love – Long walks and dark chocolate

Leave your mark

March 5, 2014 2 Comments

As I turned to walk toward home, I saw the long white mark in the sky. The beautiful blue background made it very noticeable. A jet had made it’s mark against the backdrop of today’s seemingly endless blue skies. As I gazed upward, the stripe began to grow a little hazy, it’s lines less defined. It became lighter and within a few moments, it was gone. I recalled watching these streaks in the sky until they disappeared when I was a child and wondered why I was so attracted to this fading puff in the sky. After all, it doesn’t really leave much of a mark, just a temporary trail; they are actually sometimes called “vapor trails”. It’s presence is fleeting. It is big, bold and powerful, for a moment…..but quickly gone and forgotten.

“Leaving a mark” stuck in my mind and the wheels began to turn. What is my mark, I pondered? I would hope that it would be colorful, not plain old white, which my 4 year old granddaughter would quickly tell you, is the absence of color. She has smart parents, but I digress.

I want my mark to be big and bold, but more importantly, lasting and worthy of repeating. I don’t want it to be meager and shallow, but significant and deep.

Every single one of us is leaving one. Aren’t you glad to know that if you started out faint and superficial, you have time to broaden your stroke? If you have left black, ugly marks, there is still time for healing. If you feel you haven’t left much of an impression at all, you can begin to color and embellish. Additionally, we can also choose to overlook the marks left by others and encourage them to paint over and start fresh.

Let’s leave marks of kindness, faithfulness, generosity, compassion, integrity, patience and above all love.

Filed Under: Inspirational, Photography Tagged With: blue, kindness, leave your mark, love, mark, peace, sky

Someone needs a Valentine

February 13, 2014 1 Comment

I love Valentine’s Day and I’m not the least bit ashamed to admit it. I have always been a sucker for anything heart shaped, although I’ve always wondered where the shape originated from, because it certainly isn’t the human heart. Add to that my adoration for chocolate and cards with loving sentiments, and I’m a goner.

Today I have perused a plethora of posts and blogs about the hatred of hearts and cupid and even love. That’s fine, I hate Halloween. I always thought it odd that parents would dress up their children in costumes and masks where they can’t maneuver around or see very well, and send them out in the dark to beg for free candy from strangers (yes I gave in too), but I digress.

Most of the Valentine’s Day haters have one thing in common; they are single. But, who says Valentine’s Day always has to be associated with “lovers”. Okay, I admit, it is a holiday about love and cupid and his arrows. For me personally, still in love with the man I married almost 21 years ago, it is a “lovers holiday”.

However, I also think it’s a great time to acknowledge other Valentines in your life. We always say, “don’t forget to hug your loved ones”, and “if you love someone, let them know”. Well, what an opportunity and the retail world is more than ready to help you find the right sentiment.

If you are feeling negative or cynical about hugs and kisses and all things smoochie, opt for celebrating with a friend, or a relative, or your kids! I have been told that I often look at the bright side of things, and I take it as a compliment, although sometimes I’m not sure it’s meant that way. In the spirit of looking at things from a “glass half full” perspective, I encourage you to try something new this year.

I assure you that if you choose Valentine’s Day to share a little love, whether it’s a box of chocolates, some flowers or even some of your precious time with someone you love, you will not regret it. It may even melt away some of your Valentine’s Day angst. I dare you ❤

“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.”

C.S. Lewis

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: chocolate, cupid, Halloween, haters, hearts, love, Valentine's Day

Weekly Writing Challenge: Leave Your Shoes at the Door

February 2, 2014 4 Comments

The writing prompt at The Daily Post, said, “This week, we’re asking you to consider things from a different point of view — to walk a mile in someone’s shoes.” If I understood correctly, we are to write from the perspective of someone else. Here’s my attempt:

“Honk, honk, honnnnnnnkkkk”. The young man slowed as he came alongside and looked at me angrily and mouthed what appeared to be obscenities. He continued pressing his horn as he sped by me, my hands gripping the steering wheel securely at the 10 and 2, just like my dad taught me. Maybe I was going too slow, but better safe than sorry. The honking incident hadn’t done much in settling my nerves today.

Moments later, my blinker flashing, I carefully turned into the grocery store and found a spot up close. That walk isn’t as easy as it used to be and although I’m not ready for a handicapped space yet, the closer the better. Before I opened the door, I plundered in my pocketbook for an elusive tube of lipstick. I feel like I need some color, but I’m careful in my application. I don’t want to look like those old women who miss their lips and color outside of them.

Getting out of the car, I glance down at my Dr. Scholl’s walking shoes and have to remember to be thankful I can still walk instead of wishing I could still sport high heels without pain or injury.

Entering the store, I walk toward the long line of carts and immediately sense the impatience of the sharply dressed young lady behind me. She is obviously in a huge rush, so I hurry to get out of the way and feel grateful when the cart comes apart from the others easily and all the wheels work.

As others pile into the store, I again feel the pressure to move out of the way, to get through the front door and move to the side. Tears well up, as I realize I’m considered an obstacle or a bother once again. I long for my love, my soul mate to be here with me, by my side. His hand would always guide me and his presence gave me comfort.

In the aisle for baking goods, as I struggled to read the ingredients on a jar, another woman, this one large and more interested in talking on her cell phone, than paying attention, almost knocks me over. I overhear something about “the old fool” to her friend on the phone. I am older now, but I still have feelings and ears. What happened to respecting the elderly?

I look at the cases of water, and would love to get some, but I’m not sure I can grip and lift, and then I would have to also get it into the car, and then into the house. The cart is heavy even without the water, but I manage to get the few items I came for and make it to the check out.

The young man operating the register asks, “paper or plastic?” in a frustrated tone, like perhaps he’d already asked me before, so I answer him and begin to arrange my items on the belt.

Behind me, I notice a beautiful young woman, maybe barely in her twenties, wearing a big smile. She says, “Ma’m, could you use some help?” I looked at her with damp eyes, her kindness griping my heart. Before I could answer, she was at my side, unloading my groceries.

Her only purchase was a gallon of milk, so she quickly caught up with me before I made it to my car. She insisted on helping me put the groceries in my car, told me to have a nice day and carefully closed my door, when I got in. With that big smile and a little wave, she was gone.

This young lady had no way of knowing it, but this was my first shopping trip ever without my husband by my side. He passed away just last month and after all the affairs were settled and the family all back to their homes, I found myself alone, with empty cupboards.

My emotional state was fragile and this girl showed me attention, respect and kindness, asking for nothing in return. I felt the corners of my mouth turn up and into a genuine smile for the first time in a long time.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational Tagged With: aging gracefully, dpchallenge, getting older, Grief Loss and Bereavement, kindess, loss of spouse, love, love for people, respect

Daily Prompt: Sweet sixteen

January 21, 2014 1 Comment

Me and my Celica

Remember the year I turned sixteen? Must I? What a tumultuous year, a year filled with ups and downs, highs and lows, a veritable roller coaster.

Looking back, meandering down that passionate, tormenting, and at times exciting path makes me smile now. That is, after I reassure my racing heart that those days are over and we have lived and learned plenty since then.

To highlight the good first, I got a brand new car; a Toyota Celica with a moon roof. My dad put money down and I made the payments working at my part time bank job.

Dancing was one of my favorite past times and that year and much of my solace came from lessons at Miss Debbie’s School of Dance. I could work out the frustrations and stress of being a teenage girl through jazz, tap and ballet. My introversion which I mistook for shyness back then disappeared when performing in a recital.

I suffered what I thought was my biggest heartbreak ever that year and went on to begin a new relationship which would deliver an even bigger one.

Seriously, I must add that this year was a defining one for me and not in a good way. I lost myself in a young man and gave up on my hopes and dreams and settled for what I had somehow began to believe was all I deserved, much to my wonderful mother’s chagrin. I won’t elaborate on all the whys and what could have beens, because I believe in the end, I learned a lot and some of that made me who I am today.

There is no reasonable explanation for why I made some of the choices that I made, but thankfully, God is merciful. Although, I suffered plenty at the hands of love, I made it through that fire intact, albeit singed and in need of tender loving care.

I think sweet sixteen is an oxymoron, and I know many who would readily agree with my assessment. As for me, I’m much happier now as a forty-something, confident, life loving, secure, blessed and highly favored, woman of God.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Daily Prompt, heartbreak, love, postaday, sixteen, teenage girls, zerotohero

Just pick one

January 11, 2014 2 Comments

I just walked in the door from a nice long, gorgeous walk.

This morning, I found myself mulling over one thing after the other that I wanted to get accomplished today. Knowing that my almost daily walks help me to clear my head and listen for God’s will in the foggy areas, I decided it was time to change clothes, lace up and get out.

If you read my post from a couple of days ago, The Everyday Things, you will know that earlier in the week I received a poignant reminder to slow down. That continues to resonate in my soul.

It is easy to imagine that the faster we go, the more things we check off that list (you know, the one that never has an ending and is never going to?), the better our lives will be. So, the outcome from that type of thinking is we hurry to do more. Wouldn’t you agree? However, do we do it as well? Do we focus all of our energy and attention in to one thing and give it our best?

Let me illustrate. Say, for example, that I feel led to go and visit some of the elderly folks in my community, just to check in and let them know they are loved and appreciated. If I do something akin to a drive-by, pop in, hello, pop out, goodbye, it’s better than not having done anything. But, what if I really focus on that person for say, an hour? What if I look into their eyes, sincerely desirous to see and know their heartfelt needs? I’m taking the time to discover how I might be of the most help to them, and at the same time, letting them know I really do care about them.

We don’t want to do things just so we can say “I did something”, or feel like I we checked an item off the list, or just “did my good deed for the day”. The second example involves more sacrifice; it’s more of a heart thing.

Today, as I put one of my new Christmas sneakers in front of the other, I contemplated on this and I knew that I needed to “pick one”. Pick one thing today, pour myself out and into it. If there is time left, move on to another, but not at the expense of the first. This is difficult, especially for women who are so adept at multi-tasking. That’s a great talent to have in many areas of our lives, but not when it comes to relationships with other human beings. I continue to pray that I will learn this, let it sink in and make it a habit of my own.

May we all continue to slow down, really listen and love deeply.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational Tagged With: advice, compassionate, hurry, kindness, long walks, love, rushing, slow-down

The Everyday Things

January 9, 2014 5 Comments

This morning the routine I followed was the normal one. I was logged into my computer and plugging away by 6:00am. Knowing that I am the most productive in the morning, I try to make the most of my “prime” hours. Phones, emails and IMs are usually pretty quiet until around 7:00am so I was surprised when at 6:26, I saw an IM blinking at the bottom of my screen.

Quickly, I opened it to scan the contents and smiled to see it was a nice guy from up north and the question he posed was relatively easy, so it shouldn’t take much time. I hurriedly typed out my response, scanned for typos and hit “send”. I was done and could now move on to another task.

He thanked me, and then he said something that would change my morning. He said, “by the way, Lisa, how are you? Sometimes I ask a lot of questions and forget to ask the really important one, of how one is doing.”

Suddenly it occurred to me that I’ve known this man for many years and had no idea how he was doing either. As usual, I hadn’t taken the time to stop and ask. Why are we often too busy to be polite?

This man had (probably unknowingly) just preached an entire message that went straight to my heart and exposed, once again, the selfishness and “much too busy” attitudes lodged there.

So, I replied, “I understand what you are saying; we all get too busy to slow down and really care, don’t we? How have YOU been?

He began to tell me that 2013 had been a tough year for him and he was glad to see it go. He had lost his mother in law to cancer, and while he and his wife were cleaning up her estate, his wife of 37 years fell ill and was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer. He lost her in August.

Wow! I hadn’t known and my heart ached for the grief and pain that must still resonate within him. With the tears that now filled my eyes making the screen almost too blurry to see, I did my best to convey my heartfelt sympathy and congratulated him on such a long-lasting marriage. He advised me to cherish every moment of mine and I told him I would heed his advice and take it to heart and we said our goodbyes.

Only a few moments had passed, but I looked at the day ahead with a fresh perspective. I wonder if he even had a clue how his words affected me today or how grateful to him I am.

Everyone is going through things and I want to know, I want to care and I want to bring comfort when I can.

Look someone in the eyes and ask them how they are today or tomorrow, and then give them time to respond. If and when someone asks you the same, give them the benefit of an honest answer. You might give them the opportunity to comfort you. We all are blessed when we give or receive.

And, always look for the lesson or the reminder in the everyday things.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational Tagged With: death, helping hand, kindness, love, loved ones, sympathy, tenderness, too busy

The lost laces

December 18, 2013 7 Comments

Shoe lace on a sneaker (Photo credit: MoHotta18)

I began writing this on November 27, 2013 and about two paragraphs in, I got a phone call that my beloved Granny starring in this little story had gone home to heaven. If you are a follower, you will know I have many posts starring the precious, Granny. I hope you enjoy this one!

Granny lived in the yellow house across from the K-12 school I attended during my elementary years. Words would not begin to express the comfort that was derived from knowing she was so close, knowing that while I studied, she was in her rocking chair with the bible open on her lap, or visiting with one of her many friends, or maybe even baking my favorite chocolate pie.

One day in particular brings back another memory of a day Granny single-handedly turned my grey skies to blue. It was a school day and on that day, I had P.E. as we called it back then, for physical education. This meant I had to bring and wear the required hideous uniform which consisted of blue loose legged shorts which made my bony legs even more apparent, a white t-shirt, tennis shoes and white socks. P.E. went well as far as I recall, except for Tommy calling me chicken legs, which always got him into trouble and upset me far more than I let on.

Afterwards, for some reason that eludes me, several of us had not only removed our shoes, but our laces as well. When it was time to change and go back to class, I discovered that my laces were nowhere to be found. This distressed me greatly and in retrospect, I have no idea why, but it provoked me to tears. Granted, I was well known for losing or misplacing things and I was horrified at the idea of admitting that I had done it again. This was also during a time in our lives when money was tight and I didn’t want to be the reason for another expense, albeit a small one, so perhaps this contributed to my extreme dismay.

I vaguely remember making my way to the office, with one thing on my mind and that was to call my granny. I dialed her number on the rotary phone and when that beloved voice answered, I whispered my dilemma to her looking away from the eyes peering at me from across the counter. Granny told me to come right over after school and not to worry about a thing.

So, when school was out, instead of boarding the hot, smelly school bus, I ran across the street to granny’s house.

After making sure I was well fed and hydrated, Granny and I left for the local hardware store. We lived in such a small town, I remember doubting we would be successful in our quest. Granny swung open the door and I followed as it chimed a greeting to us and announced to the proprietor there were customers. She marched straight up to the counter and asked for white shoe laces, without even mentioning my name, bless her heart. And lo and behold, they had some.

Granny paid and we waited for the little brown paper bag holding the laces to be passed across the counter. I gushed with relief and thankfulness and Granny just smiled and hugged me tightly to her.

Now, I don’t know all of the details and never did ask, but my mother showed up later that afternoon to pick me up and not a word was uttered about missed school buses or missing laces.

My heart still swells with love and gratitude when I remember how granny always made me feel like I was the most important person in the entire world. It’s funny because if you ask my siblings or my cousins they would tell you the same thing. She loved us all and made each of us feel like number one without slighting anyone. Tonight I’m feeling very blessed and thankful for her highly valued presence in my life once again.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: elementary age, Family, grandparent, Granny, Home, love, Shoelaces, siblings

Christmas threads

December 7, 2013 6 Comments

“Ma’am, may I ask you a question?” The persistent young lady clutching a tube of sea salt, something or other, actually matched my steps for a few seconds as I hurried past the mid-mall vendor. After my “no thank you” didn’t faze her tenacity, I tried “No thank, you I’m not interested” in a more serious tone. When that also failed to weaken her resolve, I decided to just pick up my pace and ignore her. She was intent on making a sale but I was determined to escape.

Moments later, I settled into a seat with my lunch to take a break and re-group. I found myself feeling angry. Why should my leisurely trip to the mall be interrupted by an incident that left me feeling like I’d done something wrong? I don’t like to use my firm tone of voice and I certainly don’t like to ignore people. My day begins with a prayer to show love to others, not return rudeness.

Determined not to lose my joy, I let it go, adamant in my desire to shine a little brighter for the remainder of my day.

I begin to recall memories of Christmas shopping in this very mall with my mom, my husband, my mother in law, my girls and many friends. Some of them are no longer here, but I can meander through the memories and find the moments and share them again.

The heart of Christmas for me lies in my Christian roots; the reality of the gift given to the entire world on that Christmas long ago. When we celebrate Christmas, it’s based on that love and although December can be hurried and harried, that is where the focus must remain.

As I began to look around a few stops later, I noticed the exuberant face of a little boy as he carefully selected ornaments with his mother. She spoke softly to him, love and tenderness in her voice. They were both young and creating “moments” together to be cherished for years to come.

I rounded the aisle and saw what appeared to be a family, according to their similarities in look. There was an elderly woman in a wheelchair, being pushed by a younger woman, who could have been her daughter. I paused to let them pass and they smiled in thanks. Directly in pursuit of them was a younger woman, who was very noticeably pregnant. I wondered if I was perhaps looking at four generations (one still in the oven). They made me smile as they laughed and joked about who was “bringing up the rear”, obviously enjoying each other immensely.

We have to remember during all the hustle and bustle of the season to cherish one another and to savor moments and make memories. Every moment, every event, be it large or small is like a thread, which when woven together with love, create a beautiful garment of memories, that can be thrown around our shoulders to embrace and comfort us time and time again.

And that reminds me of the comforting love of the Father – Have a blessed day and cherish those moments!

Christmas IS in the Air (silviayg.wordpress.com)
Fa-la-la-la-lineman’s first family Christmas… (thelovelylittlelinewife.com)
The Weekend Dish-Christmas Quiz (backyardsisters.com)

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational Tagged With: Christian, Christmas, Christmas tree, Decorations, Family, Holidays, love, memories, moments, Opinions, Shopping

Thinking and thanking

October 21, 2013 Leave a Comment

spaghetti-squash-with-parmesan-cheese (Photo credit: famfriendsfood)

The smell of bacon permeates my kitchen as it pops and splatters noisily in the pan. Tonight is one of those “force yourself to put one foot in front of the other; just hurry up and get it all done so you can relax” kind of nights Tonight I find myself lamenting the fact that I pulled out new recipes to try, but stubborn enough to try them anyway. My back is achy because my job in front of a computer all day was a tense one and I can’t wait to hop in a warm shower. At least there is an extra piece of bacon I can munch on as I continue cooking.

Today has been the kind of day where I had to choose to make a conscious effort to see the positive, to choose happy. Throughout the day I reminded myself, “this too shall pass” and “you are blessed to have a job”. As time rolled around for dinner preparation, “I am thankful I have food to cook”.

By the time I pulled the spaghetti squash out of the oven and started removing the tender threads, my mood was already elevating. I don’t know what it was; the smell of the yummy food, the call from my husband (because once again our wedding song is playing on the radio and he likes to play it for me), the message from a friend, or a combination of it all. I just know I stopped and remembered to be grateful. Sometimes you just have to turn off the distractions and take a few moments to realize what you already know.

The truth washes over me afresh, that there are so many people out there who would see one of my “bad days” as one of their “very good” days. The truth stings as I begin to think about those people and some of their situations.

Something to think about as you reflect on your Monday.

Spaghetti Carbonara (splendidrecipes.wordpress.com)

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Cook, Cooking, Family, food, happiness, Home, love, mood, think positive

Empty nest but a full heart

October 10, 2013 6 Comments

As the curtains gently sway with the beautiful fall breeze on this quiet Thursday morning, I sit in the midst of the leftovers from the wedding; the items that they couldn’t quite squeeze into the very packed black Jetta now bound for Texas; the one with “just married” fading on the back window.

As I take a few moments to reflect on the past several days, I smile broadly and my heart warms. She said, “The wedding ceremony and the reception were everything I wanted them to be”. (and wasn’t that the goal?)

We were blessed before, during and after the wedding with friends and family who smoothed out the potential wrinkles prior to their occurring with their support, love and encouragement. During the wedding ceremony, love permeated the crowd; the love between the bride and groom and also the love felt for both of them by so many family members and friends who came to share in the joy of their nuptials.

This now official “empty nester” knows that days will come when the sense of loss brushes across her heart in large, sweeping strokes. But, at this moment I feel nothing but excitement and thankfulness; excitement about all that God has in store for them and thankfulness that another daughter has found love and happiness with her soul mate.

Yes, mom and dad may be all alone now but as the youngest takes that final leap and clears the nest; we will look on and smile knowing she has been equipped to soar.