Weekly Writing Challenge: The Golden Years

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 I am just now submitting last week’s Weekly Writing Challenge, which said, in summary, “to explore what age means to you”.

In a mere one year and seven months, I will be as old as the cassette tape.  How old is that you ask?  Well, that would be a half-century, fifty years old, and a milestone.  I have heard it called the youth of old age.  Currently, I am hanging out in the old age of youth.

When I was a mere youngster, I viewed the elderly with wonder.  I could often make them smile with my antics and as I have mentioned before, I coveted attention.  My wrinkly friends were interesting with their silver hair and glasses, and their candy producing pockets.  I remember shrieking with delight as they stole my nose, or tickled my tummy.

Although I was certainly raised to have the utmost respect for my elders and always have outwardly, my thoughts were not as kind as I approached my teen years.  I lost interest in what they had to say and misinterpreted their unsolicited advice as intrusive and somewhat provincial.  I misread love and concern for fault-finding, dismissing their opinions as I would an unwanted suitor.  After all, what could they possibly know about my situation?  I sometimes lacked patience with stories I had heard countless times and became frustrated by their slower gait or by having to repeat myself.

As I faced my own trials in life, I often failed to listen to and learn from those possessing that hard-earned wisdom.  I could have saved myself so much pain and I could have gleaned so much!  But, my story isn’t a new one and I have been on the other end of that kind of stubbornness and know-it-all mentality myself now.

I don’t recall exactly when fresh waves of realization began to hit me regarding the need to learn from those above me in age and wisdom, but it may have been around the time I lost my mother, before she ever reached the 50-year milestone.  Life as I had always known it was forever altered.  The old adage, “you don’t know what you have until it’s gone” resounded in my soul, no longer shrouded by unfamiliarity, but suddenly crystal clear to me.  Her death left me questioning everything and angry that she wouldn’t be here to continue being “Nana” to my 6 year old or the baby I was carrying.

Not too long after her death, I made my peace with God and found solace in His embrace.  As a result, I began to re-think a lot of things.  I noticed the elders of the church and realized their steadfastness, through trial and hardship.   Their examples were an inspiration to me and I began to feel a deep sense of gratitude for their prayers.  No longer were the “stories” taxing my nerves.  I began to appreciate the experience and knowledge their lives had rewarded them with.  My respect and love for them was once again freely given.

Now, as I ponder the approaching “golden years”, I already have a taste of what being older brings.  Some things, like achy joints and not so perfect vision, are annoying to say the least.  But some of the other things, like wisdom and experience and a new found freedom to be just who you are without fear, are priceless.

I am not afraid of death and what is on the other side of life, but if I am transparent, sometimes, I admit, it’s the aging that scares me.  I think I am more afraid of being alive when no “life” remains.  I know many people feel the same way.

My prayer is that for the remainder of my life on this earth, I will be a wise mentor; that I will share faith. hope and love and be a confidante and friend to those younger than I.  I am blessed to have known many wonderful “golden age” people and it’s my turn to press forward, bravely, on the path to being one of them.

Leave your mark

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As I turned to walk toward home, I saw the long white mark in the sky.  The beautiful blue background made it very noticeable.  A jet had made it’s mark against the backdrop of today’s seemingly endless blue skies.  As I gazed upward, the stripe began to grow a little hazy, it’s lines less defined.  It became lighter and within a few moments, it was gone.  I recalled watching these streaks in the sky until they disappeared when I was a child and wondered why I was so attracted to this fading puff in the sky.  After all, it doesn’t really leave much of a mark, just a temporary trail; they are actually sometimes called “vapor trails”.  It’s presence is fleeting.  It is big, bold and powerful, for a moment…..but quickly gone and forgotten.

“Leaving a mark” stuck in my mind and the wheels began to turn.  What is my mark, I pondered?  I would hope that it would be colorful, not plain old white, which my 4 year old granddaughter would quickly tell you, is the absence of color.   She has smart parents, but I digress.

I want my mark to be big and bold, but more importantly, lasting and worthy of repeating.  I don’t want it to be meager and shallow, but significant and deep.

Every single one of us is leaving one.  Aren’t you glad to know that if you started out faint and superficial, you have time to broaden your stroke?  If you have left black, ugly marks, there is still time for healing.  If you feel you haven’t left much of an impression at all, you can begin to color and embellish.  Additionally, we can also choose to overlook the marks left by others and encourage them to paint over and start fresh.

Let’s leave marks of kindness, faithfulness, generosity, compassion, integrity, patience and above all love.

Weekly Writing Challenge: Threes

This week the challenge at the Daily Post said; In this week’s writing challenge, you’ll write a post using three photographs for inspiration.  I choose three photographs by Sue Nash whose blog is Heavenly Raindrops.

I pulled my car into the parking lot and checked once more to make sure I had placed my new beach permit within clear view.  Just a few more moments and I would be walking on the beach, wind whipping my hair while the sea air cleared my head.

A beautiful peace ensued as soon as my bare toes met with the gritty sand and I breathed in a deep cleansing breath of salty air.

It was a quiet day on the beach, just the way I like it.  The only sounds were the boisterous kiss of the waves on the shore and a few hungry seagulls searching for a hand out.

As I walked, I found I wasn’t completely alone as I noticed a couple of others meandering along the shore.  I wondered for a moment if they came here to make decisions too.

Since I was a small child, there is something about the ocean that calms me.  I have found that in a pinch that other bodies of water will do, although the ocean along with the sound of the waves is my preference.

I feel so close to God when I stand in awe of His creation and I needed to feel that way now.  There was a lot riding on the choices I would soon make, and I desperately needed to hear from Him.

I stopped and flopped down in the still warm sand, just far enough away from the waves to stay dry.  I thought back on all the prayers uttered here and gave thanks for those answered and the ones God chose to answer in a different way than I could have imagined.

I knew as I squinted towards the sky that I would leave here knowing what to do and having a deep peace about it.  As I looked out across the ocean and began my prayer, the sun was beginning to sink a little lower.

Moments later, my heart full of peace, I got up, brushed off my jeans, dipped my toes in the water and felt a smile tug at the corners of my mouth.  As I walked past the fences, placed there to keep people out, I was glad nothing kept me from God.  Ever.

Refreshed, restored and replete with God’s goodness, I made my way to my car, ready to meet the challenges head on.

Weekly Writing Challenge: Leave Your Shoes at the Door

love is

The writing prompt at The Daily Post, said, “This week, we’re asking you to consider things from a different point of view — to walk a mile in someone’s shoes.”  If I understood correctly, we are to write from the perspective of someone else.  Here’s my attempt:

“Honk, honk, honnnnnnnkkkk”.  The young man slowed as he came alongside and looked at me angrily and mouthed what appeared to be obscenities.  He continued pressing his horn as he sped by me, my hands gripping the steering wheel securely at the 10 and 2, just like my dad taught me.  Maybe I was going too slow, but better safe than sorry.  The honking incident hadn’t done much in settling my nerves today.

Moments later, my blinker flashing, I carefully turned into the grocery store and found a spot up close.  That walk isn’t as easy as it used to be and although I’m not ready for a handicapped space yet, the closer the better.  Before I opened the door, I plundered in my pocketbook for an elusive tube of lipstick.  I feel like I need some color, but I’m careful in my application.  I don’t want to look like those old women who miss their lips and color outside of them.

Getting out of the car, I glance down at my Dr. Scholl’s walking shoes and have to remember to be thankful I can still walk instead of wishing I could still sport high heels without pain or injury.

Entering the store, I walk toward the long line of carts and immediately sense the impatience of the sharply dressed young lady behind me.  She is obviously in a huge rush, so I hurry to get out of the way and feel grateful when the cart comes apart from the others easily and all the wheels work.

As others pile into the store, I again feel the pressure to move out of the way, to get through the front door and move to the side.  Tears well up, as I realize I’m considered an obstacle or a bother once again.  I long for my love, my soul mate to be here with me, by my side.  His hand would always guide me and his presence gave me comfort.

In the aisle for baking goods, as I struggled to read the ingredients on a jar, another woman, this one large and more interested in talking on her cell phone, than paying attention, almost knocks me over.  I overhear something about “the old fool” to her friend on the phone.  I am older now, but I still have feelings and ears.  What happened to respecting the elderly?

I look at the cases of water, and would love to get some, but I’m not sure I can grip and lift, and then I would have to also get it into the car, and then into the house.  The cart is heavy even without the water, but I manage to get the few items I came for and make it to the check out.

The young man operating the register asks, “paper or plastic?” in a frustrated tone, like perhaps he’d already asked me before, so I answer him and begin to arrange my items on the belt.

Behind me, I notice a beautiful young woman, maybe barely in her twenties, wearing a big smile.  She says, “Ma’m, could you use some help?” I looked at her with damp eyes, her kindness griping my heart.  Before I could answer, she was at my side, unloading my groceries.

Her only purchase was a gallon of milk, so she quickly caught up with me before I made it to my car.  She insisted on helping me put the groceries in my car, told me to have a nice day and carefully closed my door, when I got in.  With that big smile and a little wave, she was gone.

This young lady had no way of knowing it, but this was my first shopping trip ever without my husband by my side.  He passed away just last month and after all the affairs were settled and the family all back to their homes, I found myself alone, with empty cupboards.

My emotional state was fragile and this girl showed me attention, respect and kindness, asking for nothing in return.  I felt the corners of my mouth turn up and into a genuine smile for the first time in a long time.

Weekly Photo Challenge: Juxtapostion

A juxtaposition is “the act of placing things side by side, especially for the purpose of comparison or contrast”

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Sweet and Sour

This challenge reminded me of a frequent occurrence during a particular period of time when I was young.  Some afternoons, my dad liked to “take a ride” with the family in his pickup truck down one of the dirt roads.  Before we embarked on our adventure, we often stopped at Mrs. Watson’s store for snacks.  We could each pick one candy item and I remember how mom would always tell us we were silly if we picked anything other than chocolate.  She would say, “Eww, you picked that old sour stuff”. On the occasions where she got something too, she invariably picked chocolate.  When we got into the truck with our Sweet Tarts, Razzles, Lemon Heads, and Now and Laters, she teasingly declared their inferiority beside the long adored chocolate.

As I opened the bag of chewy sweet tarts and popped two, one yellow and one purple,  in my mouth I immediately grimaced as the sour registered on my tongue.  I began to parallel the sweetness and the sour to our lives and the way we sometimes pick the sour over the sweetness.  When life delivers the inevitable discomfort of a “sour” scenario, we have choices.  We can suck on that for a while, even though it makes us wince, until we ultimately find ourselves enjoying it, relishing in the bitterness.  Bitterness, hatred and unforgiveness are like a slow growing disease that saps all of our joy and strength.

We can also choose to lift our chin up, forgive quickly, learn whatever God would teach us from the situation and move on.  And as I read the other day from a devotional, “feelings should be indicators, not dictators”.  In the end, it’s your choice, but if you would rather be happy and bring joy to others, pick the sweet!

Just pick one

Life

I just walked in the door from a nice long, gorgeous walk.

This morning, I found myself mulling over one thing after the other that I wanted to get accomplished today.  Knowing that my almost daily walks help me to clear my head and listen for God’s will in the foggy areas, I decided it was time to change clothes, lace up and get out.

If you read my post from a couple of days ago, The Everyday Things, you will know that earlier in the week I received a poignant reminder to slow down.  That continues to resonate in my soul.

It is easy to imagine that the faster we go, the more things we check off that list (you know, the one that never has an ending and is never going to?), the better our lives will be.  So, the outcome from that type of thinking is we hurry to do more.  Wouldn’t you agree?  However, do we do it as well?  Do we focus all of our energy and attention in to one thing and give it our best?

Let me illustrate.  Say, for example, that I feel led to go and visit some of the elderly folks in my community, just to check in and let them know they are loved and appreciated.  If I do something akin to a drive-by, pop in, hello, pop out, goodbye, it’s better than not having done anything.  But, what if I really focus on that person for say, an hour?  What if I look into their eyes, sincerely desirous to see and know their heartfelt needs?  I’m taking the time to discover how I might be of the most help to them, and at the same time, letting them know I really do care about them.

We don’t want to do things just so we can say “I did something”, or feel like I we checked an item off the list, or just “did my good deed for the day”.  The second example involves more sacrifice; it’s more of a heart thing.

Today, as I put one of my new Christmas sneakers in front of the other, I contemplated on this and I knew that I needed to “pick one”.  Pick one thing today, pour myself out and into it.  If there is time left, move on to another, but not at the expense of the first.  This is difficult, especially for women who are so adept at multi-tasking.  That’s a great talent to have in many areas of our lives, but not when it comes to relationships with other human beings.  I continue to pray that I will learn this, let it sink in and make it a habit of my own.

May we all continue to slow down, really listen and love deeply.

The Everyday Things

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This morning the routine I followed was the normal one.  I was logged into my computer and plugging away by 6:00am.  Knowing that I am the most productive in the morning, I try to make the most of my “prime” hours.  Phones, emails and IMs are usually pretty quiet until around 7:00am so I was surprised when at 6:26, I saw an IM blinking at the bottom of my screen.

Quickly, I opened it to scan the contents and smiled to see it was a nice guy from up north and the question he posed was relatively easy, so it shouldn’t take much time.  I hurriedly typed out my response, scanned for typos and hit “send”.  I was done and could now move on to another task.

He thanked me, and then he said something that would change my morning.  He said, “by the way, Lisa, how are you?  Sometimes I ask a lot of questions and forget to ask the really important one, of how one is doing.”

Suddenly it occurred to me that I’ve known this man for many years and had no idea how he was doing either.  As usual, I hadn’t taken the time to stop and ask.  Why are we often too busy to be polite?

This man had (probably unknowingly) just preached an entire message that went straight to my heart and exposed, once again, the selfishness and “much too busy” attitudes lodged there. 

So, I replied, “I understand what you are saying; we all get too busy to slow down and really care, don’t we?  How have YOU been?

He began to tell me that 2013 had been a tough year for him and he was glad to see it go.  He had lost his mother in law to cancer, and while he and his wife were cleaning up her estate, his wife of 37 years fell ill and was diagnosed with Stage 4 breast cancer.   He lost her in August.

Wow!  I hadn’t known and my heart ached for the grief and pain that must still resonate within him.  With the tears that now filled my eyes making the screen almost too blurry to see, I did my best to convey my heartfelt sympathy and congratulated him on such a long-lasting marriage.  He advised me to cherish every moment of mine and I told him I would heed his advice and take it to heart and we said our goodbyes.

Only a few moments had passed, but I looked at the day ahead with a fresh perspective.  I wonder if he even had a clue how his words affected me today or how grateful to him I am.

Everyone is going through things and I want to know, I want to care and I want to bring comfort when I can. 

Look someone in the eyes and ask them how they are today or tomorrow, and then give them time to respond.  If and when someone asks you the same, give them the benefit of an honest answer.  You might give them the opportunity to comfort you.  We all are blessed when we give or receive.

And, always look for the lesson or the reminder in the everyday things.

Glimmer, don’t Gripe

christmas lights

christmas lights (Photo credit: harold.lloyd)

While we dream of a White Christmas, children in a dusty street dream of shoes to wear

While we stuff the turkey and then our bellies, many are digging through garbage for dinner

While we share enchanted kisses under the mistletoe, someone somewhere is suffering violence at the hands of a loved one

As we carefully wrap gifts in shiny paper a laid off dad unwraps an envelope containing a bill he can’t pay

As we go caroling and attend plays and parties, the old man down the street cries tears of loneliness, feeling abandoned

While we fill our spare bedrooms and pull out couches with family and friends, a single mom and her children sleep in the street

And as we deck the halls and our homes with sparkling lights, many are searching for just a glimmer of hope

I write all this, not to upset anyone, or make anyone feel guilty for enjoying your Christmas and family.  ENJOY your family, really take the time to enjoy each and every one of them!  Look into their eyes when they are speaking, pay attention and show your love abundantly.  If you are among the blessed, be thankful for your blessings and don’t you dare complain!

Be the glimmer of hope for someone, whether you think they deserve your attention or not.  After all, when we think about the true meaning of Christmas, isn’t it about a gift of love we didn’t deserve?  Don’t let anyone on your street be hungry, hopeless or lonely this Christmas season.  If we all do that, think of what we would accomplish!

Christmas threads

SONY DSC“Ma’am, may I ask you a question?”  The persistent young lady clutching a tube of sea salt, something or other, actually matched my steps for a few seconds as I hurried past the mid-mall vendor.  After my “no thank you” didn’t faze her tenacity, I tried “No thank, you I’m not interested” in a more serious tone.  When that also failed to weaken her resolve, I decided to just pick up my pace and ignore her.  She was intent on making a sale but I was determined to escape.

Moments later, I settled into a seat with my lunch to take a break and re-group.  I found myself feeling angry.  Why should my leisurely trip to the mall be interrupted by an incident that left me feeling like I’d done something wrong?  I don’t like to use my firm tone of voice and I certainly don’t like to ignore people.  My day begins with a prayer to show love to others, not return rudeness.

Determined not to lose my joy, I let it go, adamant in my desire to shine a little brighter for the remainder of my day.

I begin to recall memories of Christmas shopping in this very mall with my mom, my husband, my mother in law, my girls and many friends.  Some of them are no longer here, but I can meander through the memories and find the moments and share them again.

The heart of Christmas for me lies in my Christian roots; the reality of the gift given to the entire world on that Christmas long ago.  When we celebrate Christmas, it’s based on that love and although December can be hurried and harried, that is where the focus must remain.

As I began to look around a few stops later, I noticed the exuberant face of a little boy as he carefully selected ornaments with his mother.  She spoke softly to him, love and tenderness in her voice.  They were both young and creating “moments” together to be cherished for years to come.

I rounded the aisle and saw what appeared to be a family, according to their similarities in look.  There was an elderly woman in a wheelchair, being pushed by a younger woman, who could have been her daughter.  I paused to let them pass and they smiled in thanks.  Directly in pursuit of them was a younger woman, who was very noticeably pregnant.  I wondered if I was perhaps looking at four generations (one still in the oven).  They made me smile as they laughed and joked about who was “bringing up the rear”, obviously enjoying each other immensely.

We have to remember during all the hustle and bustle of the season to cherish one another and to savor moments and make memories.  Every moment, every event, be it large or small is like a thread, which when woven together with love, create a beautiful garment of memories, that can be thrown around our shoulders to embrace and comfort us time and time again.

And that reminds me of the comforting love of the Father – Have a blessed day and cherish those moments!

Morning dew and joy

rain drops on hisbicus

rain drops on hisbicus

The only light she saw was the blue dot on the DVR player and a soft glow from the computer screen.  At 2:00am, it was dreadfully dark and silent except for the sound of the ceiling fan as it followed its infinite circular route.

It was time; time for prayer and quiet reflection, time to stop suppressing the angst and the pain; time to release the fear and let it all tumble out in salty cleansing tears.

She doesn’t like to cry, especially not this kind of cry; the heart-wrenching sobs that had threatened like a black and dreaded storm cloud for days now.  She likes to show herself strong, capable, and unmoved by life’s jabs and pokes and knockouts.

But deep within, she knows that to give up on self, to let go and let God is the answer.  That is when the healing can begin and joy will return.  Not the “ha-ha” playground laughter kind of joy, but the deep-down to your soul kind.  On her knees, pouring it out in sobs that are interrupted by deep gasping breaths, she lets God right things.

Then, peace ensues and a heart at rest can finally rest.   The mind stops racing, and the once elusive sleep comes quickly.

Morning breaks with a sunrise of hope and goals and motivation afresh!  Yes, joy does come in the morning.

Mitch Teemley

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