Family and Home – Long walks and dark chocolate

The more candles, the brighter the shine

November 14, 2014 Leave a Comment

My 47th birthday

The Prompt: Do you enjoy growing old or do you fight against it?

Do I enjoy growing old or do I fight against it? I suppose I could quote some old adage, like, “You’re only as old as you feel” or “Old age isn’t so bad when you consider the alternative.” To be perfectly honest though, I would have to say both. I am enjoying myself but I wouldn’t hesitate in some regards to slow it down.

As I approach 50, what Victor Hugo referred to as the “youth of old age”, I think one of the best things about aging is that I am finally comfortable with who I am. I know precisely what I want, and what I will and will not tolerate. There is something liberating in being able to be unapologetically yourself. Gone are the days of trying to impress and worrying so much about what others think.

There are silly inconsequential things that give me great pleasure, like having finally discovered exactly how I like certain things, like my tea or toast and not settling for anything else. I have embraced the fact that I am a home body and that I relish times of solitude. No longer do I strive to change things about myself that are an inherent part of my makeup.

For me, growing older is a time of much greater faith, considerable confidence and thankfully more wisdom. I say thankfully, because I have noticed that age does not always guarantee wisdom. You have to have been willing to learn and grow from life’s experiences, you must implement change and hearken to the voice of reason.

As much as I am comfortable in my own skin, (except for the occasional hot flash) I would be lying if I said I didn’t have some degree of vanity over preserving it, for as long as possible. I probably spend too much on moisturizers and my trip to the salon to cover the grey isn’t something I plan on giving up anytime soon. I try to exercise daily, which has been impeded as of late due to a heel spur, which is causing knee pain as I favor the foot. I could elaborate on recent ailments that I am assured are a part of life now and to be expected. I will war against them with tenacity.

I suppose we could conclude that I love the inner workings of getting older but I am battling the outward manifestations.

I want to receive growing older as a gift, not a burden or something to be feared. I plan to make the approach to 50 gracefully; eyes wide open in wonder as I head over that hill.

Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day. 2 Corinthians 4:16

Adventures with Ayda

November 13, 2014 10 Comments

I needed desperately to squeeze those chunky legs, to hear that melodic laugh and to hold that tiny hand in mine. It was time. Nana had to see Ayda. I made the arrangements with my eldest and drove through rain most of the day to arrive at the pre-determined meeting place.

After a late lunch, we transferred her belongings to my car and headed north. She is only four so I was a tiny bit nervous that she would get upset when we pulled out of the parking lot, but she just said, “I’ll miss mommy and daddy” and that was that. We chatted about pre-school and recent birthday parties and Christmas. “Ayda, do you see the leaves? Do you know about the fall season?” I asked. She answered in what I thought was somewhat condescending tone and said, “Nana, are you talking about autumn, when the leaves turn beautiful colors like yellow and orange and brown and fall from the trees?” Yes, my dear. Yes, I was.

In a couple of hours, we were pulling into a hotel driveway, ready to stop for the night as our destination was Pigeon Forge, TN. We were going to visit relatives and she was excited to get to spend time with some of her younger cousins. She wasn’t sure about this whole idea of staying in a “cabin” though. For some reason she thought all cabins were inferior dwellings. As we passed barns and falling down sheds, she would ask, “Nana, is it a cabin like that?” I assured her that it certainly was not and that she would be pleasantly surprised.

Nana forgot how time consuming it was to unfasten a car set, put shoes back on and wait for little slowpoke to crawl out of the back of my Mustang. After we checked in, I realized that with my bag, her bag, her toy bag, her snack bag, her electronic game and dinner we had picked up, I was going to need a cart. I grabbed one, loaded it and sat her on top of my bag before realizing I had to do something with my car. After arranging the cart inside and loading her back into the car seat, I found a parking place and we were ready to go upstairs.

Pushing the cart was akin to maneuvering a side-ways driving Walmart shopping cart filled with groceries. I finally managed to get it to the elevator without taking some drywall with me. Ayda spotted the “fire sign” and wanted me to tell her what it said. I read, “In case of fire do not use the elevator”. Way to go, Nana. Little did I know that every time we used an elevator for the rest of our journey she would ask quite anxiously if I was sure there wasn’t a fire and explain that maybe we shouldn’t ride the elevator. Thankfully, a nice young man helped me get the cart onto the elevator and even got off at our floor and pulled it out for us. I think he discerned that Nana was exhausted and I was sincerely grateful for his kindness.

Finally, it was bedtime and Ayda and I lay in the darkness, the only light emanating from her Nabi which is NOT a computer, Nana. It’s an electronic game that also has episodes of some of her favorite shows. I wasn’t going to argue with her about watching one on our first night together, far from home. We talked about our plans and said prayers and she was out like a light.

I decided the next morning to let her sleep in; partly because she needed it and partly because I love to watch her sleep, with her little brown tendrils floating across the pillow. Before long her eyes opened wide and the first words out of her mouth were, “Why is that light on?” You waked me in the dark and you are supposed to wake me in the light?” I quickly rose from the chair I was perched on and opened the light blocking curtains. She grinned when she saw that it really was daytime and then she snuggled in my lap while her little body finished waking up.

I dressed her and brushed her long curls carefully and reacquainted myself with pig tails and bows. We went down to the continental breakfast in the hotel lobby where Ayda picked a muffin. I looked up to see her with a horrible expression, somewhere between tears and disgust and discovered that said muffin had hidden berries. I assured her she could spit them out and I got up to make a waffle for her instead. The waffle was acceptable and I sat there and enjoyed my coffee, the grinning recipient of the “She is so precious” and like compliments, like grandma’s do.

We arrived at the cabin later in the day and she was thoroughly impressed, as was I. There were stuffed bears and toys and snacks and a bunk-bed and the promise of soon-to-arrive children. We enjoyed the time with family and I enjoyed time with her out and about in Pigeon Forge and through the Great Smokey Mountains. She loved being with family and was not happy on Saturday, when it was time to go.

We travelled home towards South FL, because Papa had been unable to join us due to work and he was dying to see her, as were others in the family. We took a little longer route to go through the Smokies and stopped several times to pick up leaves and get pictures. We stopped for ice cream in Cherokee and picked up taffy, pecan logs and a coloring book near the GA/FL line. I have never seen a 4 year old travel so well. She never complained; she sang, made me tell her stories about Jesus and played. Every once in a while she would ask, “How much longer til Papa?” Every once in a while, I would reach back to squeeze her leg and she would grab my hand and hold it for a few minutes. Oh, the feeling of that little hand securely snug in my own!

After a week with Nana and Papa, assisted by Aunt Dee, since Nana had to work, we made the journey back to meet her mommy. We stayed in another hotel and the next morning we found a pumpkin patch with a maze and then met mommy at a beautiful state park.

As my daughter strapped her in the car seat, she said, “I’ll miss you Nana”. I told her not to cry and that it wasn’t goodbye just see you later. I got in my quiet car, tears welling up in my eyes and my heart aching with missing her already. With a song of praise and a prayer I encouraged myself and headed south alone, thankful for the precious time with her.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: grandchildren, grandparent, nablopomo, Travel

Weekly Writing Challenge: Pie

November 12, 2014 Leave a Comment

Photo found at theartfulpie.com

The Weekly Writing Challenge was to write about Pie.

I have to admit that the closest I have ever come to making a pie was the scores of mud pies my sister, brother and I made, and let me tell you, we got pretty creative with them. We tried different dirt, different consistencies and even used some of Mom’s kitchen items to prepare them. They sported berries, leaves, grass and rocks and looked so tempting, we even tasted them a time or two.

Seriously, I never cared for pie much so I never learned to make them. There were a couple of exceptions. My late paternal grandmother, aka Granny, whom I have written about in many posts, made a chocolate pie with meringue piled high that was delicious. Granny wasn’t the Suzy Homemaker type. She fed her family, but she didn’t don an apron just for the fun of it most days. She would to teach one of us how to cook something, because she would do anything we wanted to do as long as it wasn’t dangerous, but she didn’t have any aspirations about being Martha Stewart. However, just the mere mention of her making a chocolate pie was enough to have me looking forward to dinner time and licking my lips at the thought of that comforting chocolaty classic. The light-as-air, lightly toasted on top meringue was heavenly too. I am not sure why I don’t possess this recipe and have never tried to make, but I will have to rectify that post haste.

Many of my relatives made the Florida favorite, key lime pie. Although it is good, I always much preferred chocolate anything to the tart taste of this one. We always had the traditional pumpkin and pecan pies at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but the fudge and red velvet cake won out for me!

My mother made a pie she referred to as green pie although that is all I recollect about it. I remember when I was a teenager that one of my sister’s boyfriends loved the pie so much that he would beg her to make it. She often did and made it for him on his birthday. I don’t even recall what the ingredients were or how it tasted because back then, again, it just wasn’t my thing.

I am finding that the older I get, my taste for pie is increasing, so I guess I should be thankful for this prompt because I believe it has inspired me to try my hand at pie making. Maybe this Thanksgiving my guests will get to taste a real homemade apple pie, with caramel drizzled on the top and sporting a perfectly browned buttery flavored crust. At the very least, I will make the chocolate pie.

More posts featuring Granny – The Lost Laces, Peeling Trees and Dialogue

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: chocolate pie, key lime pie, nablopomo, pie, weekly writing challenge

Worry doesn’t change anything

November 11, 2014 4 Comments

The Prompt: If you could permanently get rid of one worry, what would it be?

I don’t believe in worry. Yes, I know we all have our moments, but I choose not to let worry control me. There are times I battle with it, but if I give it to God, the fear dissipates. It was a lesson that was hard to learn, but when you realize it’s useless, it becomes easier to let it go. I wrote a short story to show how I feel about worry.

It was getting late and the Browns were getting ready to turn in for the night. Faith Brown was humming a hymn as she removed the excess pillows and turned down the sheets. Her husband, Wori Brown grunted as he stalked past her on his way to the bathroom.

Faith shook herself out of her slippers and tossed her robe at the bottom of the bed. She kneeled by the bed and said a prayer, then climbed into bed and snuggled into the warm covers, thankful for a safe, comfortable home.

Wori needed to go to bed as 5:30 came early, but there was just too much on his mind. He paced through the house a few times trying to figure out what to do about the shortage in the checking account. He was overwrought with concern over some choices their adult son was making. He wondered what he could do or say to get his son to listen to reason. He was stressed about the way he had spoken to his favorite employee today at work. By the time he finally made it to the bedroom, Faith was fast asleep. He tossed and turned and awoke groggy after a fitful night’s sleep.

Faith awoke with the dawn and sat down with her coffee and her bible to start the day on the right note. She enjoyed her coffee, read from Psalms, prayed over her family and went about her day’s tasks.

Wori gulped down his coffee, rushed out the door and hurried to work. His mind was full of distressful thoughts throughout the day. His stomach was bothering him and he had a headache. Traffic was horrible and he shook his fist at a car as he sped past. He felt his blood pressure rising as he had to wait at yet another red light.

As the sun was setting, Wori opened the front door and was greeted by calm wife who informed him that dinner was waiting. The house was quiet and he was glad to be here. He could smell the aroma of his favorite dish and maybe even an apple pie. As Wori ate, he asked Faith how in the world she could stay so peaceful in the midst of such duress. They were going through several trials in their lives and he never saw her falter in her faith.

She said, “Nothing I can do or say will change any of the situations we are facing, so I put them in the hands of God and leave them there. When the temptation comes to worry or fret, I remind myself to think on whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, that is what I think about.

He knew she was right, so after dinner he made his way to the back porch, bible in hand. He spent some time alone, prayed for peace and placed his frustration and feelings of inadequacy into the hands of God. Faith joined him with a smile on her face and thankfulness in her heart, knowing that with God and each other, they could face anything.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational Tagged With: nablopomo, Stress, thankfulness, worry

Eat the dessert

November 10, 2014 2 Comments

The Prompt: Fill in the blank: “Life is too short to _____.” Now, write a post telling us how you’ve come to that conclusion.

Life is too short to turn down dessert.

And shouldn’t be spent nursing a hurt.

Life is too short to go to bed mad.

Wouldn’t you rather spend more of it glad?

Life is too short for holding on to a grudge.

Just let it go; don’t be too stubborn to budge?

Life is too short for refusing to grin.

Hold your head high and stop dragging your chin.

Life is too short to worry and fret.

It won’t change the outcome, on that I would bet.

Life is too short not to love and to pray.

We don’t know the hour, it could be over today.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Poetry Tagged With: life is too short, live, nablopomo

Stumped

November 9, 2014 Leave a Comment

Sunset, Big Cypress NP

As bedtime draws near and I finish my glass of 2% milk with Ovaltine, I am still stumped about my submission for today. When I agreed to participate in November’s challenge to post every day, I fully intended to post every day of November and I still plan to do just that. However, I have returned to the keyboard over and over today and tapped on it, started over, changed my mind, read through about 30 prompts and I still find myself with absolutely nothing interesting to say.

It has been a rainy, lazy day. I only ventured out for church and lunch and although both church services were great and lunch out was enjoyable, I didn’t have an aha moment about something I could write. I think my brain is tired.

My bed is calling but at least I have the satisfaction that I didn’t “cheat” and skip a day.

Until tomorrow…..

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: nablopomo, writers block

Wish I may, wish I might

November 8, 2014 5 Comments

Photo found on http://www.rubylane.com

Does anyone remember the Sears Christmas Wish Book? It hadn’t crossed my mind in years until last night. As I was watching a Christmas movie, I saw an advertisement for Toys R Us and as grandmothers do at this time of year, I paid attention. I spent some time with my granddaughter recently and she was showing me her collection of Shopkins and telling me that I could get them at Toys R Us. They are miniature versions of items you would buy in a grocery store and they come in little shopping baskets. She likes to collect them and believe you me, she knows if “cupcake queen” or “toof the toothbrush” is missing.

So, the commercial caught my attention because I wondered if Shopkins might be on sale. I didn’t see anything about the little grocery toys, but I did notice a nice big, shiny toy catalog in the ad.

This took me back in time to the late 60s and early 70s when the arrival of the Wish Book was a big deal in our house. We picked it up at the post office and tore the brown paper off with excitement. By the time Christmas rolled around, it had given us hours of perusing and wishing and hoping, and it was missing pages, and tattered and torn. We would lie on the floor on our tummies, on the rusty orange shag carpet and hover around it circling things. We would put big bold stars on the really important stuff so that Mom would get the hint. Our cousins would visit and we would drag it out and explore once again with them.

My brother and sister were huge fans of the Johnny West action figures so those got circled, I’m sure. They amassed quite the collection; there was Johnny West and his trusty horse, Thunderbolt, Jane West and Flame, Josie West, General Custer, and Geronimo. The horses came with saddles, canteens and blankets and the action figures came with camping equipment and vests, kerchiefs, hats and all sorts of changeable western gear. They would play with them for hours and I am sure Mom thought she got her money’s worth.

Photo found on pinterest

The three of us circled and starred baby dolls, Barbie’s Dream House, Snow cone Maker, Walkie talkies, Spirograph, lite-brite, hot wheels, View Master, Easy Bake Oven, Holly Hobbie, books, games, Love’s Baby Soft perfume, Evil Knievel, Stretch Armstrong, and Tonka Trucks.

I don’t quite remember when I lost interest in the catalog, but I suspect it’s when we started going to the mall more often. Instead of wishing and dreaming, everything was right before my eyes, and I could touch it and test it.

When I reminisce though, I am thankful for those times snuggled close to my sister and brother, even if we did argue about who saw it first and who was really old enough to have it. I am thankful our wish list came from a book with real pages that we could turn together. The Amazon Wish List is great and I used it last year for one of my daughters gifts, but I would have much rather snuggled up with her on the couch and looked through the Wish Book together, circling and making big bold stars.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Christmas, holiday shopping, nablopomo, Sears Wish Book, wish list

Vacation my way

November 7, 2014 4 Comments

Cape Breton N.P.

The Prompt: Where is the one place you would never want to go on vacation that other people seem to love?

The first place that came to mind when I saw this post was Vegas, but I think other large cities known for up-all-night parties and non-stop entertainment would also be deal breakers for me.

Since I would rather not bash any particular city since they are all hometown to someone, I decided to look at this from the perspective of what makes a vacation enjoyable to me, based on my personality and preferences.

When I was younger, I loved to go where there were crowds and rides and entertainment. There were summers on Panama City Beach, baking in the hot sun all day, riding the waves on our boogie boards in the warm salty water until the sun’s light started to wane, then getting ready to go across the street to the theme park. I remember my hair flying behind me while, “Another One Bites the Dust” blared from the speakers as I circled a track at high speeds, which would render me nauseous and require a trip to the chiropractor if I attempted now. I licked the cotton candy from my sticky fingers, while perched at the top of the ferris wheel, the metal chair cool against my sunburn, secretly wishing the shady looking character below would start the wheel spinning again. We hid from our parents and chased boys, giving them false names and numbers and giggling about it in our hotel room, which was joined with my parents.

Fast forward to the summer of 2014 and my husband and I are casually strolling down the street in Bar Harbor, ME, a cool misty rain falling as we seek out the best place for lobster. We sat on park benches and people watched, ate ice cream and tried blueberry tea and watched the sunset.

We meandered up the coast and into Canada, stayed at bed and breakfasts through New Brunswick, and Nova Scotia. We luxuriated in sleeping in, had French press coffee and spent time just soaking up the scenery. We took long walks in parks, inhaled the heavenly scent of balsam fir, welcomed longer lunches and relished each other’s company.

We sat on the rocks around a lighthouse, tranquil enough for my husband to doze off. (I think I even heard him snore) The waves splashed against the rocks, which were nicely heated by the sun which was a comfort on a breezy, cool day. We took pictures of old churches, tasted fresh water at the base of a waterfall, ate too much candy and acted like teenagers.

It was one of the most memorable trips we have taken together. I find nowadays that I enjoy and appreciate God’s creation more and vacation to me means spending time outdoors; somewhere peaceful, where I can just relax. Fewer plans, less noise and crowds and I am a happy camper.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Photography Tagged With: beach, Canada, Maine, vacation

Check my what?

November 6, 2014 8 Comments

We have all heard the phrase, “check your motives” but how often do we really check them? I am finding personally as I try to make a habit of it, that they aren’t always as pure as I had once imagined. This motive checking has been on my radar for quite some time now as I knew it was something God was dealing with me personally about. Not surprisingly, it is way easier to judge someone else’s motives than your own and your family members are easy prey.

My husband and my youngest daughter have always had this thing that they do when I am fussing at them about something. While I am in mid-sentence, they say, “I love you”. There were times when this was infuriating, but a large percentage of the time, it garnered a smile from me and the change of subject that had been their intent all along. Their motive behind saying it was to change the topic and my train of thought, or to derail my indictment. Thankfully, I know they both adore me and that although their motive wasn’t entirely pure, they still meant what they said.

If we pay close attention to our conversations, our emails, and our Facebook posts, they can speak volumes regarding motive. Has anyone ever posted something seemingly innocuous on Facebook, but the reason you did it was to get back at or prove a point to someone? What about the argumentative email that you go back and forth with someone at work? Is it perhaps because you are determined to be right or prove them wrong? Are all of your questions about others out of genuine concern or do you ever have an ulterior motive? Think about times when you are discussing something and you say something that you later regret. Why did you say it? What was your motive behind it? Were you being kind, compassionate, loving and merciful?

Now, for the difficult part of this post, the part where I am completely transparent. Often when I speak, my motive is to prove that I am right, to make myself look good (attain praise), to get attention, or sometimes even to call attention to a fault in someone else. Ouch! The truth hurts, doesn’t it?

Now, you can see why God is dealing with me personally. Thankfully, this journey has opened my eyes to some of the little hidden things of the heart and I have learned about myself and others. I have asked for forgiveness and for God’s help that that my motives will always be pure; that the words I speak are from a heart filled with love.

I want to challenge you to pay attention to your own motives in conversations, as you go about your day and see if you have any “wow” moments in this area. Then, be brave and come back and post something you learned.

I dare ya!

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational Tagged With: check your motive, conversations, motives, nablopomo

Your writing voice

November 5, 2014 1 Comment

Note: For those of you who are wondering about my choices for blogging topic, I am participating in NaBloPoMo, which means I will try to post every day of November. The prompts are provided to help inspire.

The Prompt: Do you feel you have found your voice on your blog? What techniques have you tried to develop your voice in your writing? What are some characteristics of your personality in your writing?

I do feel like I have found my voice on my blog. My goal when I began this blogging adventure was to learn to be a better writer, by practicing; to encourage and inspire others and to share wisdom gleaned from years of being a wife and mother.

I don’t know that I have tried to employ any particular technique other than being myself, being transparent and honest and not being afraid to say what is on my mind, even though others may disagree. This blog has actually helped with the latter, because I detest confrontation. In the past, I would often be silent for fear of repercussion. I have come to realize that my voice isn’t everyone’s voice, but it’s mine and I have a right to speak it.

Interestingly, to me anyway, is that the often hidden aspects of my personality, being the introvert that I am, often surface in my blog posts. My sense of humor, for instance, shows up in my writing when it might not be as obvious in person. I wax poetic here, and I tend to only do that in writing. The biggest part of my everyday personality that shows in my blog is my positive attitude. I am definitely looking for the good and searching for things to be thankful for daily. My devotion and dedication to God, my family and friends should be obvious in my posts as well.

I am grateful for those who have read, commented, sent emails and texts encouraging me to continue. They motivate me to become a better writer and to keep walking on this journey towards being a published author one day.