasted; a child who has been through things that some of us have never had to go through, nor do we understand.  A child who doesn’t need to see and hear over and over again how worthless their parent is; a child who would benefit much more from our prayers, as would their parent.

There is a mama or a daddy or a grandparent, who is walking a road they never wanted to walk; who did all the right things, who prayed all the right prayers, who did the best job they could and for some reason, their child or grandchild fell right into the trap anyway.  A loved one who hurts and cries themselves to sleep and tries to do the best they can; a loved one who doesn’t need to be reminded that their very flesh is making all the wrong choices, by people who have made plenty of bad choices themselves.

I love the scripture that says “let those of you without sin cast the first stone”.  You notice how they all scattered when Jesus said that?

I believe we should follow the law, unless it would cause us to sin.  I believe people who do illegal things should have consequences.  I believe people should rise up in unity and fight the drug battles in their communities by letting dealers and users know we see, we know and we want it to stop and we will do whatever we can to that end.  We don’t want it around our children.  We don’t want needles in our park and we don’t want people who are too messed up to walk, speeding around in automobiles. Dealers should be run out of town if they aren’t going to change their ways.  I agree with all of that and I’m willing to jump on that bandwagon.

However, I also believe in love, mercy and compassion.  I also know that the minute you say, “my child would never do that”, you need to be prepared to eat your words.  I have learned this from experience.  Many people have not learned this yet.  Some think they know everything already and they aren’t open to learn; they have an unteachable spirit.  It’s easier to observe and judge and form opinions based on what they know “up until now”.  Until you have been through something, you have no idea; you really don’t.  None of the people suffering this fate woke up one morning and said, “I think I’ll become a drug addict today”.

The sad thing is that some people seem to take some kind of sick pleasure when neighbors or their family members fail.  This is the saddest thing of all to me.    My hope for all of the people struggling is that they would be WHOLE and FREE and live the life God created them to live.  So the question I ask myself is, “how do I play a part in that happening”?  Quite frankly, my role most of the time is to keep my mouth shut and pray.  I asked a very wise young man who suffered from addiction for many years how to pray for people who are suffering the same fate and he said, “Pray for them to receive a divine revelation of the love of Christ”.   Thank you, I will do that ❤

Be Blessed!

Lift them up

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In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Cringe-Worthy.”

Do you feel uncomfortable when you see someone else being embarrassed? What’s most likely to make you squirm?

It bothers me to see anyone being embarrassed, but I think the worst I have ever been confronted with is when a man or woman belittles their spouse in front of others.  It makes me sick.  Sure, we all tease sometimes, and depending on how close you are with friends or family, there may be times you tease a little more due to histories together.

I was in Walmart the other day and a married (judging from the fact they both had on rings) couple were shopping for cards.  He spoke to her with the most condescending tone and looked at her like she was beneath him.  She was trying to find the perfect card and he was obviously tired of waiting.  It was almost as if he knew I could hear him and was enjoying that fact that he could humiliate her in public.  I was embarrassed for her and hurt for the pain she must be feeling.

When I see this situation, I can’t help but wonder what makes someone so bitter and miserable that they treat people the way they do.  I realize that my glimpse into their lives was just that; a mere glimpse.  To give him the benefit of the doubt, perhaps he was having a bad day, or had a medical condition or there was some logical excuse for treating her so poorly.

For the others, the ones who make it a habit and lifestyle of it, I pray that they would realize that others are not impressed, and that their behavior is not even remotely acceptable.  Often, people do this because they are so insecure themselves and they are trying to prove they are in control.

I am thankful for a husband who shows love and affection and appreciation for me and never tries to humiliate me.  We are here to lift each other up and support one another.  And in keeping with my mother’s day theme this year, I will again express thanks to my mother who taught me better than this.  She always taught me that you never disrespect someone you love, especially not in public.  If you have something to discuss that could escalate, save it for later.  Don’t put someone you love down, life them up.

Be All There

Me, Ash and Ayda

This morning, daylight found me missing my girls and my granddaughter.  I was looking forward to the valentine card my granddaughter had put in the mail, which should reach me today and wishing I could hug her and shower her with kisses.

One thought led to another and I began to remember when mine were younger and how many times I was so busy with some pathetic task that was actually meaningless in the big scheme of things.  They would scoot up next to me, needing some love and affection and too often, I didn’t take full advantage of the opportunity.  I never ignored them, but I let a pat on the head with a promise for more attention later suffice when I should have stopped what I was doing and relished the moment.

The more I thought about it, the tears began to roll and I let them.  My husband came to find me and kiss me goodbye and noticed the tears.  I told him I missed the girls and that I was lamenting the hugs and kisses and undivided attention I didn’t always give.  He understood perfectly, and gave me a big hug.

It’s not that I didn’t love my children deeply; I just didn’t know then what I know now.  I was always busy cooking and cleaning and multi-tasking to make sure the household ran smoothly.  If I could go back and re-do things, they would be quite different.

I would throw that mop down and rush outside to catch butterflies or draw chalk figures on the concrete; the laundry could pile up, while we played dress up and the dinner dishes could sit and crust over while I sat with one in my lap, just because.

I share this because I’m older now and I know that it’s all too easy to rush through a day and neglect the most important things, which are not things at all, but people.

We aren’t promised tomorrow and if you have children, they are growing as you read this.  Before you know it, they will be adults and making their own way in the world.  You will have some type of regret because no parent is perfect, but you don’t have to have this one.   Give them the time and attention they need while they want it.  As they age, it isn’t always as treasured.  I am blessed with two loving daughters who think I’m the greatest (at least that’s what they tell me), but I know there were times I could have been “all there” and I let life get in the way.

Goodnight December

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I’m sitting inside, a couple of hours away from 2015, enjoying my Christmas tree for what will probably be the last time this season.  As much as I look forward to what the new year will hold, it always saddens me to pack away the Christmas decorations. There is just something about Christmas; the spirit of love that is in the air, people are nicer, and family members and friends seem more appreciative of one another.

The hubby and friends are outside playing corn hole, there are fireworks blasting in the distance, and other faint sounds outside of parties and traffic in the neighborhood.  Being the introvert that I am, I would rather spend my time quietly reflecting on the past year and meditating on God and what His will is for me for 2015.

This has been a tough year in many ways for many people.  The news has been overflowing with sad stories and bad news and full of fear inducing possibilities.  I hear it said that we could say that at the end of every year, but I have to disagree.

The thing I know to be true is that when I place my faith in God, all of the worry, fear and hopelessness vanishes.  When everything is falling down around me and I feel the strength of the waves of oppression and the heat of the battle, I have an Advocate.  This coming year, that is what I will hold on to.  No matter what situations may arise, God always has a plan.  It might not fit into my self-established agenda, but if I will follow it, all things will work for my good.

Have a happy and blessed New Year – Find out what God’s plan is for you and adhere to it and experience the joy that will follow.

Love and Blessings,

Lisa

When you give up on the white horse, read this

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When I listen to young women and even read some of their Facebook posts, I realize one way that we have failed them.  It seems their ideas of love and what it is or what it should be originates from fairy tales or the latest box office hit.   They believe there really is someone out there who will give them chills every time they see them forever.  Honey, trust me; if you have chills it usually means you have a fever and I don’t mean some heat induced love coma either.

For those of you desperately waiting for Brad Pitt’s twin to come riding up on a white horse in all his handsomeness and sweep you off your feet and carry you to his castle, well, have you ever heard the term “fantastical wish”?

Yes, when you meet Mr. Right, there are emotions and feelings and I will even go as far as to say butterflies on occasion, but what is love?  Is it just a feeling or is it something much more?

Love isn’t even remotely about the size of the ring, the exorbitance of the wedding, or how many ways he charms you on social media for all your friends to see (and be jealous!).  It’s certainly not about looks or size because all that will change as time marches on.

True love is an enduring promise; it doesn’t come and go with your moods and selfishness.  And as the hot flames die down, they turn into something warm and stable and more comfortable; like glowing embers that can be reignited.

Love is staying when you have every reason to go, its forgiveness whether you think they deserve it or not, it’s being patient when your patience is running out.  Love is what you have, when at the end of a long, horrible day, he can walk in and just know and give you a long, hard hug.  Love is telling you to lie down and rest and let him take a turn with the baby you were up with last.  Love is looking across the room and knowing that person has your back, whatever the situation.  Love goes through deaths, crisis and pain and grows stronger.

Love is making a choice to love on the days you just aren’t feeling it.  Love is caring enough to figure out someone else’s needs before they even ask you to.  Love is a tear in their eye, merely because there is one in yours.  Love realizes another’s dreams and helps them achieve them.

Love is not dragging people through their past and it should never glean satisfaction from an “I told you so”.  Love is not giving 50%, it is giving your all and then some.  Love isn’t easy, it is long-suffering.  Love isn’t for cowards.  Love has respect and would never ask you to do things that make you uncomfortable.

Love is long conversations, marked with smiles and laughter and him grabbing your hand while driving down the road.  Not so anyone can see, but because it’s what he wants.  Love is when he never leaves the house without a hug and kiss and an, “I love you”, because he realizes life is precious and sometimes short.  Love is a text when he knows you are struggling with something that says, “I love you and I’m here if you need me”.

Love can be messy.  It isn’t always dancing through the meadows with a song on your lips and flowers in your hair.  There usually aren’t any castles involved at all unless you go to the beach.  And the closest you might get to a white horse, is his dirty pickup truck.

Do I still get butterflies?  Yes, I do, but more importantly, when they are gone, or fail to appear for a while, I am not discouraged, because I know love is more than that and the longer you fan the flames of love, the stronger and more powerful it gets.

 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy;

love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely,

does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.  

I Corinthians 13:4-7

A Worthy Celebration

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Today I attended a beautiful “Celebration of Life” for a sweet lady who now resides in God’s presence.

The carefully chosen songs and words spoken were filled with love and emotion.  More than once I heard phrases like, “never an unkind word” and “found the good in all”.  It occurred to me that it wasn’t hard to understand why she was loved by many.  She obviously made many feel loved.

After the service, her family and friends reminisced over plates laden with fish and all the expected sides.  There were words of comfort spoken, tear stained cheeks, and hugs.  There was laughter as funny memories were shared and there was a feeling of family and familiarity that permeated the gathering.

Looking around, I saw faces of people who have known each other since birth or at the very least shared memories for decades.  As we shared stories and laughter, I was reminded once again that I am thankful for our small town.  Most of the people who were conversing share memories that span at least two generations.  We are like a large family, replete with the fussing and fighting and making up.  We know more about each other’s business than is convenient.  We know family histories, be they good or bad and some recollections are pristine while others are exaggerated.

One thing I have noticed though; when heartache is felt by one here, for the most part, it is felt by all.  When my family has been hit the hardest, I have found sincere words of concern, loving arms to hug and hold, warm dishes delivered to comfort and we have felt the ardent prayers for our peace.

When I was younger, I always flippantly voiced my burning desire to leave this boring, gossiping town and never come back.  As a matter of fact, my parents did decide to move, the summer after my 9th grade year.  Ironically, when the time came, I departed kicking and screaming and vowing that I would never, ever appreciate our new abode.  I spent the entire summer making sure my parents knew they had ruined my life.

As life would have it, a few years and many addresses later, I made my way back.  I understand why people say they hate it and how they get weary of the drama and gossip.  I have been there and I would encourage young ones to spread their wings and fly after their dreams.  However, if you find yourself lonely and broken, you might make your way back home again.  Yes, everyone will know your story (and might even embellish it), but many will be there to embrace and comfort you.

Today, I was inspired by the words that were spoken. We can be a kinder, gentler community that looks for the good in all.  We should never delight in another’s troubles, but in all things show love and mercy.  I’m thankful for the sense of community and am reminded that to be a part of a community you must interact.   We often find ourselves too busy to care for the wounded and the broken, or even to show up to acknowledge an accomplishment.

This dear, sweet lady may be gone, but today’s look back at her actions and interactions in the memorable life she lived have compelled me once again to re-evaluate my priorities and make sure they line up with my Father’s will.  For that, I am truly grateful.

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