Family – Long walks and dark chocolate

Thinking and thanking

October 21, 2013 Leave a Comment

spaghetti-squash-with-parmesan-cheese (Photo credit: famfriendsfood)

The smell of bacon permeates my kitchen as it pops and splatters noisily in the pan. Tonight is one of those “force yourself to put one foot in front of the other; just hurry up and get it all done so you can relax” kind of nights Tonight I find myself lamenting the fact that I pulled out new recipes to try, but stubborn enough to try them anyway. My back is achy because my job in front of a computer all day was a tense one and I can’t wait to hop in a warm shower. At least there is an extra piece of bacon I can munch on as I continue cooking.

Today has been the kind of day where I had to choose to make a conscious effort to see the positive, to choose happy. Throughout the day I reminded myself, “this too shall pass” and “you are blessed to have a job”. As time rolled around for dinner preparation, “I am thankful I have food to cook”.

By the time I pulled the spaghetti squash out of the oven and started removing the tender threads, my mood was already elevating. I don’t know what it was; the smell of the yummy food, the call from my husband (because once again our wedding song is playing on the radio and he likes to play it for me), the message from a friend, or a combination of it all. I just know I stopped and remembered to be grateful. Sometimes you just have to turn off the distractions and take a few moments to realize what you already know.

The truth washes over me afresh, that there are so many people out there who would see one of my “bad days” as one of their “very good” days. The truth stings as I begin to think about those people and some of their situations.

Something to think about as you reflect on your Monday.

Spaghetti Carbonara (splendidrecipes.wordpress.com)

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Cook, Cooking, Family, food, happiness, Home, love, mood, think positive

This too (the chaos) shall pass

October 2, 2013 8 Comments

Morgan and a FL sunset

How did the time get away from me so quickly this morning? My daily routine was all out of whack and it wasn’t even 8:00am yet.

As my daughter reminded me that we had to drop off her car before her hair appointment, the phone rang, adding a few minutes more delay. Finally, I was in the car and on my way and then I saw him. Our elderly neighbor was slowly making his way to the side of the road, waving his hands up and down holding what appeared to be a card. I had to stop, even though I knew this would make me even later.

He had a card for the bride and groom, but expressed his apologies that he and his wife couldn’t attend the wedding. He hung in my passenger-side window and began to remind me of how my children used to plant flowers with them. As much as I knew I needed to go, I couldn’t. This little bit of conversation and the card and well wishes to my daughter were important to him and appreciated by me. He solicited a promise from me that I would remind my daughter of the times planting flowers and encourage her to teach her children to garden as well. As I made my way to pick up my daughter, I remember thinking about how fortunate I’ve been to have great neighbors and friends.

Fast forward past long appointments, crazy traffic, and Costco crowds, and “the list”; the one that never seems to shorten and once again, the stress level seemed to reach it’s almost breaking point. I just had to call my sister. Just hearing her voice helped right away and she began to remind of a few things.

First she said, it’s all going to work out and then she provoked me to remember; these emotions aren’t just about the many “to dos”, or even about the chaos of preparing for a wedding. More than anything, it’s the deep-down inside knowing that in a few days, my baby will be gone. I’m holding that part in, to deal with it later, alone, after all the relatives and friends return to their everyday lives.

With that realization, we both gushed fresh tears, but they were cleansing ones. They absolved my earlier guilt that said I couldn’t handle all of this planning and preparation without wanting to hide in my bedroom. She left me with a heartfelt prayer and hung up to begin cooking dinner for her family and mine. It’s the little things that mean so much.

I can’t even count the number of people who have called, emailed, messaged or sent word by a family member that they are there for me, if I need any help as “wedding day” looms closer. Then there are the wise voices of counsel that comfort and provide that faith bolstering word when things get overwhelming. And as for me, I’m smiling now as I write, although I still have tears. They are happy tears though. I’m so blessed with so many people who love me.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Bride, Bridesmaid, clock, Costco, Event Planning, Family, Mother, Parent, relationship, wedding

And she isn’t even gone

July 21, 2013 6 Comments

Dusky, hazy, purple day after rain

As the thunder rolls outside, it’s almost deafening, compared to the silence inside. There is a faint whisper from one of the televisions left on in another room. Other than that, there is nothing.

Normally, I relish in the quiet but today it is different. Today I cannot seem to stop the agonizing silence from reminding me that there is much more of it to come.

You see my days of telling toddlers to eat all of their dinner or get in the bathtub are over. My days of shuttling adolescents to appointments long before they get their permit are gone. Sleepovers and sports, bedtime stories and battling are a thing of the past. When my youngest departs in a couple of months to carry on with her life, it will leave its mark.

People will tell you to think on the bright side; of lives fulfilled and your “good raising” and grandchildren and hope and dreams realized. And I will. They will say, “This is a normal, natural part of life and you should embrace it”. And I have. Some offer that, “Now, you have all this free time and you and the hubby can enjoy each other!” Yes, this I realize.

But you know what? That doesn’t take away the ache, the missing and the worry.

I know God has His hand on all of us, and things really will work out for the best. And maybe I will even look back someday and laugh about my melancholy days, missing my children before the last one is even really gone.

But not today, not right now.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: child, Children Youth and Family, daughter, empty nest, Family, Home, melancholy

Daily Prompt: There is no place like home

July 20, 2013 2 Comments

The challenge today was to write about this question.

If you had the opportunity to live a nomadic life, traveling from place to place, would you do it? Do you need a home base? What makes a place “home” to you?

Home is where the heart is (Photo credit: countrykitty)

Oh, home; the place where I find solace and comfort and familiarity and family. Could I ever live a nomadic life, home base stripped away? No, that is an easily answered question for me.

I love my mornings at home, rolling out of my king size bed, well rested and ready for a new day. I relish in padding off to the kitchen to pop in my favorite coffee and wait for the keurig to do its job. This is my favorite part of the day, when all is quiet, and the day is like a fresh, clean slate ready to be filled with experiences.

Coffee in hand, I either sit on the couch or take a walk outside to sit on the dock. This depends largely on the weather and our mosquito season. I spend some time in devotions and prayer to fuel my spirit and begin my journey toward another sunset.

I feel safe and at ease in the bosom of this home. It doesn’t matter if family is present or not; because there are so many memories. I only need to pull one up like a movie in my mind to remember the details of days gone by; of new babies arriving for the first time, running children and laughter, packing up rooms as kids move away, and making same rooms ready for visits.

Just knowing that my girls have this home base, however simple it is, is very important to me. Their memories are here. I know that if we were forced to move, we could make new memories and establish that same homey feeling, but I would so miss the memories.

For me, home is where I feel strong and grounded. These walls seem to envelop me with a hug that says, “You are safe here”. Silly? Maybe. A little overboard? Possibly. But, my home is truly a part of me and the joys of making others feel at home here is a pleasure that will go on until I reach my final days and go to my eternal home.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Family, Home

Cherish them!

July 10, 2013 Leave a Comment

The girls when they were young

I’m sitting here wrapped up in a blanket in July, in New Orleans, because my eldest keeps her house like a meat locker. I’m not complaining though, because I couldn’t be happier at this moment, if only I could lose the sinus headache.

It’s funny to sit here and listen to my daughters arguing over how much salt to put in the mashed potatoes and whether they are better with skin off or on.

It seems like only yesterday their arguments were far more boisterous and trespasses were not as quickly forgiven. There were days I thought I would explode if I heard, “Mom!” one more time. Now, there are days when I actually miss it.

There is nothing better than having family together, listening to the chatter and the laughter, recalling old memories and creating new ones.

I wish everyone would realize how important family is and make it a priority. Life is fleeting and there is nothing like the love of family. Your children will grow up so fast and time will really begin to fly more quickly the older you get. Enjoy them, love them, cherish their smiles and laughter and forgive hastily. Don’t set yourself up for regrets.

Love and blessings!

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Family, forgiveness, love, Mashed potato, Mother, New Orleans, sisters

Weekly Photo Challege: Nostalgic

July 6, 2013 Leave a Comment

The Challenge: IN A NEW POST CREATED SPECIFICALLY FOR THIS CHALLENGE, SHARE A PICTURE THAT MAKES YOU NOSTALGIC.

All of the items below cause me to wax nostalgic and even more so, the older I get.

Mother’s recipes

Old photos – this one is my Pop

Mother’s pie plate

journal left to me

Filed Under: Photography Tagged With: Family, family photography, notalgic, photography, postaday, recipes

Too much stuff

June 28, 2013 Leave a Comment

Cluttered Bust (Photo credit: mikecogh)

When my mom was in her forties, although she only survived until 49, I remember her saying, “I’m sick of stuff!” She said it was time to enjoy people and memories and not concentrate on accumulating more stuff; her nick-nacks started to decrease because she didn’t want to spend the time dusting. Lately, I find myself sharing her sentiments. We have so much stuff to take care of that our efforts to keep up with it all cut into the time that we actually spend with our loved ones.

With this in mind, I knew one of the junked up areas in my home/life was my closet. When you go to get ready in the morning and you continually run into the problem where you cannot find that belt or tank or whatever the need of the day may be, you know it is time to get busy! I realize I should have done this as part of my annual spring cleaning. The problem with that is mine never got fully accomplished.

The closet attack started off with a bang and then as per usual, I get hung up in the details. Which hangers should I keep? Should I arrange by season or by color? Will that EVER fit, or should I just give it away and be done with the disappointment? Should I keep the few shoe boxes I have or get rid of them since I don’t have them all? This is the type of minutia that impedes my progress no matter the task!

Finally, I got frustrated, headed for my laptop and read some blogs about closet organization. You would think by 47, I would have figured all of this out long ago, but no, so thankfully I gleaned valuable tips from some savvy women.

Three bulging garbage bags later, I finally saw the bottom of my closet and everything was on a hanger or in a box. Oh, the feeling of finally allowing yourself to let go of “stuff”! But, seriously, if you haven’t worn something in a year, you just aren’t going to. You probably bought it on a whim, on sale or someone gave it to you . Let it go and preferably to someone who can really benefit!

Not a moment too soon, my husband came in for the evening and rescued me from further detailing, so I still have the color coding to go, but this girl is feeling accomplished. Yes, my first efforts in down-sizing to a more manageable collection of clothing was a success and I’m anxious to move on to something else.

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Bin bag, Box, Closet, Clothing, Family, Home, Parenting, Shopping

Digging up Memories

June 26, 2013 Leave a Comment

Reaching upward drinking in the rain

There is nothing more therapeutic in my opinion than digging in the dark soil, until it’s trapped beneath my fingernails, or pulling out the weeds around a plant or in a bed. These sneaky imposters, sporting defiant root systems and a plethora of seeds would like to spread themselves far and wide, but not while I’m on guard.

There is also something to be said for the feeling of accomplishment when you stand, back aching and neck burning from the sun’s much too ardent kiss; and admire your work.

The desire to dig in the dirt goes back at least four generations on my mother’s side. Most of my memories of my great-grandmother Hall are in her yard as I relentlessly peppered her with questions about what each planted was named. I loved to hear the names roll off of her lips; “Why that’s night blooming jasmine, honey”, or “this is a hydrangea or sweet viburnum”. The names sounded exotic and romantic.

Granny’s yard displayed much beauty due to her diligent care. I can only suppose that it was her love for gardening that sparked an interest in my grandmother.

Many times, if you visited either of them you would find them outside. I don’t remember ever seeing either of them in anything but dresses. They may have worn something else, but not that I ever remember. Of course that was when the length of dresses kept their “neathies” (as my mom liked to call anything that should be covered by clothes) unexposed.

My mother shared their green thumb and quickly transformed any yard we had into a well landscaped display of her talent. She recruited us as often as she could to help her and most of the time I was pretty compliant.

I inherited the love as well, but unfortunately not the knack or skill; I fear my thumb is sorely lacking in green. Thankfully, I’m getting better with age, but my kill quota was pretty high there for a while. Maybe one reason I love it so much is due to the memories that I made with each of them. Take some time to dig up some good memories of your own and relish them!

Filed Under: Family and Home Tagged With: Family, gardening, Gardens, grandparent, Granny, Home, Hydrangea, Mother, Parenting, photography, plants

The Two Anniversaries

June 5, 2013 19 Comments

This week holds two special days for me; one is the anniversary of my marriage, which symbolizes a beautiful beginning and the other is the anniversary of the death of my mother which epitomizes an agonizing final chapter in the book of my life.

Since 1996, I have endeavored to honor both dates with all of the respect and enthusiasm I could muster. The first few years after mom died, it was especially difficult to enjoy my anniversary. There was that “other” day coming on its heels, the one where the sky always looks the same as it did on that fateful day and details that would be better off forgotten gallop through my thoughts.

As I have grown older and realize the brevity of life and the importance of enjoying it, I often think of how my mom embraced life.

She was a dreamer, a romantic, intelligent and funny. She lived through some tough things; she lost her mom, her dad, her grandmother and a brother. She went through a heart-wrenching divorce.

However, if you were to inquire of anyone in my family as to who absolutely lit up a room when they entered; they would tell you quickly that it was my mother. She is often remembered for her smile, even when in the midst of adversity.

I will never forget the first time she met my husband and how much she adored him. She said, ‘he’s a keeper”. I reminisce on the first (sometimes bumpy) years of marriage when I dialed her number seeking solace and more importantly someone willing to blindly take my side. Although I’m still not sure exactly how she pulled it off, my outlook was often altered by the time I hung up the phone. She would cause me to look inward, and sometimes identify (much to my chagrin!) when I was the problem.

So, in a strange, somewhat enchanted way, the two days are combined into the fond memories of my mother, the wonderful times we had together; and the beautiful memories of my marriage and the hopes and dreams of many years to come.

There is also the knowledge that she would want me to give my anniversary the recognition it deserves and celebrate it to the fullest. She would flash that big ole’ smile and give us her blessings all over again if she could.

Once again, my memories, which threatened to take on a life of melancholy this afternoon, have only catapulted me to a happiness that comes from knowing that I have been and continue to be loved and nurtured by some of the best! I’m sitting here with your smile, mom and happy tears.

Filed Under: Family and Home, Inspirational Tagged With: anniversary, Family, God, marriage, Mother daughter relationship, Parenting, Relationships

Pondering prom

May 15, 2013 4 Comments

I was just there to do a favor; take pictures that the kids would like, with a decent camera. My role was photographer (not even close to professional and not pretending to be) and spectator.

One of the first cars to pull up after my friend and I arrived was my daughter and wow, she looked amazing. She had that perfect dress on and when she smiled at me, I considered how blessed I was to be here, a part of her senior prom. I could watch her from the sidelines, beside myself with emotion that was pushed way down deep, yet ever threatening to bubble to the top and overflow. But, I promised myself there would be no waterworks tonight.

As I watched the young adults begin to arrive, I was amazed at how beautiful and handsome they all looked. Since I’ve known most of them since they were in diapers, my heart lurched for them too. For some, this would be the final big event of their high school career.

They let me take their pictures, ate a wonderful meal and then the dancing began. This was a great group, not the kind you constantly have to worry about and follow around to intercept any mischief. They were content to be together.

Looking around the room casually, careful not to let my eyes linger anywhere long enough to be that nosy parent, the memories overwhelmed me. The sleepovers, the birthday parties, little league games and youth group. Many have been found eating at my table, riding in my car, sharing secrets and dreams.

We complain sometimes because we live in a small town and our kids go to a K-12 school. It’s small so it doesn’t offer as much variety or choice in sports or academics as some schools. Everyone knows each other’s business, so gossip can run rampant.

But, sitting there thinking about these kids and some of the lifelong friendships, I realized that where we fall short in some areas, we far exceed in others. We’re like family; we all come together when it’s needed. They may argue, but when push comes to shove and there is a need, it’s met.

Their futures loom just ahead of them and no one knows what tomorrow holds, but whenever they return home, they will have those of us who welcome them. We will share in their joy of accomplishments and feel sorrow in their losses.

I had been home about an hour when my daughter arrived and we went through the pictures together and discussed the night. She was happy with how things went, so of course, so was I. (and I was glad she was home and off the road early so this mom could get some much needed rest!)