Weekly Photo Challenge: Family

Weekly Photo Challenge:  Family

At first I thought this challenge was going to be difficult as I love all of my family so much and there are hundreds of photos to choose from to depict “family”. Then, I saw this one. It perfectly illustrates the fun that my brother and sister and I have when we are together.  It’s not the greatest picture ever and they weren’t even standing perfectly to get the full effect, but it still works for me, because of the memories associated with it.

On this particular day, we were hanging out at a state park in North Carolina, enjoying the view, the weather and each others company. My sister had the idea for this picture, which was no surprise.  If there is a crazy idea amongst us, I can guarantee she will be the one who came up with it.

We’ve always enjoyed each other, but as life continues, with all of it’s joy and challenges, you realize more than ever how important family is.

By the time you’ve reached my age, you’ve likely lost someone dear to you, which further reinforces the brevity of life and a greater appreciation for it.  You realize tomorrow isn’t promised and the future is unpredictable.  People and the time you spend with them becomes a priority because you no longer take them or that time with them for granted.

May we be reminded today that “life is but a vapor” and make our choices accordingly.

 

Flashbacks of watermelon and nausea

REBLOGGED from last year

My brother, Ronnie and I in 79' at picnic area in Iowa.

My brother, Ronnie and I in 79′ at picnic area in Iowa.

It was the summer of 1979 at a roadside stop in Iowa.  The day my hatred for all things watermelon began.  I ate WAY too much of it; haven’t been able to stand it since.  Something about the gluttony and the heat mixed together and let’s just say I had to empty my stomach of all of it before we could resume our trip.

The rest of that trip was a good one though; it was my mom, dad, brother, sister and I.  I don’t remember what our vehicle was at the time, but I’m sure the three of us kids were sliding around in the back seat without the restraint of seat belts.  One of us would make a loud slap noise on our own leg and then yell, “Mom, so and so hit me!”.  “So and so” was whoever we felt like getting into trouble.

I remember that quite often I got to ride in the front because I got carsick.  This wasn’t one of my sneaky little games either although my brother and sister always thought it was.  Mom and Dad would usually attempt to make me sit in the backseat, but after enough pleas to, “pull over, I think I’m going to puke!” I would soon find myself comfortably lodged right between them up front nearer the air conditioner.  Okay, I admit, I wasn’t always really sick, but most of the time I was.

This was especially necessary in the summer when it was hot or if we traveled mountainous or curvy terrain.  I went on a trip once with my grandparents and aunt and uncle and threw up in the Catskills.  I told people about that for months.  To this day, when someone mentions the Catskill Mountains, it’s always the first thing I think of.

After my move to the front seat, Dad would cajole me into singing along with whatever country song was on the radio or 8 track tape.  One of his favorites for me to sing was Jessie Colter’s, “I’m not Lisa”, or Crystal Gayle’s “Don’t it make my brown eyes blue”.  With my eyes being brown and my name being Lisa, this was always funny to me.

I loved traveling as a child and I still do.  Some things about it haven’t changed at all.  There is something about heading out in the morning with coffee in hand, watching the sunrise as you countdown the miles to your destination.  Then there is the quality family time spent in the car together, arguing over the radio and temperature.  What about trying to get dad/hubby to stop for potty breaks and having to wait so long and pass so many possibilities that finally the only choice you have left is a nasty truck stop with no toilet paper or the other even less favorite option, the side of the road.

All in all, traveling with my family throughout the years holds more pleasant memories than bad ones.  Besides, looking back now, even the bad ones don’t seem so bad anymore.  After all, we were together.

Just pick one

Life

I just walked in the door from a nice long, gorgeous walk.

This morning, I found myself mulling over one thing after the other that I wanted to get accomplished today.  Knowing that my almost daily walks help me to clear my head and listen for God’s will in the foggy areas, I decided it was time to change clothes, lace up and get out.

If you read my post from a couple of days ago, The Everyday Things, you will know that earlier in the week I received a poignant reminder to slow down.  That continues to resonate in my soul.

It is easy to imagine that the faster we go, the more things we check off that list (you know, the one that never has an ending and is never going to?), the better our lives will be.  So, the outcome from that type of thinking is we hurry to do more.  Wouldn’t you agree?  However, do we do it as well?  Do we focus all of our energy and attention in to one thing and give it our best?

Let me illustrate.  Say, for example, that I feel led to go and visit some of the elderly folks in my community, just to check in and let them know they are loved and appreciated.  If I do something akin to a drive-by, pop in, hello, pop out, goodbye, it’s better than not having done anything.  But, what if I really focus on that person for say, an hour?  What if I look into their eyes, sincerely desirous to see and know their heartfelt needs?  I’m taking the time to discover how I might be of the most help to them, and at the same time, letting them know I really do care about them.

We don’t want to do things just so we can say “I did something”, or feel like I we checked an item off the list, or just “did my good deed for the day”.  The second example involves more sacrifice; it’s more of a heart thing.

Today, as I put one of my new Christmas sneakers in front of the other, I contemplated on this and I knew that I needed to “pick one”.  Pick one thing today, pour myself out and into it.  If there is time left, move on to another, but not at the expense of the first.  This is difficult, especially for women who are so adept at multi-tasking.  That’s a great talent to have in many areas of our lives, but not when it comes to relationships with other human beings.  I continue to pray that I will learn this, let it sink in and make it a habit of my own.

May we all continue to slow down, really listen and love deeply.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Window

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Outbuilding window at Hofwyl-Broadfield Historic Plantation in Georgia

This past summer, my sister and I took a road trip together to visit my brother in North Carolina.  Our travel days were limited so we knew we didn’t have the luxury of doing the tourist thing.  I get to travel a lot with my job and to visit my out of state daughters, but my sister hasn’t had the pleasure of getting away much in recent years.  When I saw the sign for Hofwyl-Broadfield Plantation Historic Site, in Georgia, I was determined to stop because I knew my sister would be thrilled.

We were both so glad we took the 2-3 hours to visit.  Hofwyl-Broadfield is the site of a historic rice plantation, with the original house and some of the original furniture and outbuildings.  We walked and took pictures under the big moss and fern covered, live oak trees and enjoyed the stories the guide told about the families that lived there.

My sis and I live in the same small town, but it seems like life and work and family keeps us running in opposite directions.  We both genuinely try to make more time for one another, but it seems we never do it enough.

This trip was therapeutic for each of us; it was a time of long talks sprinkled with tears, about things only your sister would understand .  We also laughed until we cried and prayed together about the things on our hearts.  We then shared a great visit with my brother and more of the talking, laughing and sharing.

Although it was short and sweet, it was refreshing and necessary.  Reminiscing on it tonight reminds me why it will remain high on my list of favorite trips!

The Everyday Things

IMG_3404

This morning the routine I followed was the normal one.  I was logged into my computer and plugging away by 6:00am.  Knowing that I am the most productive in the morning, I try to make the most of my “prime” hours.  Phones, emails and IMs are usually pretty quiet until around 7:00am so I was surprised when at 6:26, I saw an IM blinking at the bottom of my screen.

Quickly, I opened it to scan the contents and smiled to see it was a nice guy from up north and the question he posed was relatively easy, so it shouldn’t take much time.  I hurriedly typed out my response, scanned for typos and hit “send”.  I was done and could now move on to another task.

He thanked me, and then he said something that would change my morning.  He said, “by the way, Lisa, how are you?  Sometimes I ask a lot of questions and forget to ask the really important one, of how one is doing.”

Suddenly it occurred to me that I’ve known this man for many years and had no idea how he was doing either.  As usual, I hadn’t taken the time to stop and ask.  Why are we often too busy to be polite?

This man had (probably unknowingly) just preached an entire message that went straight to my heart and exposed, once again, the selfishness and “much too busy” attitudes lodged there. 

So, I replied, “I understand what you are saying; we all get too busy to slow down and really care, don’t we?  How have YOU been?

He began to tell me that 2013 had been a tough year for him and he was glad to see it go.  He had lost his mother in law to cancer, and while he and his wife were cleaning up her estate, his wife of 37 years fell ill and was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer.   He lost her in August.

Wow!  I hadn’t known and my heart ached for the grief and pain that must still resonate within him.  With the tears that now filled my eyes making the screen almost too blurry to see, I did my best to convey my heartfelt sympathy and congratulated him on such a long-lasting marriage.  He advised me to cherish every moment of mine and I told him I would heed his advice and take it to heart and we said our goodbyes.

Only a few moments had passed, but I looked at the day ahead with a fresh perspective.  I wonder if he even had a clue how his words affected me today or how grateful to him I am.

Everyone is going through things and I want to know, I want to care and I want to bring comfort when I can. 

Look someone in the eyes and ask them how they are today or tomorrow, and then give them time to respond.  If and when someone asks you the same, give them the benefit of an honest answer.  You might give them the opportunity to comfort you.  We all are blessed when we give or receive.

And, always look for the lesson or the reminder in the everyday things.

The brightest child ever

Today I am missing my little granddaughter, so I am doing what cold, lonely, forsaken (just kidding except for the cold part) grandmothers do who live 848 miles away when they can’t squeeze their little angels.  I am pining over old photographs and videos.  They aren’t really “old” considering my one and only grandchild isn’t even four yet, but you get the point.

As much as I loathe technology at times (very few times), now isn’t one of them.  For those of us who don’t live close to our kids, aren’t we blessed to have Skype, Facebook and other social media to share the milestones? When my son in law was in Afghanistan, he was able to “watch” Christmas and other events to an extent.  I’m honestly not sure if that made him feel better or worse, but at least he could see his wife and daughter in real time.

Just today I was considering how different things were when mine were small.  Of course, we had telephone and videos if you had a big, clunky video camera and a way to play the tapes (I’m not that ancient), but things weren’t nearly as “instant”.  I remember my aunt and uncle living a few hundred miles away and they would have my young cousin talk or sing into a cassette tape recorder and send to my grandparents.  We would all gather round’ to hear his sweet little voice and then deem him the brightest child ever!

The video I’ve shared above also stars the “brightest child ever”, my darling, my angel, my Ayda.  I hope you enjoy as she tries to figure out if she likes the fur on the stuffed animals.  We laughed over how they made her “shiver”.

This one shows her silly faces as she sings along to the “goodbye song” from Yo Gabba Gabba, which I hope I never have to watch again for as long as I live, but I would for her 🙂

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/zero-to-hero/

Just a Happy New Year

SONY DSC

I am feeling a tad like the New Years Eve grinch tonight.

The fireworks are making all the dogs in my neighborhood bark.  I think they are having a contest to see who can bark the longest and loudest and to see which one can get the last bark in.

As for New Years resolutions, I don’t ever make them.  If I already realize I should change something, why wait until 1/1 ?  I guess some people enjoy having a set day and starting time.  To each their own.

I do think it’s good to reflect on your accomplishments as well as your failures and adjust the sails if need be, but why wait?  We should do that all year long.

Oh, and I’m a morning person, so this staying up to watch a ball drop never interested me.  I’m already getting tired, so hopefully the fireworks are over soon.

In all sincerity though, I do wish you a very Happy New Year!  May all of your goals be accomplished, may you excel in all you do, may you love more, forgive more easily, spend lots of quality time with family and prosper both financially and spiritually.  And, may you remember to write 2014 at least by February 😉

God Bless!

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

I am mom

Dearest Mother BIG tag

Dearest Mother BIG tag (Photo credit: AForestFrolic)

From the time you see that soft, wiggly, bawling baby, you fall in love.  You become a fierce protector.  You are mom.  This tiny gift from heaven rocks your world and melts your heart.

You vow she will always be safe in your arms, sheltered by your love, kept far away from all evil and danger.  She needs you.

She will be given every opportunity, receive plenty of praise and encouragement along with proper discipline and instruction.

As the years go marching by in this journey, you stumble, yes you even fall a time or two, but you do your best.  You learn quickly that this thing called parenting is no easy feat.  Your best isn’t perfect, but you never give up.  You defend, you teach, your love grows deeper.

She drives you crazy sometimes.  She reminds you of when you were that age.  She makes you want to tell your mom you’re sorry again.

She grows up overnight and it seems she doesn’t need you as much anymore.   Thankfully, she still calls and asks your advice.  She doesn’t always take it.  You probably drive her crazy sometimes.  You have dreams and goals and hopes for her.  She has different ones, but you will love her anyway.

Your love grows ever deeper and she returns that love.  She begins to realize that you often make sense and tells you so.  You watch her become more like you in many ways.  You become one of her closest confidantes.

She’s not perfect; she stumbles and yes, even falls sometimes, but she gets right back up. You are her biggest fan and you secretly hope she got that tenacity from you.

Your role as a parent never ends; it merely changes.  You continue to pray that as the years pass and you both continue to grow older, that you are always what she needs you to be.  You are mom.

Cookies, lists and common sense

Chocolate peppermint cookies

Chocolate peppermint cookies

Today has been a beautiful day in Southwest Florida but I have spent almost all of it inside, with the air conditioner cranked up and Christmas carols on.  I spent the day baking and making fudge, then allowed myself to take the time to deliver some to an elderly couple I haven’t seen in a while.  My first thought was, “I’ll quickly drop it off, so I can deliver others and get back home”.  Then, I thought about it some more and said to myself, “No, you will stop and breathe and relax and visit with them because you never take the time to do that anymore”.

I made up my mind that the days preceding Christmas were not going to be stressful this year, and that I would approach it differently .  Instead of having unending lists and must-dos because I have to, I decided to take it one day at a time, to do what I can and if something doesn’t get done, so what? Seriously, what’s going to happen if I don’t have all the shopping done by December 20th or I forget to buy all the ingredients for mom’s red velvet cake?  Nothing, that’s what.

If I forgot to make half of what I’m responsible for, our family would still have enough food left over to feed another family for a week.  And, if lo and behold that one gift I ordered online for my youngest doesn’t come in?  Well, then she will live and have a nice surprise a few days late.

I’ve come to the conclusion that we need to all step back and think about WHY we do some of the things we do.  Sometimes it seems we’re like hamsters stuck on the treadmill, running ourselves ragged, without accomplishing much.  Although I love traditions, if they become rote robotic type activities, they lose their significance and might as well be abolished.  What if you just make up a brand new tradition that fits your family?

Yesterday, I went to town to do some of my shopping and had it on my list to pick up poinsettias because I have an empty vase sitting here.  I also had two more pages of neatly penned items to do.  However, when I noticed my stress level beginning to climb and felt my allergy ridden body begin to tire, I came home.  No poinsettias and the list is missing many check marks.  I don’t care.  No one even knows and wouldn’t know now if I weren’t telling.

That’s my point, I guess.  We put ourselves under so much pressure to achieve self-inflicted goals that serve to prove what?  That we are exhausted and snappy and stressed?

This attitude is quite the departure from the norm for me as I even say sometimes, “I thrive on chaos”, or “I work better under pressure”.  Don’t misunderstand, I believe in responsibility and I take my obligations very seriously.  The problem that I’ve always had to contend with is that I over extend myself and give myself way too many “imagined obligations”.

Thankfully, I’ve finally learned my family wants my love and attention more than anything.  When we grasp that, the things like baking are actually fun and relaxing.  I didn’t set a goal for how many cookies I had to bake and how many people had to receive theirs today…I just baked and danced around my kitchen singing Christmas carols and texted pictures of cookies to family members.  It was fun.  I’m having fun a few days before Christmas!

As I write this, there are presents to be wrapped and a craft project left abandoned.  I will get around to wrapping the presents, but the craft project can wait until next year.  My house is clean, decorated and smells like cookies and peppermint.  I think we will all live if I fail to make one more decoration, especially if that means I have more time to enjoy my family.

Merry Christmas!

“Memories are the treasures that we keep locked deep within the storehouse of our souls, to keep our hearts warm when we are lonely.”  Becky Aligada

Glimmer, don’t Gripe

christmas lights

christmas lights (Photo credit: harold.lloyd)

While we dream of a White Christmas, children in a dusty street dream of shoes to wear

While we stuff the turkey and then our bellies, many are digging through garbage for dinner

While we share enchanted kisses under the mistletoe, someone somewhere is suffering violence at the hands of a loved one

As we carefully wrap gifts in shiny paper a laid off dad unwraps an envelope containing a bill he can’t pay

As we go caroling and attend plays and parties, the old man down the street cries tears of loneliness, feeling abandoned

While we fill our spare bedrooms and pull out couches with family and friends, a single mom and her children sleep in the street

And as we deck the halls and our homes with sparkling lights, many are searching for just a glimmer of hope

I write all this, not to upset anyone, or make anyone feel guilty for enjoying your Christmas and family.  ENJOY your family, really take the time to enjoy each and every one of them!  Look into their eyes when they are speaking, pay attention and show your love abundantly.  If you are among the blessed, be thankful for your blessings and don’t you dare complain!

Be the glimmer of hope for someone, whether you think they deserve your attention or not.  After all, when we think about the true meaning of Christmas, isn’t it about a gift of love we didn’t deserve?  Don’t let anyone on your street be hungry, hopeless or lonely this Christmas season.  If we all do that, think of what we would accomplish!

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