English: Noblemen conversing. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
A Chinese proverb says, ““To listen well, is as powerful a means of influence as to talk well, and is as essential to all true conversation”.
Why is it then, that when someone needs to talk to us, we automatically assume we have to have an immediate response to everything they say? Now, obviously, in a normal conversation, more than one person is speaking, thus the term conversation.
But, what about those instances when a friend or family member comes to you and shares something personal or intimate? Why don’t we realize that we don’t always have the answers and that there are times when silence truly is golden? Often people just need to vent or even just hear themselves say something out loud. There is nothing more frustrating than when you just want to share something and the person you are conversing with has to have solutions to everything. Sometimes they are truly just trying to help, but often I think we are just so sure of ourselves and prideful that we think we really do have all the answers.
The art of conversation is grossly lacking in our modern times, largely due to the rapid increase in technology in recent years. Doesn’t it seem like we talk more in different arenas, but we actually say less? Abbreviated words and slang don’t seem to hold the same meaning as some of the older words did.
However, I think the area most in need to an overhaul as we communicate with one another, is the ability to listen. How often do you feel like you are competing with a cell phone? The most atrocious example of this is when I see parents doing this to their children. When your children want to speak with you, listen. There is a time for work and a time for them. When it’s their time, give them your full attention. I can assure you that when they have left the nest you will regret every moment you missed or neglected.
Personally, I want to be more aware of this lack of common courtesy for others, mainly in the “listening” department, and remember to check myself in conversations to assure that I am attentive. Can I be blatantly honest here? I know how often I find myself preparing what I am going to say before the other person is finished with what they are saying. I feel myself almost rushing them in my head, so that I can speak. That must mean I think what I am going to say is more important or offers more in some way. God help me to change this!
When I do challenge myself to be silent more often and just sit back and listen, I learn so much more about my fellow-man. This is a necessity if I’m sincere about my efforts to put others first, to honor others before myself and to learn more of their plight, that I might find a way to help. Hmm…something else to ponder if you will. Blessings!
Long walks and dark chocolate 