A Tranquil and Quiet Start

On this beautiful fall Saturday morning, I’m grateful. Looking out my window, the leaves are fluttering on the trees, and some are giving up their lifelong perch and floating gently down to a ground already covered with their neighbors. The sky is blue with a wisp of white here and there, and the app on my phone promises a high of 71. The perfect autumn day! It inspired me to create a quick poem 🙂

Looking out my window, here, I feel such gladness, joy and cheer.

Leaves are falling gently down, they reach with silence, the covered ground.

Winds blow softly through the trees and dismantle the ones that are left, with ease.

A sky of open, endless blue, touched softly by a faint white hue.

A morning crisp with lingering chill yet whispering warmth that soon will fill.

Inside we are blessed with a tranquil start, the result of quiet and peaceful hearts.

A day began with prayer and the Word and assurance that our prayers are heard.

Leftover coffee, some still in the pot, smells awfully delicious, though none of its hot.

In the background, Christmas carols play, Their echo weaving through the gray.

Stirring the heart in a tender way,as autumn quietly slips away.

This day will pass as quickly as ever, no matter how slowly you choose to endeavor.

So, take a breath, take a pause, and savor all the joy it draws.

“This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it!” – Psalm 118:24

When ‘Someday’ Becomes ‘I Did It

With God’s help and the support and encouragement from my husband, family and friends, I finally published a book. It’s a short, funny children’s book based on a poem that I wrote and posted right here, many years ago. It’s titled, “If I Were a Turkey

I’ve learned that sometimes you just need to finish something, not because it’s perfect, but because it’s real. I had talked about this idea for so long that it became easy to stay in that safe space of “someday.” But there’s something deeply satisfying about crossing that line, seeing the final product, and realizing it’s yours. It’s proof that you followed through and that you can do it again.

The fear of failure can quietly hold us back from the very things God is calling us to do. Yesterday after church, I spoke with my granddaughter Cali about her lesson on Moses and the burning bush. It reminded me how God can call us in many different ways—often when we feel the most unprepared.

Granted, publishing a book isn’t anything like what Moses faced, but learning new software programs certainly wasn’t my idea of fun either. I had to figure out Canva, BookBrush, Kindle Publishing, and several other tools that were completely new to me. There were moments I felt overwhelmed and frustrated, but with prayer and encouragement, each task was slowly accomplished.

Moses had a profound fear of failure and a daunting task before him. Yet God’s response was simple and reassuring: I will be with you. Moses didn’t need to be perfect or confident; he just needed to be willing.

Each of us has been given gifts and talents by God. They are not meant to be hidden away in fear but used in faith. When we trust that He will equip us for what He asks us to do, our fear becomes smaller and His strength becomes greater.

Now go! I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say.” Exodus 4:12

Desperate

Jesus, You were spit on, ridiculed, beaten, called a drunkard, a glutton and a liar. You were betrayed by many including those close to you. You beheld the hatred, the depravity, the gross reality of the state of the human heart. You were hung on a cross between ungodly men, mocked and provoked.

Yet you died for those who had committed these sins against you. You gave your life so that these and many millions after them might have hope, a chance at salvation, and eternal life.

Yes, you were disgusted by the religious leaders, yet so merciful that your love changed Saul to Paul. You got angry, even turned over tables, but never committed sin.

You witnessed the atrocities man is capable of, you heard our pathetic excuses, you saw our doubt and unbelief.

Yet, you died for us.

You knew there would be more of us, generation after generation of self-righteous, flesh-gratifying, self-loving, immoral humans, born into sin.

Yet, you willingly went the way of the Cross.

Your love is unfathomable, your mercy undeserved, your long suffering immeasurable and your grace, ever amazing.

I want to love like you do; to see hearts, instead of hands; to see possibility instead of reality, to see hope instead of despair and life instead of death.

Oh, to truly be your hands and feet, all the time. This is my prayer. I know that kind of love is impossile without Your love, without Your spirit dwelling in me. Teach me, show me, mold me. Forgive me my pride and arrogance, my detestable desire to be right at all costs, any bitterness or hatred towards people who I disagree with. Humble me and break my heart for what breaks yours.

For You are the only hope and my faith is in You always.

Misguided persistence

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“Stop nagging!” We have all heard it and we have may have said it to someone else. If you look in Webster, the definition is “persistently annoying or finding fault with someone”.

When I think about nagging, I am reminded of summer evenings, sitting outside trying to relax while being persistently and relentlessly pursed by a gnat. It buzzes around your face, your ears and nose, awaiting an opportunity to settle in and bite. It is this incessant, relentless pursuit that sends you running for the house or bug spray. You will do whatever it takes to make it stop.

That is exactly how I have found myself behaving with certain family members at times. They won’t sit still and just do what I want, what I think is best, so I continue with the constant buzzing, thinking I will get a different result. Meanwhile, my victim wants to shoo me away, to render me speechless or probably even smack me at times. When they think they have peace, there I am again. There is a reason the book of Proverbs says, “it’s better to live in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife”.

I used to plan a big long perfect tailored speech, assured that if I could just get my victim to sit still long enough, they would finally get it! They would finally open their eyes to the truth I was so anxious for them to discover. Now, might be a good time to clarify that I am not talking about teaching your children wrong or right, or lovingly steering them in the right direction. I’m not even talking about a good discussion with your spouse. Remember the definition for nagging is annoying and finding fault.

The constant nagging wears people down. It never results in good. You never figure out just the right way to verbalize things to get your way. You ultimately do more damage with your words, especially when they accuse and find fault. Remember, it’s just annoying buzzing. Eventually, they will learn to run and hide.

I believe that God looks at the heart. For example, say that I am firmly convinced that my child should do something because I think it’s in their best interest. And say that I am right in this case, because I’m not always. What if she does it for me, but only for me. That’s nice and it feels good for the moment but has her heart changed on the matter? If her heart hasn’t changed, will it last? If she hasn’t received the conviction for herself, in her spirit, she won’t be doing it because its something she believes in. So, in turn it doesn’t feel genuine, because it isn’t. I might feel good, but she doesn’t because she is betraying her heart. She may be wrong, but until she realizes it, it doesn’t matter.

I have learned the hard way that I get more flies with honey. If I just go about the business of loving my family members, like Jesus does (unconditionally), and pray for them, eventually things work out and never the way I would have done it.

What if I did win? What if my nagging paid off? Then I would feel worthy of the credit. I did it, I fixed her. But, the glory belongs to God and He will have it.

So, the more quickly we learn to surrender outcomes to the One who truly knows best, the easier it will be for us to relinquish our delusions of having control. When someone you love makes a choice for themselves or because God touched their heart about something, a genuine change occurs. This is between them and God. We all have to learn most things and certainly some of the most important ones for ourselves. If we truly believe how much God loves us and ours, we can find the faith to believe in a good outcome while we are waiting.


The love in the No-nos

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As Nana instead of mama, I can get tickled when my almost two year old granddaughter is testing my daughter.  I have earned that right but I am wise enough to hide my laughter.  My cousin’s wife has termed it being “rascally” when she starts acting like a little stinker.  This usually happens when she is fighting sleep, but lately with the two’s looming in the near future, it happens more often.

She will go up to something she knows she isn’t allowed to touch and get her finger as close to it as she possibly can and look at you, studying your response.   There is a snowman dish that captivates her, but she knows she can only look at the “no-man”, not touch.   The other day, she touched it and took off running.

She is trying to see how far she can push before it’s too far.  What can I really get away with?  Will this really hurt me, or is mom just saying that?  What happens if I touch the forbidden?  She runs full speed ahead trying to taste, touch and see everything as fast as her little legs will carry her.  When she knows she has committed a “no-no”, she will swing those golden curls back, look at you and swat her own little behind, all with a smile on her face.

She knows exactly what she is doing, yet there is something in her that rebels.  She doesn’t always just listen and obey.  At times, she has to learn the hard way.

This morning, I was contemplating sin and temptations and how long suffering God is with us.  I am a firm believer that Jesus died for my sins, but I also believe when I committ them, I need to repent.  Daily I pray that God will search my heart and help me to live a holy, committed life for His glory.

I thought about my granddaughter’s behavior and it reminded me so much of us as God’s children.  Oh, how He loves us!

How often do we run through life anxious to see it all and do it all, and we wander too close to the things that God knows might cause us harm?  He warns us, yet sometimes we fail to heed the Father’s voice.  That seemingly harmless conversation we are being lured into might cause us pain later.  A still small voice whispers, “no-no” but we ignore the plea and carry on, like a toddler running with scissors.

Thankfully, when we fall, He is there to pick us up.  He willingly forgives the offense and loves the hurt away if we let Him.  If we are smart, for our part, we will repent and learn something and we don’t have to repeat that lesson over again. We aren’t toddlers trying to figure out who is in charge.  We do already know that God wants the best for us, and that His plan for us is perfect!  Why do we question that?  If He keeps something from us, it will always be for our benefit.  If He changes our direction, it’s to keep us on the best path.

His banner over me is love.  Maybe we can remember that the next time the spirit of God is dealing with us about something.  His no is always shrouded in love, just like ours are with our children.   It always means, I know a better way or I want a better outcome for you.  It means, I love you.  Trust that love.

 

The Anything But Ordinary Day

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Today started out like most ordinary Fridays, with me peering through half closed eyes at the clock to check the time, then realizing its almost seven and feeling like I’m wasting the day away.  I stumbled to the bathroom and on to the kitchen for coffee.  Thursday is my Friday, so today I allowed myself to sleep late (for me) and take my time getting the day started.

Most Friday’s I do errands and this day would be no exception.  As I journeyed to town, I took the time to thank God for the beauty all around me and to ask for His mercy throughout the day.  I thanked Him for loving me and loved on Him as I enjoyed the view and the drive.  I felt such peace and such a spirit of gratitude enveloped me.  I determined in my heart that nothing would take that perfect peace away today.

I thought of a quote I had read this morning that said something about how we could be standing right next to someone who is completely broken and never even know it.  I would approach others with this thought in mind and show love.

As I drove on, I didn’t sense any agitation over other drivers or traffic.  I had a busy day ahead and many things to do, but I turned up “The Message”, sung along and resolved to do each errand without rushing and with patience and kindness.

Part of my list today included picking up some of my granddaughter’s medications.  This can be a test in and of itself because often they aren’t ready, doctor hasn’t approved yet, they require a specialty pharmacy or a compound pharmacy (all things I would have never known about until Cali).   I called the farthest pharmacy away (the compound pharmacy) and although that one wasn’t ready yet, they said they would text me when it was.  My first actual stop was another pharmacy.  The prescriptions weren’t quite ready here either, but they told me to come in and by the time I got to the counter, they would have them.  They weren’t all covered by insurance, but the cashier offered to find a coupon that saved me $20.

One of these meds needed to be refrigerated, so I bought an inexpensive cooler and ice and was on my way to grab lunch.  My hubby’s business needs required my next two stops and I found what I needed without delay and readied myself to kill time waiting on the other prescription.  But, I got a text hours earlier than anticipated and proceeded to the other place, where everything was ready.

I went on about my day and every single conversation and experience was a pleasure.  Traffic seemed to be waiting to give me the best spot in line; everyone was kind and helpful and returned my smiles.  At my last stop, I talked to lady who was busily stocking shelves and she gave me a much appreciated compliment and then at the checkout I got to hear a story about a man who is helping build homes in earthquake devastated countries.

I left there with a grin on my face and the realization that today had been an extraordinarily good day; a day filled with peace and laughter.    Many days are filled with impatience and agitation.  Some “errand Fridays” I complain about traffic, rude people, long lines and anything else I can think of.  Today, I didn’t!

Yes, I know that all days aren’t amazing and bad things happen, and we are faced with trials and troubles.   However, I also know that how you approach your day makes a big difference in the outcome.  Oh, the problems are going to show up.    It’s how we deal with them that matters.

If I mediate on and implement the scriptures that say “love is patient and kind and long suffering” and the ones that say “think on good things” and “say things that edify others and build them up”, I know without a shadow of a doubt my day is going to go better than if I gripe, grumble and complain and look for the bad.  If I meet others with a long face or a scowl, guess what I will probably get in return?  If I greet the day with a grateful heart, thankful that I am saved by grace and given this precious gift that comes with such amazing peace I am much more likely to stay on the positive side of things.

As I sit here, errands done and the day winding down to a close I am thanking God again for His many blessings and for this anything but ordinary day.

Dreading the end of the season?

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This morning before leaving for work, my husband kissed me and said, “Babe, try to just relax today”.  His recognition of my recent relentless efforts to ensure everything went smoothly for Christmas made them all the more worth it, but also reminded me that my favorite holiday was over.

I refilled the lovely coffee cup, covered in cardinals and pinecones, a cherished gift from my youngest and opened the festive Ziploc bag filled with mint chocolate chip cookies baked days ago.  Even as I took one out, I lamented the number I have eaten this season.

Sitting in my chair, coffee cup in hand, I looked at our Christmas tree, the floor beneath it now bare, except for one stray shiny ornament and a lone undelivered present.  Moments later, I saw a snapchat notification from my youngest and opened a picture of her Christmas tree with the caption, “I don’t want Christmas to be over”.

Since I was entering my time of devotion and prayer, this topic was something I reflected on during my quiet time.

Why do I dread the arrival of December 26th?  To answer that question, I must first ask myself why I love the days preceding it.  That’s easy, right?  The month of December is filled with hope, with expectations, the joy of giving, and the arrival of friends and family for long overdue visits.  People take days off and spend them at home, we search for that perfect gift for those we love and for the most part people seem more cheerful.  There are more commercials and movies crafted to observe the joy of the season and it truly does seem that more love abounds or at least a better sense of family and fellowship.

As we celebrate the Christmas season, we reflect more on that life changing gift of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  We honor the greatest love ever known and we are constantly reminded of it.   We are surrounded by Christmas carols, and many of them honor the Holy One and the virgin birth.  We see joy manifested in human form in the faces of our children and grandchildren.  We see that giving a gift means we sacrifice something to give to another.  Often, but sadly not often enough, we see forgiveness and healing in relationships.

So, if all of the above is what I love, why do I dread what I perceive in my mind to be the “end” of this glorious season?

It isn’t over.

Yes, the Christmas season is over; the last carol has been sung, the last sugar cookie decorated like a candy cane for a while, the gifts are all open, the decorations are already starting to sag and look out of place and some of our families are already homeward bound.

The seasons will change, as they should as new seasons bring new growth.    But, the reason for the season never changes and that reason always has been and always will be Jesus!  He truly is the Gift that keeps on giving!   We are abundantly blessed and we can continue to be a blessing all year long.  We can keep the spirit of Christmas strong and alive and well by loving hard all year long, by finding the perfect gifts to bless the poor, lonely and hurting.  We can freely and diligently give the gift of prayer.  We can decorate lives with compassion, empathy and laughter.  We can put God first, family second and everything else below that.  We can fellowship more often and be generous in gifting our time to those we love and we can certainly choose to allow a fresh wind of forgiveness to blow through our hearts when needed.

All of this should be obvious of course, but sometimes we need to take the time to allow God to remind of us of old truths and I for one, am glad I did that this morning.  Today is a brand new day, filled with life, breath and salvation and I intend to enjoy every minute of it!

Just give me my binky


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We sat there in the dark watching her fight sleep, contorting her little face every which way trying to hold on to her binky when it threatens to fall.  A binky is otherwise known as a pacifier for those of you who may not have heard it referred to that way.  She loves that thing.  I’ve heard folks voice their opinions on them both pro and con and have probably stated my own in the past and likely in a negative way to some poor new parent.  This is something else I have learned; don’t judge the child still sucking a binky or maybe still wearing diapers.  I don’t know their journey.

13912343_280314879008026_5289825603233603215_nCali will be 5 months old on the 13th of this month and all she knows up until now is the inside of a room without outside windows.  It is mostly white and very sterile.  Thankfully, we can dress up the crib a bit and bring some toys in, but it’s just not home.  We can’t roll around in the floor or fall asleep with her nestled on our chest.  We have to wear yellow gowns to hold her and she is still attached to several lines or tubes.

I try to imagine her discharge day and the way her little eyes will behold so much newness in one day.  She will leave the room she has grown up in thus far, see sunlight, ride in a car, see her own home and sleep in a new bed.  As anxious as I am for all of this to occur, my heart goes out to these little ones making these big adjustments.   They are used to the whiteness, the machines, the beeping and blinking and the cries of other little ones.  Maybe I’m just emotional because this is my little granddaughter, but it’s something I have never once thought about until now.

I am determined to learn from this experience, resolved to be a better person because of it, and adamant about increasing in compassion and empathy for others.  This brings to mind the verse in Hebrews, “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are–yet he did not sin.”

We should be able to empathize with the weaknesses of others and consider their voyage through this life and the ups and downs and tests and turmoil.  Maybe I’m being too transparent when I admit how blind to the predicaments of others I have been in the past.  Perhaps some of you will think less of me because of it.  But, when I decided to have a blog, I always intended to openly share experiences, always hoping my stories would help shed light on someone else’s path.

I am sincerely grateful to God for every opportunity I get to show love and compassion to someone else, even though I still often fail Him.  I still fail in recognizing needs or simply stay too busy to do all that I would like to.  You know, part of loving others starts with really listening, taking time enough to know a need exists.  We are a busy people and we have to make a point to slow down and be attentive, even in our own families.

PS – Cali is doing much better.  They removed her PICC line this week.  Her bottle feeding has increased greatly as tube feeding has decreased.  She is up to 8 lbs 1 oz and if she continues to do well on feeds and continues to gain weight, our discharge date will be closer 🙂

Related articles:  When life throws a curve ball and Cali; the gift that keeps on giving

 

A Few of My Favorite Things

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Inspiration from the Discover Challenge: The Poetry of List Making

A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS

  • Rising before dawn to have coffee and spend time with Jesus
  • Reading in bed until I am drowsy enough to fall asleep
  • Bear hugs from the ones I love
  • Good morning or good night texts from my daughters
  • A nice meal shared with friends or family around a table
  • Sitting outside in the shade enjoying God’s creation
  • Reliving old and making new memories with my girls
  • When my husband calls and plays our wedding song over the phone
  • The hauntingly beautiful sound of a hooting owl outside my window
  • Time spent in worship or fellowship with my church family
  • Sunset boat rides and fishing with the love of my life
  • Travelling anywhere with someone I love along for the trip
  • My quiet devotion time in my favorite chair
  • The satisfaction of a full day’s work
  • Anything and everything to do with my granddaughters
  • Autumn and falling leaves, cooler temperatures and pumpkin everything

Rain or shine

Storms never last

It was a muggy Sunday afternoon and the steam rose up from the pavement as I traveled towards Miami to visit my granddaughter in the hospital.

Thankfully, I was nice and chilly thanks to my Explorer’s air conditioning unit.  As I took in the beauty around me and prayed for our little Cali and other needs, I remember becoming very aware of a Florida weather phenomenon if you will.

One minute it was raining, pelting down all around me, wipers rushing side to side on high speed, struggling to keep up with the falling drops.  The next minute, the sun was peeking out, I caught glimpses of that steam rising, and I could see blue skies ahead.  Then again suddenly, the clouds overhead would fight to shed their moisture, seemingly all on in one area and then I would burst forth out of the deluge again and readjust the wipers.  As soon as I thought we were down to that low intermittent speed, the skies would open up again.

If you are from Florida or traveled Florida much in the summer, you are likely shaking your head in agreement, as the same thing has happened to you.  Maybe it happens in other places too, but I’ve only experienced it in my home state.  Rain is pouring down on my neighbor and my grass and foliage is begging for a drop.

Anyway, all of this is occurring as I am fervently praying for answers and help with all of the complicated little vignettes of drama in my life.  The same thing occurs 4 or 5 times, and I was beginning to think it was getting a little creepy like I was in the twilight zone.   Finally I go through what was to be the last storm and I see the light…the sunlight and no more clouds.  I see perfectly beautiful, clear skies with no rain in sight.   I feel like God is showing me that there will be days of rain and days of sunshine, there will be storms, there will be times when you aren’t sure what to expect but in the end you will make it through.  There will be days of bright sunshine again.

Then I feel that peace, that wonderful peace that always assures me He has heard my cries.  And I know that he will continue to give me strength for the journey.

Blessings!

Mitch Teemley

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